Horrible Horace on Holiday
Horrible Horace on Holiday
Chapter One – Packing Pandemonium
Horrible Horace was in his bedroom, supposed to be packing for the family holiday. His mother had laid out clothes in tidy piles: socks, shirts, pants, shorts.
But Horace had his own ideas. He packed:
- Three catapults.
- A whoopee cushion.
- Half a bag of crisps (slightly damp).
- A live frog named Gerald.
“HORACE!” his mum cried when she saw. “We’re going to Bundoran for a nice, quiet holiday. No frogs. No catapults. No nonsense!”
Horace grinned. “Don’t worry, Mum. I’ll make it memorable.”
And with that, the Horrible family set off, doom for Bundoran in tow.
Chapter Two – The Guesthouse from Heaven (and Horace’s Hell)
They arrived at McGrimble’s Guesthouse. It was spotless, prim, and quiet. The sign read:
“Peaceful Stays for Peaceful Guests.”
Horace read it aloud. “Peaceful? Boring! Perfect!”
By bedtime he had:
- Swapped the sugar with the salt.
- Tied Maria’s pigtails to the bedpost.
- Put Gerald the frog into Mrs McGrimble’s slippers.
The next morning, the guesthouse echoed with shrieks, shouts, and the sound of smashing crockery.
Horace ate his salty porridge with a grin. “Holiday spirit, eh?”
Chapter Three – Beach Madness
The next day the family marched to the beach. Golden sands, blue skies, the sea glittering invitingly.
Horace buried Tommy up to his neck in sand and pretended he was a “talking turnip.”
He filled Maria’s bucket with crabs and tipped them into strangers’ shoes.
He even tried to ride a donkey backwards.
“GET OFF MY DONKEY!” the donkey man roared.
The donkey kicked over the ice-cream cart. Cones flew everywhere. Seagulls swooped. Children screamed. Parents shouted.
Horace fell into a sandcastle laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.
Chapter Four – The Arcade Anarchy
In the afternoon they went to the amusement arcade. Maria carefully collected her 10p coins to play the slot machines. Tommy gazed at the flashing lights.
Horace, however, had other plans.
He jammed a catapult into the coin slot of a pinball machine. The machine spat out tickets like an angry dragon. Kids cheered, snatching them up.
Then he poked the “Test Your Strength” machine with a stick. The bell shot straight through the roof.
When Mrs Horrible came to collect them, the arcade manager was yelling, and Horace was wearing a giant inflatable banana he’d “won” as a prize.
Chapter Five – Fish and Chips Fiasco
That evening, the family stopped at “Big Barry’s Fish Bar.”
Horace stole the salt shaker and replaced it with sherbet.
He slipped a chip into Maria’s drink when she wasn’t looking.
And worst of all, he opened the vinegar bottle and let Gerald the frog dive inside.
When Big Barry himself came out to check on his guests, Gerald leapt out of the bottle and straight into Barry’s beard.
“FROG!” Barry roared, doing a wild dance around the chip shop.
Maria and Tommy hid under the table. Horace clapped his hands. “Best dinner ever!”
Chapter Six – The Ghost Train Disaster
The fairground was lit up with bulbs that fizzled and flickered. Music blared. Children shrieked with joy.
Horace dragged Maria and Tommy to the Ghost Train. “Come on, chickens! I’ll protect you.”
Inside, skeletons dangled, ghosts popped out, bats flapped. Maria screamed. Tommy ducked.
Horace, however, poked the skeleton with a hidden stick. The whole row toppled, knocking the coffin over, smashing the bats loose.
Lights fizzed. Sparks flew. The train stopped dead. The operator shouted. Kids cried. Parents panicked.
Horace roared with laughter. “Best ride ever!”
Chapter Seven – The Fireworks Fright
On their final night, the town held a fireworks display. The Horrible family gathered on the beach with half of Bundoran.
“Don’t touch anything,” Horace’s dad warned.
But Horace was already near the firework crates. He swapped labels around: rockets marked as fountains, sparklers marked as bangers.
The result was chaos.
- A fountain shot into the sky like a rocket.
- A rocket fizzled sadly in the sand.
- A Catherine wheel chased the mayor down the promenade.
The crowd shrieked, ducked, and cheered all at once. Horace declared it “a masterpiece.”
Chapter Eight – The Boat Trip Catastrophe
On the last day, Horace begged for a rowing boat.
“Nothing can possibly go wrong,” he promised.
Ten minutes later, Maria was screaming, Tommy was bailing with his shoe, and Horace was standing like a pirate king, waving his shirt in the air.
The boat capsized. They all went splashing into the sea. A furious lifeguard dragged them back to shore.
Soaked to the skin, Maria yelled, “Worst holiday ever!”
Horace shook his head. “Best holiday ever!”
Epilogue – The Souvenir
When they got home, a letter arrived from McGrimble’s Guesthouse.
It read:
“Dear Mr and Mrs Horrible, please never, EVER, bring your son here again.”
Horace pinned it above his bed like a medal of honour.
“Perfect souvenir,” he said, and winked.
✨ The End ✨
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 