I’m Henry the cat,
A Castleknock fact,
A cat that’s really a rat,
Spending my days lazing away,
While killing for sport ‘till I’m jacked,
If you think I’m not nice,
That is not my concern.
But remember you this if you please,
I am Castleknock Henry,
Henry the cat, enjoying myself ‘till I die.
Alice in Wonderland Christmas
Yet another free eBook, from me to you
There once was a cat called Henry,
A Castleknock cat, not very friendly,
He thought he was smart,
Going out in the dark,
Until he fell down in a hole, did Henry.
While stuck in that dark place,
Henry thought about his life, his fate,
About the jerk he had been,
To all he had seen,
So he promised to be good, did Henry.
Suddenly, a stick falling into that hole,
Presented a way to escape from it all,
Once freed from that space,
Henry forgot his promise, though great.
And returned to his bad ways, nasty Henry.
One day when Henry was at home,
He fell asleep in the window, alone,
It was an incredibly hot day,
The sun shone brightly away,
And burnt him to a crisp, killing Henry.
The moral of my story is this,
Treat everyone you meet with a wish,
That them all fine,
Lest you reach the end of the line,
In a window, like Castleknock Henry.
Castleknock Henry, is a cat that is fat,
It’s fatter than fat, a cat that’s so fat,
It cannot get into its home natural way,
Neither door or by window, I tell you, I say.
*
It enters its home via the roof,
The chimney above the chosen route,
Landing below in a cloud of black soot,
It meows, mama, it have landed, forsooth.
*
Gazing at it in anger and dismay,
Its mama cried out, you have ruined my day,
Destroyed the hard work I put into this place,
Making it nice my suppers and dates,
I should have listened to Ged; he warned me about you,
Weirdo cat be away I want no more of you!
Castlekock Henry is one horrible cat,
That’s not an opinion, it’s a simple plain fact,
Sleeping all day and hunting all night,
Killing for fun; such a terrible sight,
What can we do to stop this bad cat,
Short of feeding him Prozac or Valium extract?
When will it end we gasp in despair,
As he saunters away for a night of blood air,
It will end, he meows, when I am too old for this route,
Now leave me alone lest I turn my attention to YOU.
*****
Q. How do you sharpen a pencil with a cat?
A. Insert the pencil and then turn the cat.
I am not a bad cat, I am not, no no!
I am not a bad cat, haven’t you heard?
The bird that is dead wasn’t killed by me,
I am not a bad cat, now where is my tea?
*****
I’m Henry the cat,
A Castleknock fact,
The cat that’s really a rat,
Spending my days lazing away,
And killing for sport ‘till I’m jacked,
If you think I’m not nice,
That is not my concern.
But remember you this if you please,
I am Castleknock Henry,
Henry the cat, enjoying myself ‘till I die.
Henry is a horrible cat,
That’s not an opinion, it’s a simple, plain fact,
Sitting all day, doing little at all,
Just eating and sleeping and farting for sport.
The Crazymad Writer 