Castleknock Henry, the FREE EBOOK about a crazy bad cat is available to download now via the link below. Enjoy.
http://www.lulu.com/shop/gerrard-wilson/castleknock-henry/ebook/product-23431720.html
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I’m Henry the Cat, a Castleknock Fact
I’m Henry the cat,
A Castleknock fact,
A cat that’s really a rat,
Spending my days lazing away,
While killing for sport ‘till I’m jacked,
If you think I’m not nice,
That is not my concern.
But remember you this if you please,
I am Castleknock Henry,
Henry the cat, enjoying myself ‘till I die.
Another free eBook, courtesy of the Crazyamd Writer.
Happy Christmas, in advance.
Alice in Wonderland Christmas
Yet another free eBook, from me to you
There once was a cat called Henry
There once was a cat called Henry,
A Castleknock cat, not very friendly,
He thought he was smart,
Going out in the dark,
Until he fell down in a hole, did Henry.
While stuck in that dark place,
Henry thought about his life, his fate,
About the jerk he had been,
To all he had seen,
So he promised to be good, did Henry.
Suddenly, a stick falling into that hole,
Presented a way to escape from it all,
Once freed from that space,
Henry forgot his promise, though great.
And returned to his bad ways, nasty Henry.
One day when Henry was at home,
He fell asleep in the window, alone,
It was an incredibly hot day,
The sun shone brightly away,
And burnt him to a crisp, killing Henry.
The moral of my story is this,
Treat everyone you meet with a wish,
That them all fine,
Lest you reach the end of the line,
In a window, like Castleknock Henry.
Weirdo Cat
Castleknock Henry, is a cat that is fat,
It’s fatter than fat, a cat that’s so fat,
It cannot get into its home natural way,
Neither door or by window, I tell you, I say.
*
It enters its home via the roof,
The chimney above the chosen route,
Landing below in a cloud of black soot,
It meows, mama, it have landed, forsooth.
*
Gazing at it in anger and dismay,
Its mama cried out, you have ruined my day,
Destroyed the hard work I put into this place,
Making it nice my suppers and dates,
I should have listened to Ged; he warned me about you,
Weirdo cat be away I want no more of you!
Haven’t You heard?
I am not a bad cat, I am not, no no!
I am not a bad cat, haven’t you heard?
The bird that is dead wasn’t killed by me,
I am not a bad cat, now where is my tea?
*****
A Castleknock Fact
I’m Henry the cat,
A Castleknock fact,
The cat that’s really a rat,
Spending my days lazing away,
And killing for sport ‘till I’m jacked,
If you think I’m not nice,
That is not my concern.
But remember you this if you please,
I am Castleknock Henry,
Henry the cat, enjoying myself ‘till I die.
farting for Sport
Henry is a horrible cat,
That’s not an opinion, it’s a simple, plain fact,
Sitting all day, doing little at all,
Just eating and sleeping and farting for sport.
I am Castleknock Brutus
I am Castleknock Brutus, a dog, you know,
I am Castleknock Brutus, now where did he go,
That pipsqueak, that thing that calls itself cat,
Where is he at; I want Henry the cat!
I want to kill him, Brutus growled, then eat him up,
That thing, that Henry, that calls itself cat,
When I get hold of him, I will never let go,
Until he is finished and lost his cat soul.
I am here, dog Brutus, I am here before you,
Said the cat called Henry, do you think it not true?
I am not sacred of you, you silly old moo,
You won’t get me, I am going to get you!
Ha ha, barked Brutus, ha ha, he barked,
What a twat you are and not very smart,
To think you are able to do such a thing,
I am laughing so much I am almost choking.
Just then, cat Henry leapt high in the air,
And landed on Brutus who got quite a scare,
Biting hard on his neck he went for broke,
And severed the jugular; Brutus never awoke.
The moral of this, my tale of intrigue,
Is never believe the lies you preach,
Others can, despite what you think,
Finish you off before you can blink.
Henry Fell Down a Hole
There once was a cat called Henry,
Who was incredibly naughty,
He thought he was smart,
Going out in the dark,
Until he fell down in a hole, did Henry.
*
While stuck in that dark place,
Henry thought about his life, his fate,
About the jerk he had been,
To all he had seen,
So he promised to be good, did Henry.
*
Suddenly, a stick falling into that hole,
Presented a way to escape from it all,
Freed from that space,
He forgot his promise, though great.
And returned to his bad ways, did Henry.
*
Next day while Henry was alone,
He set off away from his home,
It was an incredibly hot day,
The sun shone brightly away,
He got sunstroke then died, did Henry.
*
The moral of my story is this,
Treat everyone you meet with a wish,
That their times are just fine,
Untroubled by lives of the nine,
Don’t end up like silly old Henry.
The Crazymad Writer 