Category Archives: cat

Black and Blue

Black and blue, so sore, I say,

Castleknock Henry, I saw today,

 He did not like it, me visiting him,

Whopped my arse and made it sting.

I tried to calm him, make us friends,

It enraged him more, not make amends,

He spat and scratched and punched me hard,

I retreated fast fighting a rear guard

Cat Plank Cat

Fat cat,

Bad cat,

Mad cat,


Nice Cat?

Nice cat,

Good cat,

Kind cat,

You think.

Bad cat,

Dire cat,

Grim cat,

I think.

What to do,

With this cat,

Treat him nice,

Or punish him,

Kill the cat,

Treat the cat,

Or let him be,

Ignoring him.

Castleknock Henry

There once was a cat called Henry

There once was a cat called Henry,

A Castleknock cat, not very friendly,

He thought he was smart,

Going out in the dark,

Until he fell down in a hole, did Henry.

While stuck in that dark place,

Henry thought about his life, his fate,

About the jerk he had been,

To all he had seen,

So he promised to be good, did Henry.

Suddenly, a stick falling into that hole,

Presented a way to escape from it all,

Once freed from that space,

Henry forgot his promise, though great.

And returned to his bad ways, nasty Henry.

One day when Henry was at home,

He fell asleep in the window, alone,

It was an incredibly hot day,

The sun shone brightly away,

And burnt him to a crisp, killing Henry.

The moral of my story is this,

Treat everyone you meet with a wish,

That them all fine,

Lest you reach the end of the line,

In a window, like Castleknock Henry.

Castlekock Henry is one horrible cat

Castlekock Henry is one horrible cat,

That’s not an opinion, it’s a simple plain fact,

Sleeping all day and hunting all night,

Killing for fun; such a terrible sight,

What can we do to stop this bad cat,

Short of feeding him Prozac or Valium extract?

When will it end we gasp in despair,

As he saunters away for a night of blood air,

It will end, he meows, when I am too old for this route,

Now leave me alone lest I turn my attention to YOU.


I am not Roald Dahl

Hard Slog










Q. How do you sharpen a pencil with a cat?

A. Insert the pencil and then turn the cat.


Fat Cat

Fat cat, sat, squashed rat.



Haven’t You heard?

I am not a bad cat, I am not, no no!

I am not a bad cat, haven’t you heard?

The bird that is dead wasn’t killed by me,

I am not a bad cat, now where is my tea?




A Castleknock Fact

I’m Henry the cat,

A Castleknock fact,

The cat that’s really a rat,

Spending my days lazing away,

And killing for sport ‘till I’m jacked,

If you think I’m not nice,

That is not my concern.

But remember you this if you please,

I am Castleknock Henry,

Henry the cat, enjoying myself ‘till I die.


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