Category Archives: The Crazymad Writer

A Christmas present from The Crazymad Writer

For a SHORT TIME only, you can download the new Alice in Wonderland eBook – FOR FREE

Free eBook Alice in Wonderland Christmas story

Click on the link, above, to download this eBook to your computer

An Alice in Wonderland Christmas story

A Merry Christmas present from The Crazymad Writer.

The Mallard Steam Engine?

Welcome to my Crazymad world; stories for children and young at heart adults.

Takes a gander. You will be amazed, enthralled and mesmerized

by what i have here on offer.

So says the Crazymad Writer – ARRGH!

stories for chldren

The Mallard?

No, Silly, it’s the Crazymad Writer steam engine!

You are old, Crazymad Writer…

A very old man at the Crazymad Writer's blog

“You are old, Crazymad Writer,” the youth said,
“And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?”
*
“In my youth,” Crazymad Writer said to the son,
“I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.”
*
“You are old,” said the youth, “As I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?”
*
“In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?”
*
“You are old,” said the youth, “And your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?”
*
“In my youth,” the writer explained, “I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.”
*
“You are old,” said the youth, “one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
What made you so awfully clever?”
*
“I have answered three questions, and that is enough,”
Said the writer; “don’t give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs!”
**************

Read the story through the lines…

99 cent eBook downloads

Read the story through the lines, feel the warmth of reading time.

Dream of softly written words, warm we know, stories told.

As the reading days unfold, hearts grow warmer in the fold,

Peace of mind is all we know, warm they go, stories told.

**************

Stories for children and adults

by ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

Do you want to be certified?

Do you want to be certified as a true practitioner of Mysticology and Magic?

Simply right click on the certificate, below, and save it to your computer.

Then print it, and write your name in the space provided.

You will then be an honorary member of the Onishian

Brotherhood of Mystics.

Fantasy stories for children and adults

*********

Stories for children and adults by The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

The New Crazymad Writer 75 pence postage stamp

It sure is a beauty!

I am NOT Roald Dahl

And here is another one…

Bolf is a very old troll

Coca Cola and The Crazymad Writer

The PERFECT Combination

Coca Cola and The Crazymad Writer

Stories for children and young at heart adults.

Flying High with The Crazymad Writer

Up, up and away

with The Crazymad Writer, for sure.

Stories for children and young at heart adults.

Stories for children and young at heart adults

by ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

Boeing 747 jumbo jet

I am I and who are YOU?

I am Gerrard T Wilson, The Crazymad Writer of children’s stories.

Although my works are primarily aimed at children, adults can and, indeed do,

read them with as much interest and excitement. I like to think that my work

has a universal appeal, spanning the generations, the sexes and even the

continents. I have written so many stories, including ‘Tales of the Extraordinary’

(short stories with a unique, sometimes chilling appeal), ‘Ali-bonkers’,

‘Fizzy Cherry Cola’, and ‘The Witches’, also ‘Forget the Celebrities –

Read about My Crazy Life’ (weird and bizarre tales from my absolutely

crazy-mad life), ‘Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World’ (a follow on story

to Alice in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass), ‘HARRY ROTTER

(she’s a girl and a bad one at that), and ‘Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad

Mr Viscous’ (Jimmy is trying to stop Mr Viscous from rendering the

horses into GLUE). I also wrote ‘Nursery Rhymes – MY CRAZYMAD WAY’

(my own unique slant on some familiar rhymes), ‘My CRAZYMAD Poems’

(a collection of strange, oddball, oftentimes bizarre poems, including

‘Are you Normal?’, ‘Conkers Bonkers’, ‘Louco’s Preferred Drink’,

‘Sparky Parents’ , and ‘I’m NOT Mad’). There is also ‘Bolf’

(a Troll whose idea of a having good time is eating empty cigarette packets!).

You will also read about ‘Fle’ (an extremely old elf who lives in a fertilizer mine),

‘Fairy Tales’ including ‘The Three Faerie Sisters’, the ‘Little Brown Frog’, and

‘A Christmas Story’. Next up is ‘God, dog and Beelzebub’ (what (what on earth

can that be about?), ‘Greengrocer Jack and the Talking Cabbages’ (trying to stop

a giant Yam from taking over the world), ‘Poor Jane’, and ‘A Punt across the

Thames’ (I almost drowned that day!). Last, but certainly not least, I also

wrote Wot, Nott, Kakuri and the HU BA HOU’, a series (three quadrilogies)

featuring the oddball Outlanders, Wot and Nott.

Instead of giving your child that extra toy for his or her birthday, a book is a

far better option. Preferably one of mine, I am sure they will treasure it long

after their toys are abandoned at the back of that dusty old wardrobe.

Signed: The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

I’m mad and getting madder!

Stories for children and young at heart adults

I’m mad and getting madder,

It’s black and white; my writing’s all around,

And oh, I must be getting madder,

And all this show is trying to get me down.

*

There’s a story in the making slowly dying away,

Sometimes I just don’t feel like writing on anymore,

And yet I know it’s more than worth the straining,

For another chance to write another day,

Come on, read with me.

*

There’s a bookshelf in the corner slowly crumbling away,

Sometimes I just don’t feel like writing on anymore,

And yet I know it’s more than worth the straining away,

For another chance to write on the anon,

Come on, read with me.

*****

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