Skewed Rhymes

This book contains a selection of well-known nursery rhymes,

that I have given the once over, in my own, unique crazymad way.

Gerrard T Wilson (The Crazymad Writer)

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A Preview:

There was an Old Woman…

There was an old woman,

Who lived in a shoe.

She had so many children,

She didn’t know what to do.

She had no idea,

How to rear them at all,

So she sent them to boarding school,

And then had a ball.

……….

Lavender Blue, Dilly, Dilly

Lavender’s blue, dilly, dilly,

Lavender’s green,

When I am rich, dilly, dilly,

You’ll eat ice-cream.

 

Roses are red, dilly, dilly,

Violets are blue,

Because you love garlic, dilly, dilly,

I’ll eat some too.

 

Let the birds sing, dilly, dilly,

And the lambs frolic,

We’ll be happy, dilly, dilly,

Eating ice-cream garlic.

……….

Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,

Laughed at old Humpty, broken, in pain.

 

“Will you please save me?” Humpty asked in his pain.

“My shell it is cracked and so is my brain.

If nothing is done by horse or by man.

My time will be gone from nursery rhyme land.”

 

The king’s horses and also his men,

Felt sorry for laughing at the egg in his pain.

So fetching some glue – and super at that,

They stuck him together, though he was ever so cracked.

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