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Monthly Archives: April 2015

Polytar, anyone?

Does anyone know where I can buy Polytar shampoo?

 Polytar shampoo

 

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Posted by on April 29, 2015 in news

 

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Mind my Unguarded Brain

Johnny was a barber; he loved his job, he did,
Cutting people’s hair and mowing other wigs.
Until one day he reeled back, shocked by what he saw,
A hole in the head of a customer, a man so old and poor,
Why don’t you go to the doctor? he asked the man out loud,
To get it fixed, filled in quick, that’s what I’d do, he cried,
No, I can’t do that, the old man then answered him,
I’ve had it there for forty years; it’s a part of me, he grinned,
I would miss that hole in my head; he went on to explain,
Please trim my hair but mind my unguarded brain.

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Free eBooks for everyone!

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I am not Roald Dahl

It’s the way I tell ’em, so it is!

 

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Tins and Junk

Tins and junk, so good to eat,
And garbage scraps are tasty treats.
Trolls swear by them; I’ll try a bit,
They taste SO BAD I am going to be sick.

Bolf at the Crazymad Writer's blog

 
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Posted by on April 27, 2015 in funny story

 

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Skulduggery’s Afoot

Skulduggery’s Afoot

Skulduggery’s afoot; did you hear him say,
Trouble’s abroad, that means TODAY.
It’s time to face the Faceless Ones,
Skulduggery and friend; his best number one.

Skulduggery is dead; he is only some bones,
Traipsing through of Dublin, appearing alone
And just as we think he is finished – again,
Valkyrie appears and saves her best friend.

Derek Landy, a cabbage farmer by trade,
Was inspired to create said detective and aid,
While tending his crops in the field one day,
He shouted, Eureka, I have it; I’m made!

I won’t have to tend cabbages anymore,
Working the fields until my back is so sore,
Skulduggery and partner will give me it all,
Money and fame; I will have such a ball!

It’s goodbye from Derek and adios from me,
He’s off to the bank and I’m off to a field,
Searching through cabbages for ideas of my own,
Like The Crazymad Detective with a sidekick called Bones.

Nah, that’s no good, it’s too corny; let me see…
Ah, I have it, Doctor Bones and his Travelling Palaces.
That certainly has a ring to it.
You want to know what Travelling Palace are?
Hah, that’s easy to explain.
No, I won’t tell you! Read Alice in Wonderland Christmas.
And when you have read it you will understand just what they are.

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Posted by on April 24, 2015 in fantasy story

 

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I’m Not Mad!

I’m not mad; mad, mad, mad,
I’m not mad, not me!
I’m not mad, mad, mad, mad,
I’m not mad, hee hee.
I’M NOT MAD!
We’ll, not so much that anyone would notice, would they?

I am not Roald Dahl

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He Thought He Saw…

Fat cat at the Crazymad Writer's blog

He thought he saw a politician,
Who lived the perfect life,
He looked again, and saw it was,
A huge, humongous lie .
That’s it, he said, I realise,
The foolishness of life.

It’s a mess

He thought he saw an honest man,
Within the parliament,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Another bloated blimp.
Unless they leave this house,” he said,
There’ll be no hope, I think.”

It’s a real mess!

He thought he saw a banker man,
Who made an honest buck,
He looked again, and saw he was,
Entwined in all the muck.
If I were king, he said,
His head would be on the block.

It’s a terrible mess!

He thought he saw a banker’s clerk,
A man of honest youth,
He looked again, and saw he was,
A succubus forsooth.
If he should stay, he said, for sure,
My savings I will lose.

Crikey, what a mess!

He thought he saw a kangaroo,
Hopping down his street one day,
He looked again, and saw it was,
A banker’s ill gained pay.
Were I to accept this, he said,
It would be a dark, dark day.

Mess, mess, mess!

He though he saw limousine,
With groom and bride, so sweet,
He looked again, and saw it was,
The country on its knees.
We’re lost, he said, the country’s bust,
Kaput, no more, deceased.

Fix the mess!

He though he saw a shaft of light,
That shone through all this gloom,
He looked again, and saw it was,
The cold, reflected moon.
If I were young, he said aloud,
I’d make them swing – and soon!

Get those who are responsible for the mess!

He though he saw a chink of light,
A way from all this mess,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Their New World Order – yes!
Their ways are bad, corrupt, he said
For them, not us, excess.

And when we get them, what are we going to do with them?

He thought he saw the final words,
Inscribed upon a sheet,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Them sweating from the heat.
They thought us fools, he sorely said,
Come on, we have lives to live!

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Posted by on April 22, 2015 in humor, humour, Ireland, politics

 

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St George’s Day 2015

St George’s Day and Leyland Princess, what a GREAT combination!

St George's Day 2015

 

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