Henry landed in Ballykilduff,
Castleknock Henry; that is a fact,
In the dark of the night it happened, it did,
At the end of my garden he landed, then hid.
Breda, dear wife, wake up will you please?
Something has landed and I am all in a tizz!
Leave me alone, she answered, I’m beat,
With those words on her lips she fell fast asleep.
Donning my gown and slippers I left,
Her sleeping soundly and into the kitchen I crept,
Taking hold of light; the torch, my best friend,
Into the garden I stealthily went.
Along the path, man and light progressed,
Then climbed the fence, into the field with its guests,
Pointing my torch a thing before me,
I saw a cat, a big one, trying to flee.
What is it doing? I said a bit loud,
Signalling my place, my location – and how,
Pointing his claws, the cat cast me a stare,
As it scrambled towards me like a wild bear.
Thinking my time was finished, all gone,
I fell to the ground, awaiting the anon,
Sorry about that, the cat cheerily said,
I thought you were a dog wanting me dead.
What are you doing? I asked, with curious eyes,
As he cut grass and then took it aside,
I use for food, he told me quite proud,
It’s better by far than mice, fish and birds
I last all night with an armful, he stated aloud.
That’s amazing, I said, can I try a bit too?
Sorry, he answered, it’s not good for you,
Laughing, I asked if there was anything he needs,
Yes, he told me, I would love a pot of tea.
Tea? I gawped, you drink tea way out here,
In a field, on your own, that’s might quare!
No, silly, he replied, it’s to pour down my boots,
I don’t travel on empty, that’s the truth, forsooth.
You pour tea down your boots? I incredulously grinned,
What does it do, make run like the wind?
It does, he replied, how do you know that?
Was your father a tea drinker, or even your cat?
Just then I heard something, someone calling to me,
Gerrard, wake up, its morning; here is your tea,
Waking up in my bed, I saw Breda my wife,
Offering the cup of plenty, tea, the inbibe.
Where are my boots? I asked, still half sleep,
I want them, I need them; oh where are they please?
They are under the bed, here, she said, offering them to me,
Why do you want them before drinking your tea?
Accepting my boots, I poured in the tea,
What on earth are you doing? she asked warily,
I don’t go anywhere, I told her, without filling them first,
Can I have another cup, I asked, because I sure have a thirst.
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The Crazymad Writer 