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Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer

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About The Crazymad Writer

FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, that's what I say, FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, courtesy of ME, The Crazymad Writer. Stories for children and young at heart adults. And remember, my eBooks are FREE FREE FREE!

The Beetle and the Bubblegum Bomb

The Beetle and the Bubblegum Bomb

 

Box Privet, a boy whose soul was perfectly calibrated to the clean, predictable logic of circuitry and oscilloscopes, was currently driving in a state of barely contained panic. His world, once dominated by the pleasant hum of his soldering iron, had been usurped by the utterly unpredictable presence of his cousin, Harry Rotter.

Harry (or Harriet, as her tormented parents used to call her) was the family’s dreadful, dark secret—a calculating girl wizard who had, in a spectacular fit of carelessness, lost her Magical Marbles. These marbles contained the bulk of her power, and without them, her raw, volatile magic was leaking out, manifesting as miniature bursts of utter, sticky nonsense across number five Dorsley Drive.

Their mission—or rather, Harry’s command—was to retrieve those marbles before the leaking magic warped reality completely. This meant Box, the only person with a driver’s license (barely), was behind the wheel of his father’s sacred, air-cooled German machine, the Volkswagen Beetle. Affectionately, and nervously, dubbed ‘The Bug’ by Mr. Privet, the car was a shrine to vinyl and order, and Box was terrified of upsetting its balance.

The Beetle was currently thrumming down Dorsley Drive. Box was at the wheel, his large glasses nearly touching the steering wheel as he gripped it at ten and two, perfectly mimicking the instructional video he’d watched five times.

“You’re driving far too slowly, Box,” Harry said, chewing a massive wad of lurid pink bubblegum. She was sprawled across the passenger seat, legs up on the dashboard despite Mr. Privet’s strict, hand-written sign that read: Absolutely No Feet on the Vinyl. Ever.

“I’m driving precisely the speed limit,” Box mumbled, checking his speed against the needle and the satnav app he’d rigged to the car’s ancient radio. “And get your feet down! Dad measures the scuff marks.”

“Relax,” Harry drawled, blowing a bubble the size of a small melon. “Your father’s currently preoccupied with whether tinned peaches are the only thing keeping the alien-lizard-people from taking over the council. He’s in no state to check for scuffs.”

“That’s beside the point! This car is a precision instrument!”

“This car is a metal tin can with a funny little engine and a distinct smell of disappointment,” Harry corrected, popping the bubblegum with a sound like a distant gunshot. She then picked a speck of lint off her cherubic cheek and flicked it toward the windshield.

It never hit the glass.

Instead, the speck of lint paused in the air, shimmered with a sickly green light—a burst of Harry’s runaway magic—and instantly grew into a tennis ball-sized globe of thick, sticky, neon-pink bubblegum, pulsating gently. It smacked wetly onto the inside of the windshield, directly in front of Box’s eyes.

“Harry!” Box shrieked, slamming on the brakes. The Bug shuddered violently, narrowly avoiding swerving into a neighbour’s immaculate prize-winning fuchsia bush. “What did you just do?!”

Harry casually peeled another strip of gum. “Just losing a tiny bit of magic, Box. Don’t get your resistor in a twist. I told you, I’ve lost my Magical Marbles. The magic is leaking out whenever I’m bored, and your driving style, Box, is a magical sieve.”

Box was already fumbling with his box of tools, pulling out a multi-meter. “This is a Class 3 Bio-Hazard, Harry! It’s highly volatile and gum-based! I can’t just scrape it off—it’ll void the sound dampening material!”

Harry sighed with exaggerated patience. “Just get us moving. We need to find those marbles before I turn your father’s prized vehicle into a giant, chrome hamster wheel. And don’t worry about the gum.”

She reached over and, instead of touching the luminous pink orb, she merely pointed her finger at it.

The sphere of gum didn’t move. But the entire windshield, along with the steering column, the dashboard, and Box’s large spectacles, suddenly rotated ninety degrees counter-clockwise.

The Beetle was now being driven by Box, who was squinting sideways through the rotated windshield, viewing the world at a slightly dizzying angle. The car was accelerating again, heading straight for the high curb.

“Harry!” Box yelled, fighting the crooked steering wheel. “We’re going to hit the pavement sideways!”

“Oh, lighten up, Box,” Harry giggled, now looking straight ahead through the newly vacated passenger window. “It’s just a new perspective! Now, did you remember to bring the copper wiring for the electro-magical wand?”

Chapter Two: The Architecture of Absurdity

Box Privet’s bedroom was not a place for relaxation; it was a sanctuary of solder fumes and blinking LEDs. Every wall was lined with shelves overflowing with neatly organized bins labeled with terrifying precision: ’7400 Series Logic,’ ‘1/4 W Resistors (Tolerance < 5%),’ and the truly disturbing ‘Mystery Wires (Handle with Gloves).’

On his workbench—a repurposed dining table covered in an anti-static mat—the parts for the Foci-Finder lay assembled. For Box, this was the ultimate engineering challenge: designing a sensor that could detect “magic”—a field he considered purely theoretical, like unicorns or reliable transit schedules.

“Are you sure about this configuration, Box?” Harry asked, draped over a beanbag chair made entirely of recycled circuit boards. She held a damp, crumpled blueprint of the design, which Box had spent three hours perfecting.

Box didn’t look up, his soldering iron whispering against a tiny surface-mount capacitor. “Yes, Harry. The Phase-Shift Oscillator requires a precise resistor to maintain frequency stability. Any deviation and the entire magnetic pulse generator will—”

“Too much math, Box,” Harry interrupted with a sigh. “That little copper coil needs flow. You’ve measured all the angles, but did you check its vibe? It feels rigid. Maybe if you gave it a little… wiggle.”

Box slowly raised his head, his safety goggles magnifying his glare. “If I ‘wiggle’ the core component, Harry, it won’t detect residual quantum entanglement; it will detect sparks and fire. It’s not a wishing well, it’s a circuit board.”

He picked up the final piece of the device: a bent, metallic object with a thick, insulated handle.

“And what is that?” Harry peered at it.

“This,” Box announced, his voice tight with defensive pride, “is the antenna. It’s a custom-built, directional Faraday Loop Antenna, optimized for capturing localized energy field disruptions.” He paused. “I took the whisk from Dad’s new stand mixer.”

Harry clapped her hands. “Excellent! That has great kitchen-magic potential. But it still needs something… wizardy. It’s a wand, not a calculator.”

Box took a deep breath, fighting the urge to explain that a calculator was infinitely more complex than a wand. To appease her, he used a hot glue gun to affix three tiny, flickering blue LEDs to the tip of the whisk-antenna. He then wrapped the handle in iridescent metallic duct tape.

The finished product looked like a kitchen appliance that had been mugged by a glowworm and forced to take a physics class. It featured a flashing circuit board, a digital readout, and the unmistakable head of a stainless steel whisk.

“It is complete,” Box declared, wiping his soldering brow. “The device now measures for a fluctuation caused by the presence of your Foci. We should achieve detection accuracy within a radius.”

Harry slid off the chair, beaming. She snatched the wand and gave it a joyful wave, which Box noted with horror sent the digital readout briefly spiking to an impossible value of .

“Perfect! Let’s go find those marbles before Dad notices the kitchen appliance theft, or before the Beetle’s tires re-inflate.”

Want to read more? Simply click HERE and enjoy.

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2025 in Harry Potter, Harry Rotter

 

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Alice’s Rhyming Return to Wonderland

Alice’s Rhyming Return to Wonderland

 

 

alice in mirrorland, a new alice in wonderland story

A NEW Alice adventure coming here SOON.

 

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Alice in Mirrorland

Alice in Mirrorland

Prologue: The Splintering

It was an ordinary afternoon, which was quite suspicious, for Alice had learned long ago that “ordinary” things have a habit of becoming extraordinary the moment one looks away. She was sitting in the drawing-room, watching the fire mutter to itself in the grate and glancing now and then at the great Looking-Glass above the mantelpiece.

The Looking-Glass had never struck her as trustworthy. For one thing, it was altogether too polished, as though it knew secrets it was unwilling to share. For another, it sometimes showed her reflection doing things she was certain she had not done—like tapping its foot when she was standing still, or frowning when she felt rather jolly.

This afternoon, however, the glass seemed well-behaved. Alice tilted her head; so did Alice-Through-the-Glass. Alice stuck out her tongue (not very politely, but no one was looking); her reflection copied her precisely. “At least you’re obedient today,” she said.

But no sooner had she said this than the Looking-Glass Alice gave the tiniest smirk, as though mocking her. Alice’s heart skipped, and she leaned closer. “That wasn’t me,” she whispered.

The smirk grew.

Then came the crack.

It began as a thin silver line across the surface, like a spiderweb spun at impossible speed. Alice drew back with a cry, for the crack was spreading, branching into a hundred more, until the whole mirror was a maze of glittering shards. And in each shard, her reflection was different.

One Alice looked much older, hair white as frost. Another was cross and scowling. A third was laughing so violently her shoulders shook. Some reflections looked away, some refused to meet her gaze at all.

Alice pressed her hands to her cheeks. “Oh, this is most irregular! Which of you is me?”

The reflections did not answer, but one of them—a solemn-faced Alice with eyes like wet glass—stepped forward. She did not step out of her shard so much as the shard slipped away to let her through, like a curtain parting.

“You’ve taken your turn long enough,” said the Reflection. Her voice was cool, not echoing but hollow, as if spoken inside a bottle. “Now it is ours.”

Before Alice could protest, the mirror burst into a thousand pieces that did not fall, but flew, whirling about her like a storm of knives. She tried to run, but the room had gone, the hearth, the carpet, the walls—all vanished. Only the shards remained, spinning faster and faster until they became a blinding whirlpool of silver light.

Alice gave one last shout—“Oh, I do not approve of this!”—before she was swept off her feet and carried into the storm.

The very last thing she saw was her own reflection, hovering calmly in the air, waving her farewell as if to say, Goodbye, Alice. We’ll take it from here.

To be continued.

 

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Two Rivers: One Green, One Brown

Two Rivers: One Green, One Brown

Two Rivers: One Green, One Brown

 

The land was divided by two rivers, and everyone knew that their waters must never touch. On one side was the Green River, its current shimmering with the laughter of a thousand emeralds. Its water tasted of mint and new leaves, and it carried whispers of spring and the secrets of the forest. The creatures who drank from it—the silver foxes, the songbirds, the deer with antlers like branches—were quick of foot and light of heart. Their fur and feathers held the green shimmer of their home.

On the other side flowed the Brown River. Its waters were deep and rich, the color of wet earth and autumn. It sang a low, humming song of ancient roots and buried memories. The creatures that drank from it—the slow, wise turtles, the burrowing moles, the great brown bears—were strong and steady. Their coats were the color of the river, and they held the patient wisdom of the stones at its bottom.

For centuries, the two rivers flowed side-by-side, parallel but separate. A narrow strip of land, overgrown with thick moss and ancient trees, was all that kept them apart. The animals of the Green River would sometimes look across at their brown-furred counterparts, curious but cautious. The animals of the Brown River would do the same, their steady eyes watching the flash of green across the way.

One day, a terrible drought came. The land grew parched, and the sun beat down with a relentless fury. The Green River, which relied on the soft rains of spring, began to shrink. Its laughter faded into a murmur, and the creatures who depended on it grew weak and weary. The Brown River, which drew its strength from deep, hidden springs, was still full, its song a low thrum of endurance. But the animals of the Brown River watched as their neighbors withered, and their own hearts grew heavy with a sorrow they had never known.

A young emerald fox, its fur dulled by thirst, crept to the edge of its riverbed and stared at the full, flowing Brown River. A large brown bear, its eyes full of concern, watched the fox from the opposite bank. The fox’s need was great, and the bear’s compassion was greater. The bear stretched a massive paw and, with a silent wish, nudged a large, round stone into the water. It landed with a splash that created a ripple, a tiny, determined wave that traveled across the narrow strip of land. The stone, a gift from the bear, created a bridge, a momentary link between the two rivers.

The ripple from the Brown River met the last of the Green River’s flow, and something magical happened. For a moment, where they touched, the water didn’t mix but swirled in a mesmerizing dance of jade and amber. The combined water, a single, intertwined current, sparkled with an energy neither had ever known alone. The creatures who saw it felt a sense of awe.

The fox, seeing the combined water, carefully stepped onto the new, small bridge of rocks and dipped its head, drinking from the water where the two had met. The moment the water touched its tongue, a new energy surged through its body. Its fur shimmered with a vibrancy it had lost, but it was not just green now; a deep, earthy wisdom seemed to flow beneath its skin.

The bear, watching the fox, felt a similar transformation. As the Brown River touched the Green, it no longer carried just the weight of the earth. A new lightness and joy bubbled within it.

From that day forward, the rivers continued to flow side-by-side, but they were no longer strangers. The animals on either side learned to build more stone bridges, to share the water, and to share their stories. The Green River still sang of spring, and the Brown River still hummed of ancient roots. But now, in the shared water, the melodies of joy and wisdom played together, creating a new, vibrant song that flowed through the heart of the land, forever changed.

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2025 in rivers, Short story

 

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Alice tumbled into a fissure

Alice tumbled into a fissure

Alice found the elf by accident, as she found most things: by tumbling into them. This time, it wasn’t a rabbit hole, but a fissure in the earth, hidden by a blanket of moss and the shade of a weeping willow. She landed with a soft thump on a bed of ferns, her gingham dress a bright splash of blue in the dim, green light.

A pair of very, very old eyes blinked at her from the shadows of a gnarled oak. They were the color of faded leaves, and the wrinkles around them were like the rings of a tree. “Well, bless me,” a voice rasped, like dry leaves scuttling across a stone path. “Another one.”

Alice, never one to be flustered for long, brushed a stray leaf from her nose. “Another what?” she asked, her head tilted to the side.

“Another child who has lost their way,” the elf said, emerging from the gloom. He was slight and stooped, with a beard the color of winter frost. His name, he told her, was Fle. “I’ve seen so many. They all come seeking something. A way home, a lost toy, a purpose they’ve misplaced.”

Alice considered this. “I’m not lost, exactly,” she said. “I know where I am. I’m in a sort of underground forest, and you are a very old elf.”

Fle chuckled, a sound like gravel rolling down a hill. “Ah, but you are. Lost in the way that all mortals are. You are looking for an adventure, aren’t you?”

Alice’s eyes widened. “How did you know?”

“I’ve been watching the world for a very long time,” Fle said, settling himself on a mossy root. “And I’ve learned that the ones who fall into the quiet places are the ones who are looking for the loudest stories.” He gestured with a spindly finger to the world around them. “This place is full of them. The tales that have been forgotten. The songs that have been silenced.”

He told her a story of a talking mushroom that wept tears of light, and of a river that flowed with liquid dreams. He spoke of a queen who ruled over a kingdom of clouds, and a knight who wore armor made of moonlight. His words were like a spell, weaving pictures in the air, and Alice listened, her heart thrumming with the rhythm of his ancient tales.

“So, you see,” Fle said, when he had finished, “the world is not just a place to be. It is a place to be discovered. And sometimes, the most wonderful discoveries are found when you fall into the quiet places.”

Alice stood up, her blue dress a beacon in the twilight. “Thank you, Fle,” she said, her voice full of a new kind of wonder. “I think… I think I understand now. It’s not about finding my way back. It’s about finding my way forward.”

Fle smiled, a thousand years of wisdom in the gentle curve of his lips. “Precisely,” he said. And then, as quietly as he had appeared, he faded back into the shadows of the old oak, leaving Alice alone with the rustling ferns and the whispers of a thousand forgotten tales, ready to write her own.

 

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Alice in the Gloaming Glass

Alice in the Gloaming Glass

🕯️ Alice in the Gloaming Glass 🕯️

Through corridors of fractured time,
Alice walked where bells don’t chime.
A moonless sky, a pale-lamped street,
With echoing whispers at her feet.

The Rabbit’s watch had cracked in two,
Its ticking heart now black and blue.
The Hatter’s smile, a ragged seam,
Stretched wide within a broken dream.

The roses bled with ink so dark,
Their thorns aglow with ember’s spark.
The Queen’s red crown was made of bone,
Her scepter carved from hearts of stone.

Alice wandered, calm but wan,
Her shadow twice as long as dawn.
It whispered truths she dared not say,
And tugged her gently far away.

No tea was poured, no riddles told,
Just laughter ringing thin and cold.
The Caterpillar turned to dust,
The Cheshire grinned, then turned to rust.

She reached a glass of iron hue,
That showed not one, but two Alices through.
One smiled sweet, her bow still neat—
The other bared her jagged teeth.

And as the glass began to break,
She knew at last she’d made mistake.
For Wonderland was not a place,
But slumber’s mask upon her face.

She woke in bed, yet not alone…
The grinning girl had followed home.

 

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Alice on Top of the World

Alice on Top of the World

🌟 Alice on Top of the World 🌟

Alice climbed the tower tall,
Above the streets, above it all.
No rabbit late, no ticking clock,
Just breezes dancing ‘round the block.

The rooftops bloomed with flowers bright,
A secret garden kissed by light.
She twirled her skirt, her bow held fast,
And waved at clouds that floated past.

“Hello!” she called to birds in flight,
Who answered back with sheer delight.
The sun on glass made castles gleam,
The city shimmered like a dream.

No Hatter fussed, no Duchess frowned,
No Queen to shout, “Off with her crown!”
Instead she ruled with gentle cheer,
The sky her throne, her realm so near.

Her subjects? Windows, bricks, and bees,
And secret whispers in the breeze.
Her courtiers? Flowers, tall and free,
Her crown? A wreath of greenery.

So Alice laughed, and Alice sang,
Her joy across the skyline rang.
For Wonderland was not below,
But up above, where gardens grow.

And every soul who paused to see,
Felt lighter, brighter, suddenly—
For happiness, when shared, can twirl…
Like Alice, on top of the world.

 

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Alice in Steampunk Dalekland

Chapter One: The Clockwork Rabbit

Alice was minding her own business, which is the most dangerous occupation for a girl of her size and curiosity, because one’s own business has a wicked habit of becoming everyone else’s. She had laid out her tools upon the garden path—one honest screwdriver (which insisted it was quite respectable), a pair of tweezers (which took offense at everything), and a clockwork bird with its beak stuck slightly open as if it had been caught forever in the act of saying “Oh!” The roses wobbled about on their stems in a breeze that smelled faintly of coal and toast, and the daisies gave great, polite sneezes.

“Bless you,” said Alice, for she was a well-brought-up child, even when addressing flowers.

“Steam,” sniffed a daisy, quite dignified. “We are allergic to steam.”

“There is no steam,” said Alice, peering about. “Only sunshine and Sunday. If there were steam, I should see it, and if I saw it, I should surely say it.”

At which a discreet hiss sounded from under the azalea bush, and something somewhere went tick-tock, whirr-clank, hiss-puff!—the exact sort of reply that contradicts a person very rudely without saying a word. The roses coughed. The daisies sneezed again. Alice, being one who could not resist a noise that sounded like an argument between a kettle and a typewriter, put down the screwdriver and knelt in the flowerbed.

“I say,” she called into the dark. “Are you a mouse, a mole, or a machine?”

“None and all,” said a voice like a penny-farthing talking in its sleep. “Stand clear of the exhaust.”

Alice had just time to wonder if an exhaust was something you could trip over when the soil trembled and the bush erupted. Out burst a white blur with brass rivets, whiskers wired like telegraph lines, and a waistcoat stitched with gears that clicked themselves in a most improper fashion. It was the White Rabbit—only more so, as if someone had wound him up to a higher setting.

“You’re late!” he squeaked, and a valve near his collar let off an indignant toot. “Horribly, dreadfully, scandalously late!”

“For what?” said Alice, who did not at all like being told about her lateness, especially by a creature whose ears appeared to be tuned to the Foreign Stations.

“For the Invasion Tea, of course!” He tapped his breast, where a pocket watch had given up being merely a pocket watch and bolted itself to his ribs with a handsome row of screws. “The minutes are marching without permission! The seconds have staged a revolt! The hour has barricaded itself behind a samovar! Oh, oh!” He patted himself down as if he might find a spare minute in his pockets. “No time! Even less than that! Negative time!”

Do you want to find out what is negative time? Simply click on thje link, below, and enjoy.

https://thecrazymadwriter.com/alice-in-wonderland-stories/alice-in-steampunk-dalekland/

 

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The Steampunk of Ballykillduff

The Steampunk of Ballykillduff

In Ballykillduff, where the bog-cottons grow,
And tractors move slower than clouds ever go,
There rumbles a marvel of brasswork and puff:
The whistling contraption of Ballykillduff.

Its chimney-stack belches a lavender steam,
Its pistons clank onwards like parts of a dream,
The gears all turn sideways, the wheels spin askew,
And no one can say what it’s meant to do.

The smith in his apron declares with a cough,
“It brews tea at dawn, and it scares crows right off!
It mends broken fences, it churns up the peat,
And plays merry jigs with mechanical feet!”

The priest shook his head and the postman grew pale,
The barber got tangled in coppery rail,
The schoolchildren cheered as it huffed down the lane,
Whistling out sermons in high-tin refrain.

At night by the pub, when the fiddles strike up,
It gulps down the porter from pint glass or cup,
Then sings out in whistles, all clattering gruff—
The wild steampunk wonder of Ballykillduff!

And though it may rattle, and though it may groan,
And sometimes forgets the way home of its own,
The villagers say, with a fond sort of pride:
“It’s daft as a donkey—but ours to ride!”

 

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Sunbury on Thames a long time ago

Prologue: The Village by the River

When I close my eyes and think of childhood, it is Sunbury-on-Thames that comes first to mind. Not the Sunbury of today, with its busy roads and rows of new houses, but the Sunbury of the 1960s — smaller, gentler, and more like a village than a suburb. It was a place where the Thames curved lazily past meadows and willows, where church bells drifted across the rooftops on Sunday mornings, and where the whole world seemed contained within a few familiar streets.

Life was simpler then, though we didn’t know it at the time. Neighbours leaned over fences to exchange gossip. Children dashed in and out of each other’s houses as though every home were their own. The corner shop, with its rows of glass jars, seemed to contain more treasure than any palace. Summers stretched out in golden haze, the river glittering at the heart of it all. Winters were marked by frosted windows, steaming coats, and the smell of coal fires in the evening air.

To be a child in Sunbury was to live in a small but endlessly expanding universe. The High Street was our city, the Green our stadium, the towpath our frontier. Each day offered new discoveries — a den to be built, a tree to be climbed, a rumour to be tested. We believed in ghosts at the Mansion, in the magic of lucky bags, in the possibility that our makeshift rafts might one day carry us as far as London.

Most of all, we belonged. Belonged to the street, the school, the river, and to each other. We were held in place by the rhythms of bells, the voices of neighbours, and the certainty that however far we roamed, Sunbury would be waiting when we came back.

Looking back now, I see how small it all was — a handful of streets, a stretch of river, a scattering of people. But to us it was vast, a whole world unfolding at our feet. And in memory, it remains vast still: golden, glowing, a village by the river where childhood stretched as wide as the sky.

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Memories of Sunbury on Thames

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2025 in 1960s, 1965

 

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