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🎵 The Ballykillduff Jungle Garden Song 🎵

(to be sung in a rollicking, jig-like rhythm — half folk tune, half comedy chorus)

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Verse 1

I planted bananas in Ballykillduff,
But the frost on the lane was a little too rough.
One blew to Tullow, the other went flat,
And the last ran away with me gardening hat!

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Chorus

🎶 Oh the Ballykillduff jungle, it’s wilder each day,
The gunnera’s growing, it’s blocking the way!
The pampas is slashing, the bamboo won’t stop,
And the neighbours all think I’ve gone clean off me top! 🎶

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Verse 2

Me cordyline snapped like a match in the breeze,
The palm tree lies sideways, it’s taking its ease.
The miscanthus is taller than five garden sheds,
And the postman got lost — hasn’t posted since Ed’s!

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Chorus

🎶 In the Ballykillduff jungle, the madness won’t end,
I water the weeds like they’re me dearest friend.
The neighbours all mutter, the cows stop to stare,
But the Crazymad Writer just don’t seem to care! 🎶

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Verse 3

The bamboo’s a demon, it’s cracking the tiles,
It’s creeping through kitchens for miles upon miles.
And Mrs O’Driscoll declared with a shout:
“Your lettuce is monstrous, it’s shutting me out!”

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Final Chorus (big finish)

🎶 Oh the Ballykillduff jungle, it’s leafy and loud,
I’ve made Carlow’s garden the maddest around.
So bring your machete, your boots and your hat,
And visit the jungle, it’s a whole lot of craic! 🎶