Doctor Poo and the Loofah that Listens

Doctor Poo and the Loofah that Listens

(He knows what you did in the bath last summer.)

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Somewhere in a dark corner of the Towel Nebula, something ancient had begun to stir.

It was soft.
It was spongy.
And it remembered everything.

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Bath-Time Confessionals

Back on Earth, bathers had begun to whisper of strange happenings.

A woman in Kent claimed her loofah giggled when she reached for it.

A man in Swansea swore his sponge whispered, “You missed a bit.”

And in Wolverhampton, a teenager ran screaming from the bathroom when his shower puff muttered, “Tell your mother the truth, Gary.”

The Loofah that Listens had awoken.

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A Scent of Suspicion

Doctor Poo was just finishing a relaxing soak in Scented Dimension 9 when he noticed his own loofah giving him judgmental looks.

“Why do you scrub behind your ears twice, but never your elbows?” it asked, in a voice suspiciously like Ian McKellen’s.

With a scream and a splash, Doctor Poo leapt from the bath, wrapped himself in his rainbow scarf, and dove headfirst into the Time Toilet.

“I haven’t felt exfoliating evil like this since the Great Bubble Bath Betrayal,” he muttered. “The Loofah Council must be reassembled.”

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The Secret of the Soak Temple

Deep within the Soak Temple of Sud-Zaroth, located in the long-lost Bubble Isles of Cleansia, Doctor Poo uncovered the horrifying truth.

The Loofah that Listens was an ancient entity, cursed by the gods of personal hygiene to remember every single bath ever taken.

It knew what you scrubbed, what you missed, and what you sang when you thought no one could hear.

Now, it was blackmailing the universe.

“Confess your bath-time sins,” it boomed through bathroom vents galaxy-wide, “or I’ll leak the footage to the Rub-a-Dub Tribunal.”

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Scrubbing the Truth

With help from:

• Sister Squeegee, nun-turned-damp-assassin
• Bathtub Jones, adventurer and tap-tightener
• and a reformed villain now working as a towel therapist,

Doctor Poo launched a counterattack using a bar of soap so honest it made people weep.

The final battle took place in a giant, ancient tub orbiting a rogue loofah moon.

The Loofah swelled to monstrous size, shouting everyone’s embarrassing secrets:

“MRS BINKS! YOU SANG ‘I WILL SURVIVE’ INTO THE SHOWERHEAD IN 1994!”
“LORD GRUBBINGTON! YOU WORE A SWIMSUIT IN THE BATH TWICE!”

Doctor Poo aimed his sonic rubber ducky.

POP!

The Loofah deflated.

A final sigh escaped it: “You… missed a spot…”

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After the Rinse

The universe breathed a clean sigh of relief.

Bathers returned to their tubs.

Doctor Poo vanished into the Time Toilet, leaving only a damp ring of mystery behind.

But somewhere, deep in a forgotten bathhouse…

A rogue flannel twitched.

It had heard everything.

Coming Soon…

Doctor Poo and the Sink of Secrets
Not everything that gurgles is harmless…

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