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Doctor Poo and the Shower Curtain of Chaos

Doctor Poo and the Shower Curtain of Chaos

Doctor Poo and the Shower Curtain of Chaos

It began on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday, in a perfectly ordinary shower.

Well — almost ordinary.

Mrs Blunderwaddle, now a part-time space-warrior and full-time amateur baker, was taking her morning rinse in the company of her new eco-friendly, self-moisturising Shower Curtain 9000.

It was supposed to be gentle. It was supposed to be whisper-soft and cucumber-scented.

It was not supposed to wrap itself around her, scream in binary, and vanish into a steaming hole in the space-time bathroom tile.

The Curtain Awakens

Deep beneath the crust of a forgotten planet known only as Bathmatron, the Shower Curtain of Chaos had awoken.

Once the proud veil of the Gods of Hygiene, it had been cursed with static cling after the Great Conditioner War of ’76.

Now it drifted from dimension to dimension, latching itself onto unsuspecting bathers, feeding off awkwardness and slippery missteps.

Its goal? Total domination of the Moist Realms.

Its method? Wrapping itself around every unsuspecting leg in existence and whispering, “Oops, sorry,” forever.

Enter Doctor Poo

“A sentient shower curtain?” muttered Doctor Poo as he zipped up his trousers and sprinted into the Time Toilet, still dripping from an unfortunate encounter with a rogue sinkhole in the 18th century.

He knew the signs.

Random soap explosions.

Unruly fabric in corners of the universe that had no curtains.

The sound of Enya echoing from plugholes.

“Yes,” he growled. “It’s back.”

Battle on Bathmatron

With the help of:

  • Captain Bubblebeard, a pirate who sailed on foam,
  • Scrubsy, a bath sponge with anger issues,
  • and a reluctant Mr Blunderwaddle in his tartan pyjamas,

Doctor Poo descended into the foul-smelling lair of the Shower Curtain.

There it stood. Billowing. Gigantic. Conditioned.

THE SHOWER CURTAIN OF CHAOS.

It shrieked in fifty languages and slapped them all across the face.

Doctor Poo knew what he had to do.

He slowly peeled off his scarf, soaked it in Head & Shoulders, and whispered the sacred chant:

“Lather, rinse… REPEAT!”

The scarf flew.

It wrapped the Curtain.

A blinding flash of lemon zest and static energy—

And suddenly… silence.

Postscript from the Loo

Back on Earth, things returned to normal.

Mrs Blunderwaddle replaced the shower curtain with a beaded door and a sponge named Kevin.

Doctor Poo flew away once more, bound for the next unspeakable sanitation-related threat.

But not before leaving a new warning in the tub:

“Beware the Loofah that Listens. Coming soon…”

 

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