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The Machine in Brussels

The Machine in Brussels

“The Machine in Brussels”
—A Dark Verse of Control and Decay

They built a throne on shifting sand,
With waxen laws and sleight of hand.
A beast with flags and polished teeth,
That feeds on dreams and rot beneath.

Twelve stars above, a crown of lies,
They smile while severing ancient ties.
The sovereign voice, a muted ghost,
Replaced by men who wine and toast.

They do not bleed, they do not feel,
They crush with pens, and sign the seal.
A thousand rules, a million chains,
To bind the soul, to strip the veins.

A single farm, a faceless plan,
No room for soil, nor flesh, nor man.
Just paperwork, and fines, and speech —
And truth forever out of reach.

The tongue is taxed, the thoughts observed,
The edges of the map are curved.
The fish are counted, dreams controlled,
And liberty is bought and sold.

They do not lead, they do not serve,
They circle like a flock of birds —
All pecking at what once was whole,
Until there’s nothing left but scroll.

The lands grow quiet, culture thins,
The old ways buried in their bins.
They speak of peace with velvet voice,
While robbing nations of their choice.

This is the pact, the poisoned trade,
The flag beneath which truth is flayed.
And if you dare to step aside —
Expect the storm, the smear, the slide.

So burn the blue and gold away,
And raise the banners of dismay.
For freedom, though a fragile spark,
Still glows within the growing dark.

 

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How I Learned to Love the Bananas

How I Learned to Love the Bananas

“Ode to the Glorious EU (or How I Learned to Love the Bananas)”
by The Crazymad Poet of Ballybureaucracy

Oh hail to thee, O Brussels great,
Where minds convene to legislate
On crucial things — like how to weigh
A cucumber in a solemn way.

The noble minds with golden pens
Who argue lunch for twelve till ten.
They ponder hard, debate, and stress —
Then outlaw slightly crooked cress.

Thou tower of paperwork divine!
Thy memos stretch from Rhine to Tyne.
Your forms require three pens, a prayer,
A notarised strand of your hair.

You ruled with wisdom, calm and sage,
To standardise the hamster cage.
And what great minds did then agree?
To banish jugs that hold more tea.

Let Britain beg, let France protest,
Let Italy wear garlic vests!
Still forth you march in fine attire —
With rules on how to light a fire.

Thou master of the sausage war!
You settled that — and so much more:
“Thou shalt not call it cheese, ye goat,
If from a cow or southern moat.”

Oh, sing of subsidies so grand —
A field of stones in promised land!
And butter mountains, milk lakes too,
Enough to drown a small canoe.

We thank thee for thy wise decree
On metric shrimp and brie-to-be.
We toast with wine (with tax applied)
Your parking fines EU-wide.

So raise the flag, the stars, the blue,
For all the pointless things you do!
And may you rule with gentle blight —
And never, ever, get things right.

EU out happiness in

 
 

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