Viscous’s Velvety Varnish
Front Matter
To the glue-sniffing goblins of the Whispering Woods (and to my beta readers, who
suffered through countless drafts of this sticky manuscript without losing their minds
– or their sanity. You are truly the glue that held this whole thing together, even if it
was more like super-glue-strong epoxy than anything else). This book is dedicated to
you, in all your wonderfully weird and surprisingly resilient glory. Without the tireless
efforts of those minuscule, magic-wielding creatures of adhesive obsession, and the
unwavering support of my trusty critique partners (especially the one who suggested
adding more talking badgers—I still can’t believe it worked!), this adventure would
have never seen the light of day. It’s a testament to the power of collaboration, and
the fact that sometimes, the stickiest situations lead to the most unexpectedly
delightful outcomes.
This is also dedicated to anyone who has ever stared at a bizarre, mysterious leaflet
with suspicion, only to find themselves embroiled in an adventure beyond their
wildest imagination – whether that involved enchanted broomsticks or just an
unusually persistent package delivery. To all those who believe in the power of
obscure alchemic texts, in the magic of friendship (even when one friend is a bookish
conspiracy theorist and the other is a surprisingly gentle athlete), and in the
transformative power of really, really good glue (the non-life-force-powered kind, of
course). This one’s for you.
May your journeys always be filled with laughter, a healthy dose of skepticism
(especially when dealing with Mad Scientists with questionable mustaches), and
enough plot twists to keep you on the edge of your seats. May you never
underestimate the power of a well-placed badger pun. And most importantly, may
your adventures always end with less stickiness than Mr. Viscous’s disastrous final
creation – unless, of course, you’re a glue-loving goblin, in which case, carry on.
A special dedication goes out to all the horses who, despite the fictional threats to
their life force, gracefully hoofed their way into this story. They are the true heroes of
this epic tale of glue and magic, symbols of strength and resilience. This book
acknowledges the fictional, yet strangely compelling, concept of harnessing equine
energy for adhesive purposes and is in no way a recommendation for attempting such
a practice. Believe me, the consequences are way stickier than you could ever
imagine.
mad mr viscous
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 