RSS

Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer

Unknown's avatar

About The Crazymad Writer

FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, that's what I say, FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, courtesy of ME, The Crazymad Writer. Stories for children and young at heart adults. And remember, my eBooks are FREE FREE FREE!

A Christmas Alice in Wonderland Story

A Christmas Alice in Wonderland Story

First, she discovered Wonderland…

Then she slipped through that fascinating Looking Glass…

Now, she’s on Top of the World…

THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF A GIRL NAMED ALICE

Click HERE to purchase and download this eBook for your PC, tablet, Kindle or other device

Ever since I began writing, I wanted to create something special, a story to capture the hearts, minds and, above all, imagination of you, the readers, I hope that, in penning this story, about the continuing adventures of a girl named Alice, I might, just might have achieved this ambition.

**************************

AN EXCERPT

It was many years later when Alice had her next adventure, and whilst she was quite surprised to be having one at all, after the passing of so many years, she was even more surprised to see that she was a child again, no older than when she had first entered Wonderland and slipped through that fascinating Looking Glass.

“How curious,” she whispered, trying to recall the child she had once been.

“You took your time getting here,” said the White Rabbit who suddenly appeared in front of her.

“I beg your pardon?” Alice replied, remembering how rude he could be, if he felt so inclined.

 “I said you took your time getting here. You should have been here fourteen years ago,” the Rabbit huffed indignantly as he began hopping quickly away from Alice.

“But,” Alice spluttered, running after him, “I have no idea how I arrived, let alone why I am so late!”

“We accept no ifs or buts, here – you should know that by now,” said the Rabbit, as he opened a door which had appeared as suddenly as he. Stepping through, he said, “Hurry up, please don’t dawdle.”

As she followed him through the doorway, trying her to keep up with the fast-hopping Rabbit, Alice surmised that he must have got out his bed on the wrong side, this morning, to be so grumpy on so wonderful a day. And it really was a wonderful day, with a warm sun shining brightly upon them.

‘I wonder where I might possibly be?’ thought Alice, as she admired the pink forget-me-nots skirting a winding path before her.   “Am I in Wonderland?” she asked, just as another door, the same as the first one, appeared.

Giving Alice a most peculiar look, the Rabbit said, “Of course we are not in Wonderland.”  Opening the door, he told her, “We are on the top of the world.” Having said that, he scurried off, hopping down another winding path, also bordered by pink forget-me-nots.

“The top of the world?” Alice cried out, quite in surprise. “Why, that’s impossible!”

The Rabbit stopped hopping. Turning around, facing Alice, he said, “Then how can you be here, if it’s impossible?”

Flummoxed by the Rabbit’s question, Alice found herself struggling to find a reply. The only thing she was able to come up with was, “I bet you are mad!”

“That all depends,” the Rabbit replied quite matter-of-factly.

“It all depends on what?”

“On whether you mean mad or mad.”

“That’s silly,” said Alice. “They both mean the very same thing.”

“If you were mad number one,” said the White Rabbit, with full conviction of the soundness of his case, “and someone happened to tell you that you were mad number two, you might be very mad indeed, at so fundamental a mistake.”

“But I’m not mad!” Alice insisted, becoming ever more frustrated at so silly a conversation.

“How do you know that you aren’t mad,” asked the Rabbit, who appeared to be enjoying flummoxing Alice, so “when you can’t tell the difference between mad number one and mad number two, I might ask?”

“I just know that I’m not mad!” Alice insisted, stamping her foot, displaying her annoyance at what she considered was questionable logic. Changing the subject, from her possible madness or claimed sanity, Alice informed the Rabbit that another door had appeared and was awaiting his attention.

Turning round, the White Rabbit took hold of the handle and tried to open the door, but it remained stubbornly shut.

“Might I try?” Alice asked, feeling very un-mad. Standing away from the door, the White Rabbit said nothing, but his pink, beady eyes watched her intently.

The door opened easily for Alice. Feeling vindicated, she said, “Could a mad person have done that?” Without waiting for a reply, she stepped through the doorway and fell into a gaping hole on the far side.

“No, they mightn’t,” said the Rabbit, laughing as she disappeared into the hole. “But would they have fallen down there?” Laughing again, he hopped through doorway and into the hole, following Alice…

CONTD

*************************

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Greedy Bankers

Greedy Bankers (banksters)

Bankers, greedy bankers,

Hoist them up high,

Burn them on bonfires,

For all of their lies,

Dance around the bonfires,

Glory in their pain,

And when you have done it,

Do it again!

************************

Buy this eBook today!

Click HERE to purchase this eBook via PayPal

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 26, 2013 in Horror, humor, humour, Ireland

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

We Three Beetles

A excerpt from my book The Tales of Beetle About

We three beetles, so hungry we are,

Bearing six legs, we travel so far,

Hedge and garden,

Field and grassland,

Searching for caterpillars.

**************** 

Oh, Caterpillars juicy, caterpillars nice,

Tempting us beetles through the night,

Creeping, seeking, still proceeding,

Searching for that perfect bite.

 ****************

Beetles are king of insects, we are

Black on black, our royal charter,

Eating ever, ceasing never,

Searching for caterpillars.

****************

Oh, Caterpillars juicy, caterpillars nice,

Tempting us beetles through the night,

Creeping, seeking, still proceeding,

Searching for the perfect bite.

****************

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Skytrain

Skytrain

Skytrain, high train, charging, charging,

Fly train – my train; harken, harken,

To its whistle, blowing, blowing,

Life’s so fast; it’s going, going,

Ebbing from our bodies, groaning,

As Time’s cold scythe cuts through the gloaming

*****

Listen, listen; I hear it calling,

Ignore it at your peril – warning!

Before your days are gone and over,

Join me in this bright sky rover

**********

Across the heavens we’ll travel, listening,

To the sounds of eternity, whispering,

Within our hearts, our chi resplendent,

At one with God, in peace, never ending.

*******************

stories for children

Hello, I am just hanging around here, hoping something will happen.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 25, 2013 in poems

 

Tags: , , ,

I am Man

I am man,

Born of woman; man,

I stand for all that is right,

I am man,

I fight injustice and bias,

I am man,

I will NEVER allow Neanderthals to get the upper hand,

For I am man, of woman, with woman, against Neanderthal man.

******************

 

 

Tags: , ,

Christmas fun reading, for sure

Stories for children and young at heart adults.

Christmas fun reading, for sure

Tales of the Extraordinary,  

The Witches,  

Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World (it’s a Christmas story),  

HARRY ROTTER (she has lost her Magical Marbles),  

Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad Mr Viscous,  

Slug Talk,  

The Tales of Beetle About,  

Tales of Childhood, volumes 1 and 2,  

Horrible Horace,  

Stories for Boys,  

The Three Faerie Sisters,  

Christmas: A Carol Betwixt,  

The Fog,  

Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff,  

Stewed Rhymes,  

A Beer in a Burger Bar,  

And a whole lot MORE.

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Twas the Night before Christmas

Twas the Night before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

 ******

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,

  ******

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

  ******

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a magical sleigh, and eight wondrous reindeer,

 ******

With a smiling old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name

 ******

“Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

  ******

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

 ******

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

  ******

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

 ******

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

  ******

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

  ******

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

  ******

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

  ******

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!”

 ******

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

I am a Troll and I live in a hole

I am a Troll and I live in a hole

I’m not a bat or a rat or a cat,
I’m not a gnu or a kangaroo,
I’m not a goose or a moose on the loose,
I am a troll and I live in a hole.
********************
I’m not a cow or a chow or a sow,
I’m not a snake or a hake or a drake,
I’m not a flea or a wee chimpanzee,
I am a troll and I live in a hole.
********************
Yarg yarg, quarck quarck, fried boiled or roast,
You’re the slick chick I dig the most ,
I’m not a ram or a clam or a lamb,
I’m not a hog or a frog or a dog,
I’m not a bus or a hip-potomus,
I am a troll and I live in a hole.
********************
Yarg yarg, quarck quarck, fried boiled or roast,
You’re the slick chick I dig the most,
I’m not a ram or a clam or a lamb,
I’m not a hog or a frog or a dog,
I’m not a bus or a hip-potomus,
I am a troll and I live in a hole.
I am a troll and I live in a hole.
********************

eBooks for kids, only 99 cents each.
Visit http://www.crazymadwriter.com

 

Tags: , , , ,

To Boldly Go

To Boldly Go

To boldly go where no man has gone,

Our intrepid explorers fight the Klingons,

They battles with foes and forces unknown,

Kirk and his crew are so far from home.

 ******************

Warping past Dwarfs as red as can be,

Streaking through space, and all for the free,

The freedom of choice, for you and for me,

Our intrepid explorers go forward boldly.

 ******************

Out into the blackness, the fear and the dread,

Kirk and his crew by passion are led,

Explorers by nature, fighters by chance,

Man and machine go boldly ever on.

******************

It was a voyage of years, a mission of five,

That’s all was intended, I tell you no lie,

But forty years later they’re still forging on,

Onwards and upwards boldly going on.

Faster and faster towards a dawn.

******************

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Oh, well… (ba-NANA-land)

Oh, well… (ba-NANA-land)

Monday morning; full of woe,

The weekend’s gone; it’s so far to go,

Until the next one, when I can live again,

Oh, well, I suppose it’s better than living in ba-NANA-land.

*****************************

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 25, 2013 in humor, humour, Ireland, poems

 

Tags: , , ,