I am the Minister for Water, the Minister I am,
The Minister for Water for all of Ireland,
This fair and green county suffering such pain,
A shortage of water despite so much rain.
*
The snow it has gone, replaced by a flood,
Threatening to cover us under inches of mud,
But that’s not my care, not part of my tack,
I am the Minister for Water, not mud; it’s a fact.
*
Leave me alone; free to get on with my job,
Saving the planet while making a few bob,
Lining my nest before my time it has gone,
When I’m voted out of office having done nothing wrong.
Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer
Irish water charges has the country boiling over with anger
Dunking the Mouse

Dunking the Mouse, Oh, Dunking the Mouse,
What can be better than dunking the Mouse?
Be it with a fine friend like the Rabbit, so stout,
Or on my old lonesome, I love dunking the Mouse.
*
I open the pot and stick his head in,
And before he’s awoken he’s half the way in.
With Rabbit a-helping, we finish the job,
Then put the lid on, though Mouse is beginning to sob.
*
Oh please let me out, he implore us, so meek,
But why should we do that when the tea tastes so sweet?
Oh give me a cup of that heavenly brew,
Says Rabbit to me, and a jam tart for you.
*
So I pour out two cups and we sit down anew,
With the tea and the tarts – and with Mouse in the brew,
Until Alice strolls by, and unsettles our ruse,
Saving Mouse from his fate and us from the noose.
*****
A NEW Alice in Wonderland story
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Double, double toil and trouble
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
Writer crazy, madman he,
In the maelstrom boil with glee.
*
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Author’s charm and writer’s sting,
Wizard sage; wolf dog sing.
*
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
Read it with your glowering brood,
Read if fast, quick and good.
Pumpkin Heads are Coming to Town
Oh, you’d better not shriek
You’d better not groan
You’d better not howl
You’d better not moan
Pumpkin Heads are coming to town.
*
They’re making a list of those they meet
Those who will get tricks
And those who deserve treats
Pumpkin Heads are coming to town.
*
They’re searching every pumpkin patch
Haunted houses far and near
To see if you’ve been spreading gloom
Or bringing lots of cheer.
*
Oh, you’d better not shriek
You’d better not groan
You’d better not howl
You’d better not moan
Pumpkin heads are coming to town.
Call of the Kindred
Call of the Kindred
Come to me, little mortal
I can bring you to heaven’s portal
There’ll be no sorrow, there’ll be no pain
Feelings of joy will fill your brain
*
Come to me, sweet human thing
Give me your heart and I’ll make it sing
Forget your fears, leave them behind
Forget the troubles of your kind
Come to me… yes, that’s right
Now hold still, it’s no good to fight
I’ll take your blood, and leave you dying
Didn’t you realise I could be lying?
Solinquair, 1996






