The First Pipe.



Alice in the Magical Square of Tartaria
Ballykillduff is a village that thinks quietly.
Lanes hesitate. Grass leans when it should not. Things happen just slightly to the side of where they are supposed to be. Alice has lived there long enough to know this, and just long enough not to question it.
So when a crease appears in the air behind the Old Creamery, and a place called Tartaria slips sideways into existence, Alice is the only one who notices — and the only one who understands that some places survive by being remembered badly.
Tartaria is a civilisation that vanished by behaving too well. Now it endures in a state of almost compound memory: misremembered, misfiled, and dangerously unfinished. Maps argue. Councils disagree. Scholars from Outside begin asking sensible questions — the most dangerous kind of all.
As Alice moves between Ballykillduff and Tartaria, she discovers that memory is not passive, certainty is a trap, and being understood may be far worse than being forgotten. Worse still, Tartaria begins to misremember her.
To save both worlds, Alice must learn how to remember wrongly on purpose — without doing it too well.
Alice in Ballykillduff and the Almost-Remembered Tartaria is a whimsical, quietly unsettling fantasy in the tradition of Lewis Carroll: a story about places that think, truths that refuse to settle, and the peculiar courage it takes to remain unfinished.
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The tea is poured from empty air,
With whiskers twitching in despair!
The clock has struck a purple grin,
Let the nonsense now begin!
A rabbit in a ruff of lace,
With panic written on his face,
Drinks from a cup of floral bone,
While sitting on a velvet throne.
The Hatter grins a jagged tooth,
He’s quite forgotten every truth!
He offers cakes of dust and light,
To keep the morning out of sight.
Poor Alice sits in quiet dread,
While floating teapots soar o’erhead.
The sky is full of spinning gears,
And echoes of a thousand years!
The Cat is but a giant smile,
That stretches for a country mile.
He’s here and there and gone again,
The king of every madman’s pen!
So gulp the steam and eat the spoon,
Beneath the grinning, cosmic moon!
For once you’ve joined this tea-time host,
You’re nothing but a buttered ghost!

A tick, a tock, a pocket watch,
A sky of ink and butterscotch!
The rabbit runs on legs of light,
To catch the tail of noon-at-night!
The petals scream a silent tune,
Beneath a pink and pulsing moon.
Don’t drink the tea, it’s full of stars,
And tiny, golden handle-bars!
My shadow’s gone to fetch the mail,
In a thimble-boat with a paper sail.
The mushrooms groan and start to sneeze,
While logic buckles at the knees!
So tip your cap to the empty chair,
And weave some chaos through your hair!
For when the rabbit rings the bell,
There’s simply nothing left to tell!

A swirl of logic, backwards-bound,
Where feet are lost and skies are found!
The tea is cold, the clock is dead,
With buttered toast inside my head!
The blossoms roar a petal-song,
Where right is right and wrong is long.
I’ve painted all the lilies green,
And danced with ghosts I’ve never seen!
The stars are buttons on a vest,
The moon is put to final rest.
A sneeze of glitter, a cough of gold,
A story that can’t quite be told!
So pour the wine that isn’t there,
And comb the static from your hair!
For in this wild and dizzy place,
There’s not a lick of time or space!

Oh, bother and bluster, and cogs in the head!
My teacup is empty, my sanity fled!
A tick-tock of madness, a dizzying spin,
Where is the joy, where does chaos begin?
My eyes are like saucers, my smile’s quite askew,
A day without logic, eternally new!
The steam from my brew whispers secrets untold,
Of moments quite frantic, of stories too bold!
My hat, it’s a shambles, much like my own mind,
With patches of nonsense, for all humankind!
The gears in the ether, they clatter and chime,
Is it teatime forever, or just for a time?
A jumble of trinkets, and teabags that fly,
A world in a muddle, beneath a mad sky!
Though tired and tattered, my spirit still gleams,
For the maddest of thoughts fuel the wildest of dreams!

In realms of whimsy, softly spun,
A maiden drifts beneath a sun
Of petals grand, a blush-pink bloom,
Dispelling shadows, chasing gloom.
Her gown of blue, a gentle wave,
As golden tresses brightly rave
With blooms and beads, a floral crown,
She floats where dreams are upside-down.
Around her dance, in vibrant hue,
White-capped toadstools, fresh with dew.
Bright butterflies with wings so grand,
Flit through this most enchanted land.
And tiny birds, with wings so clear,
Whisper secrets to her ear.
A cosmic swirl, a starry night,
Embraces her in wondrous light.
A world of magic, soft and deep,
Where every fancy she can keep.
With serene gaze, she looks above,
Lost in a dream of endless love.
