A bit late for Friday funnies, as its now the early hours of Saturday here in Australia. Thought I would share some classic Hoges comedy. Is bicycle riding really dangerous? Watch and see.
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Irish water charges has the country boiling over with anger
I am the Minister for Water, the Minister I am,
The Minister for Water for all of Ireland,
This fair and green county suffering such pain,
A shortage of water despite so much rain.
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The snow it has gone, replaced by a flood,
Threatening to cover us under inches of mud,
But that’s not my care, not part of my tack,
I am the Minister for Water, not mud; it’s a fact.
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Leave me alone; free to get on with my job,
Saving the planet while making a few bob,
Lining my nest before my time it has gone,
When I’m voted out of office having done nothing wrong.
We are the ninety-nine percent
♫♪♫ People power will OUT in the end,
We are the ninety-nine percent,
We call on our leaders to follow our lead,
Support what’s right, not bankers greed.
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People power will TRIUMPH in the end,
We are the ninety-nine percent,
Know you this all men of greed,
People power will conquer your greed.
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People power will PREVAIL in the end,
We are the ninety-nine percent,
We WILL have our way; we WILL have our day,
People power WILL NOT go away. ♫♪♫
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To Boldly Go
To Boldly Go
To boldly go where no man has gone,
Our intrepid explorers fight the Klingons,
They battles with foes and forces unknown,
Kirk and his crew are so far from home.
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Warping past Dwarfs as red as can be,
Streaking through space, and all for the free,
The freedom of choice, for you and for me,
Our intrepid explorers go forward boldly.
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Out into the blackness, the fear and the dread,
Kirk and his crew by passion are led,
Explorers by nature, fighters by chance,
Man and machine go boldly ever on.
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It was a voyage of years, a mission of five,
That’s all was intended, I tell you no lie,
More than forty years later they’re still forging on,
Onwards and upwards, to a new dawn.
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Stories for children and young at heart adults,
courtesy of The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH!
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Aliens landed in Ballykillduff
Dating Tips from the Animal Kingdom
I thought you might enjoy reading this.
Got a hot date?
If it’s with a human, you’ll probably have to rely on the classic wooing strategies: flowers, chocolates, dinner and dancing, smelling good, etc.
But in the animal kingdom, courtship often has a different flavor. I combed back through the archives of New Scientist’s Zoologger, a weekly column about extraordinary animals, and turned up some unusual techniques that other creatures use to seduce their chosen mate.
Bugs stab their sweethearts in the stomach.
Male bed bugs and bat bugs use sharp penises to stab their partners in the abdomen and deliver sperm directly into the blood. Bean weevils, who have huge and spiny penises, also lacerate their mates during sex.
Koalas use a sexy voice.
Koalas bellow to attractive females in an unusually deep voice. Their mating song, which sounds “more like a series of burps and snores,” is 20 times lower than scientists would expect the little…
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I’m not a bat or a rat or a cat
I’m not a bat or a rat or a cat,
I’m not a gnu or a kangaroo,
I’m not a goose or a moose on the loose,
I am a troll and I live in a hole.
.
I’m not a cow or a chow or a sow,
I’m not a snake or a hake or a drake,
I’m not a flea or a wee chimpanzee,
I am a mole and I live in a hole.
.
Yarg yarg, quarck quarck, fried boiled or roast,
You’re the slick chick I dig the most ,
I’m not a ram or a clam or a lamb,
I’m not a hog or a frog or a dog,
I’m not a bus or a hip-potomus,
I am a mole and I live in a hole.
.
Yarg yarg, quarck quarck, fried boiled or roast,
You’re the slick chick I dig the most,
I’m not a ram or a clam or a lamb,
I’m not a hog or a frog or a dog,
I’m not a bus or a hip-potomus,
I am a mole and I live in a hole.
I am a mole and I live in a hole.
…
I don’t care WHAT you call me
as long as you enjoy reading my stories
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