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Sparky Parents

Sparky Parents

I will tell you this, from me to you,
To rear good children all that you need do,
Is be good parents, be shining bright,
The spark of their dreams and the light of their lives.
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While they are young and when everything’s new,
Be their best friend, and they with you,
For childhood is fleeting and before very long,
They will have departed the nest and left you alone,
So pull up a blanket lay under the stars,
And dream both together of pipes, cloaks and cars.

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Posted by on November 4, 2013 in Stories for children

 

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Giggle my Boots

Giggle my boots, gaggle my hat,

Goggle my shirtsleeves and fraggle that cat.

I am friggled with laughter, for I know that it’s true,

That you really do love me, not Johnny Lazoo.

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You see, Johnny Lazoo, a man of some strength,

Wanted to court you, wanted to bend,

Your ear with his stories, your eye with his looks,

But you never gave him as much as a look.
 

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The day that you said, ‘Yes, I’ll marry you, I will,’

Was the happiest day of my life; it was brill,

To think that you chose me over Johnny Lazoo,

Makes me friggle with laughter, knowing it’s true.
 

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Before I head off with my bride and my life,

I will give you this piece of excellent advice.

If you are planning to woo your beau, here’s the rub,

Friggle her with laughter and griggle her with love.

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The Crazymad Writer writes again.

Stories for children and young at heart adults

By ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRRGH.

 

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Keep Calm and Read My Books

The Crazymad writer's eBooks are only 99 cents each

Keep Calm and Read My Books

I am Gerrard T Wilson, The Crazymad Writer of children’s stories – ARRRRRGH.

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Although my works are primarily aimed at children, adults also enjoy reading them. 

My works include such notables as: 

 Tales of the Extraordinary,  

 The Witches,  

 Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World,

 HARRY ROTTER (she has lost her Magical Marbles),  

 Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad Mr Viscous,  

Slug Talk,  

 The Tales of Beetle About,  

 Tales of Childhood, volumes 1 and 2,  

 Horrible Horace,  

 Stories for Boys,  

 The Three Faerie Sisters,  

 Christmas: A Carol Betwixt,

 The Fog,

 Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff,  

 Stewed Rhymes,  

A Beer in a Burger Bar,

 And a whole lot MORE.

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Father Christmas; where have you gone?

Father Christmas where have you gone?

Will I never be able to tell my son

Of times gone by, of simpler days

When you reigned supreme each Christmas day?

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Santa came, he took your place

He does your job with greater haste

In colours chosen by market men

To sell more drinks in glass and cans

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The buzzwords now are buy! buy! buy!

Spend your money; don’t wonder why

Santa Claus, in red and white

Drinks coca cola; he MUST BE right.

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Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop, where you can purchase my eBooks.

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Half a Pound of Tuppeny Rice (Whiz-Popping)

Half a pound of tuppeny rice,

Half a pound of fine treacle,

Mix it up and eat it all down,

WHIZ-POPPING begins – I’m sorry!

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Up and down the city road,

To buy a box of Eno’s,

That’s the way the money goes,

WHIZ-POPPING continues – I’m sorry!

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 Half a pound of tuppeny rice,

Half a pound of fine treacle,

I mixed it up and ate it all down,

WHIZ-POPPING persists – I’M SORRY, I REALLY AM SORRY.

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Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop, where you can purchase my eBooks.

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Posted by on November 1, 2013 in Stories for children

 

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There was an Old Woman who Swallowed a Gnat!

I know an old woman, who swallowed a gnat,

What was she at, to swallow a gnat?

The silly old prat…

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I know an old woman, who swallowed a lizard,

That squirmed and turned and burned inside her.

She swallowed the lizard to catch the gnat,

What was she at, to swallow a gnat?

The silly old prat…

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I know an old woman, who swallowed a bat,

What a sap to swallow a bat.

She swallowed the bat to catch the lizard,

That squirmed and turned and burned inside her.

She swallowed the lizard to catch the gnat,

What was she at, to swallow a gnat?

The silly old prat…

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I know an old woman who swallowed a bed…

She’s dead!

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Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop, where you can purchase my eBooks.

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Posted by on November 1, 2013 in Stories for children

 

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The Queen of Hearts baked some Tarts

The Queen of Hearts,

She made some tarts,

All on a summer’s day.

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The Knave of Hearts;

Did he steal those tarts?

 Did he steal them right away?

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 The King of Hearts,

Called for the tarts,

And the knave, to beat, for sure.  

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But the Knave of Hearts,

 Got off scot free,

With Alice, amidst furor.

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Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop, where you can purchase my eBooks.

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OFF WITH HER HEAD

OFF WITH HER HEAD

(From Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World)

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Off with her head, I said, OFF, OFF, OFF!

Off with her head; put it on a block!

Swing your axe high executioner; find the true mark!

I said off with her head, now; make a start!

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Why do you want to punish her, so?

Said the King for Alice, standing below.

She is just a child; a mere wisp of a girl,

Searching for Rabbit’s house at the Top of the World.

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For a moment the Queen faltered, mulling her plan,

Then she roared, Are you mouse or a man?

Alice’s head it must fall or yours will be next!

Off with her head and don’t make a mess!

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Standing, there, listening, Alice thought she was done,

Waiting for the chopper with its final anon.

Then down from the sky an old man appeared,

Then he whisked her away; tucked under his beard!

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She won’t be chopping your head, he said with a smile,

Father Christmas, to the poor, startled child.

Let us up and away and follow our snouts,

To the Top of the World and the Rabbit’s fine house.

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Hissing her annoyance, the Queen voiced her thoughts,

Behead everyone, and then she went for a walk.

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Christmas is Coming…

Christmas is Coming (the goose is getting fat)

 

Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

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Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween to all of my followers

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As bonkers as conkers, that’s what I say

As bonkers as conkers, Halloween fray,

Fun times and blood times are coming, for sure,

Bonkers as conkers furor.

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HALLOWEEN

Halloween, Halloween,

It’s not the time for in between,

Heaven and earth,

Alive and bedevilled,

Choose your true tack,

Lest you are cast into Hell.

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Cast into Hell,

To rot and decay,

Along with those others,

Who strayed from the way,

The way of God’s children,

Honest and true.

Halloween time is not for the few.

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It’s not for the few,

It’s for all humankind,

While you are scaring bear that in mind,

‘Cos on the morrow, when the partying is done,

After you have chosen your tack,

And the witches are gone,

Eternity will beckon, urging you on…

To heaven knows what,.

GO: BE GONE.

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Happy Halloween.

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Stories for children and young at heart adults

by ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRRGH.

 
 

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