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Sluggy, the Slug

07 Jan
Sluggy, the Slug

To a creature only two inches long, a backyard isn’t just a yard—it’s a continent. For Sluggy, a lime-green gastropod with a thirst for adventure and a silver trail of ambition, the edge of the patio was the edge of the known world.

The Great Concrete Desert

Sluggy began his journey at dawn, while the dew still clung to the hostas like liquid diamonds. His goal: The Great Wooden Gate, a towering monolith that promised a world beyond the rosebushes.

The first obstacle was the Patio. To a slug, sun-baked stone is a treacherous wasteland.

  • The Risk: Drying out before reaching the shade.
  • The Strategy: Constant production of high-grade slime.
  • The Close Call: A giant, rubber-soled “Human Boot” thundered down inches from his eyestalks, vibrating the very earth.

Sluggy didn’t retreat. He tucked his stalks, waited for the earthquake to pass, and soldiered on.

The Jungle of Long Grass

Beyond the patio lay the Unmown Realm. Here, the blades of grass were like emerald skyscrapers swaying in the wind.

Sluggy met a Cricket named Kip, who was tuning his legs for the evening performance.

“You’re going to the Outside?” Kip chirped, incredulous. “It takes me three jumps to reach the gate. It’ll take you… well, a lifetime.”

“It’s not about the speed,” Sluggy replied with a rhythmic ripple of his foot. “It’s about the detail. I bet you’ve never seen the patterns on the underside of a dandelion leaf.”

The Summit of the Threshold

By sunset, Sluggy reached the base of the gate. He didn’t go under it; he chose to go over. The climb was vertical and grueling. Every inch was a battle against gravity, his body glistening under the rising moon.

As he reached the top of the wooden slat, the world finally opened up. He didn’t see a backyard anymore. He saw:

  1. The Black River: A shimmering asphalt road stretching to infinity.
  2. The Fireflies of the Sky: Distant streetlamps and stars that mirrored his own silver trail.
  3. The Unknown: A forest of oaks across the street, whispering secrets in the breeze.

The Horizon Awaits

Sluggy looked back at his garden—a small, safe circle of green. Then he looked forward. He was the first of his kind to reach the Summit of the Gate. He wasn’t just a slug; he was an explorer.

With a slow, deliberate tilt of his head, he began his descent into the new world. He had nowhere to be, and all the time in the universe to get there.

To continue reading this story, click HERE and enjoy.

 
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Posted by on January 7, 2026 in adventure story

 

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There Once was a Slug called Slimy

15 Oct

There Once was a Slug called Slimy

The Great Lettuce Heist

Slimy’s ambition far exceeded his speed, or his girth. His dream was to cross the unforgiving expanse of Mrs. Higgins’s back garden to reach The Sacred Head of Romaine, a prize of such size and crispness it was practically a monument.

The year was 1968, the height of summer, and Slimy had a plan. He wasn’t going to crawl. Crawing was for amateurs.

He was going to surf.

His partner in crime was Pip, a beetle whose main function in life was complaining.

“I still don’t understand why we’re doing this during the hottest part of the day,” Pip muttered, clinging precariously to Slimy’s shell-less back.

“Silence, Pip!” Slimy yelled, his eyestalks twitching with maniacal focus. “The sun bakes my trail! It creates a slick, semi-solid layer of… of pure velocity!”

In reality, the heat was just evaporating the water in his mucus, leaving behind a sticky, awful film.

Slimy pushed off from the edge of the shed, aiming for the first patch of damp shade fifty feet away. Immediately, his undercarriage seized up. He wasn’t sliding; he was sticking. Every micro-millimeter of progress was achieved through pure, agonizing abdominal contraction, a motion less like surfing and more like peeling a sticker off a varnished tabletop.

“Velocity, you said,” Pip wheezed, adjusting his tiny sunglasses. “I believe the current rate of travel is approximately one Planck length per fortnight.”

Slimy ignored him. “I just need a better… launch!”

With a burst of desperation, Slimy secreted a volume of mucus that, had it been liquid, would have drowned Pip. The result was not speed, but a magnificent, sticky dome that enveloped them both. They slid three inches, then stopped dead, firmly glued to the concrete path.

 

The Unlikely Rescue

 

Just then, Kevin, a nine-year-old boy and resident Terror of the garden, came skipping out the back door, singing a song about “Groovy, Groovy Caterpillars.” Kevin was known for two things: an unnerving love of brightly coloured wellington boots, and an innate talent for accidentally stepping on invertebrates.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” Pip whispered, knowing their sticky situation meant a lack of escape options.

As Kevin’s neon green boot descended toward their mucus-prison, Slimy had a flash of inspiration. The glue!

He expanded the sticky dome, coating the bottom of the approaching boot just before impact. Kevin’s foot landed, missed Slimy by a hair, and then… stuck.

Kevin lifted his foot, and the entire surface layer of the concrete path, along with Slimy and Pip, came up with it. Slimy found himself traveling higher and faster than he ever had, clinging to the sole of the enormous boot.

“We’re airborne, Pip!” Slimy cried out, ecstatic. “We’re surfing the very winds of fate!”

“We are adhered to the sole of a rapidly moving, oversized rubber shoe!” Pip screamed back.

Kevin, oblivious, took a giant, stomping step right over the prize.

THWUMP!

Slimy, Pip, and the sticky patch of concrete landed squarely on top of The Sacred Head of Romaine.

 

The Victory

 

The impact shattered the lettuce, but left Slimy and Pip relatively unscathed. The surrounding slugs, who had spent the morning methodically nibbling the lower leaves, looked up in astonished, mucous-covered silence.

Slimy, covered in concrete dust and Romaine flakes, raised his eyestalks in triumph.

“See, Pip? Pure velocity!”

Pip merely shook his head, scraped himself off the sticky wreckage, and began eating the debris.

“Just call me King Slimy from now on,” Slimy declared.

“I’ll stick with Slimy,” Pip mumbled around a mouthful of lettuce, “but I’ll grant you this: you are the only slug in the county who has ever been rescued by his own failed adhesive technology.”

And that was the story of how Slimy, through utter incompetence and a staggering quantity of glue, successfully completed the greatest lettuce heist in garden history. Though, for the rest of his life, he was forced to peel himself off various surfaces using his tail.

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2025 in children's stories, fantasy, fantasy story, funny story, Slug

 

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Sir Slugalot’s Quest

15 Jul
Sir Slugalot’s Quest

“Sir Slugalot’s Quest”
(A Slightly Sticky Saga)

Sir Slugalot slid from his mossy old bed,
A helmet of thimble plonked on his head.
He dreamed of great glory, of dragons and fame—
Though moving an inch took a whole hour’s aim.

“I’m off!” cried the slug with a gallantish squeak,
“I’ll conquer the mountain by the end of the week!”
His mum packed him lettuce and two soggy scones,
And warned him to not poke the garden gnomes.

He slithered through puddles, past beetles and bees,
Got stuck in a boot, and then lost both his knees—
(Not literally gone, but he wasn’t quite sure,
For slugs are a mystery with legs that obscure.)

He battled a breeze and a leaf with sharp corners,
Outwitted a gang of snail-brained marauders.
He tamed a wild worm with a licorice whip,
And performed CPR when a toad did a flip.

At last, he arrived at the great garden gate,
Just moments behind…a much faster snail mate.
The crowd gave a cheer! (Or perhaps it was yawns.)
They crowned him with dandelions and knitted pompons.

So if ever you think that you’re sluggish or slow,
Just think of Sir Slugalot, hero of woe.
He might not be speedy or terribly bright—
But he did win the joust with a glow-in-the-dark kite.

 
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Posted by on July 15, 2025 in funny story, slug story

 

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The Sword and the Slug

14 Jul
The Sword and the Slug

The Sword and the Slug
(A Less-Than-Epic Tale)

In a land full of peril and dragons and doom,
A hero once swaggered (with barely a groom),
He carried a sword made of glitter and grit,
And thought he was grander than just a bit.

But lo! From a puddle (or possibly bog),
There squelched a great terror: a gargantuan slug.
It slimed its way forward with menacing squish,
Demanding a duel—and a side of fresh fish.

The hero stood tall and announced with a roar,
“I’ll cut you to jelly, you gelatinous bore!”
The slug blinked just once (for it only had one),
Then slurped up a hedgehog—just for some fun.

They circled and danced in a comical way,
The slug doing oozes, the swordman ballet.
With a slip and a squelch and a slippery slide,
The hero tripped backwards and bruised his poor pride.

The slug gave a shrug (well, as much as it could),
And offered a treaty: “We’re both rather good.
You’re shiny and loud, I’m just gooey and great—
Let’s open a snack shack and call it a date.”

Now deep in the woods near the croak of a frog,
There’s a bistro well-known: The Sword and the Slug.
They serve up fine puddings and dandelion stew—
And they’ll duel you for dessert (but only if you).

 
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Posted by on July 14, 2025 in slug story

 

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There Once was a Slug called Reilly

14 Jul
There Once was a Slug called Reilly

There Once Was a Slug Called Reilly

There once was a slug called Reilly,
Who slid through the world quite spryly.
He wore a small hat,
And was terribly fat,
But danced in the moonlight so wily.

He sloshed through the soup of the garden,
With manners that begged your pardon.
He’d twirl on a leaf,
Like a slug ballet chief,
Then bow with a wink from the lardon.

His dreams were of glitter and fame,
Of topping the gastropod game.
He practiced his spin,
With a half-gooey grin,
And signed autographs with his name.

The beetles all clapped with delight,
As Reilly danced deep in the night.
He jiggled with flair,
Like jelly mid-air—
A mollusc with style and might!

So if you should spot a slow trail,
All silvery, sparkled, and pale,
It might just be he,
In arthropod glee,
Still chasing his showbiz tale.

 
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Posted by on July 14, 2025 in slug story

 

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A Heroic Tale of Courage and Flame

08 Jul
A Heroic Tale of Courage and Flame

The Slug and the Sword

**************************

In a land of goo and gloopy green,

Where beasts were slimy, fierce, and mean,

A boy stood bold with fire and flair,

A wooden sword held in the air.

The slug, a monster tall and wide,

With oozing mouth and bulging eyes,

Let out a wail, a gurgling roar—

It hadn’t seen such rage before!

The boy, in boots and shirt of red,

With courage blazing in his head,

Cried, “Foulest beast, your reign is through!

This land needs heroes—so here’s your due!”

His sword ignited, flames flew high,

A comet burning through the sky.

He leapt with might, he leapt with grace—

Determination on his face!

The slug recoiled, began to slide,

Its blobby form too slow to hide.

But even goo can’t beat the flame

Of one young boy who played no game.

So tales were told from tree to stream

Of one brave child who chased a dream—

Who fought the beast, who dared the fight,

And turned the dark to morning light.

Fighting the Giant Slug
 
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Posted by on July 8, 2025 in heroic tale, horrible horace

 

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Reilly, the Slug

12 Oct

There once was a slug called Reilly,

Who was incredibly slimy,

He thought he was smart,

Going out in the dark,

Until he fell down in a hole, did Reilly.

While stuck in that dark place,

Reilly thought about his life and his fate,

About the jerk he had been,

To everyone he had seen,

So he promised to be good, did Reilly.

Suddenly, a stick falling into the hole,

Presented a way to escape from it all,

Freed from that space,

Reilly forgot his promise, though great.

And returned to his bad ways, did Reilly.

One day when Reilly was alone,

He forgot to cover up his dank home,

It was an incredibly hot day,

The sun shone brightly away,

Drying him up, that slug, old Reilly,

The moral of my story is this,

Treat everyone you meet with a wish,

That their life is just fine,

Untroubled by lying and slime,

Don’t end up like silly old Reilly.

reilly-the-slug

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2016 in fantasy, fantasy story, humour

 

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There once was a Slug called Reilly

09 Dec

The Crazymad Writer's avatarThe Crazymad Writer Writes Again

There once was a slug called Reilly,
Who was incredibly slimy,
He thought he was smart,
Going out in the dark,
Until he fell down in a hole, did Reilly.

While stuck in that dark place,
Reilly thought about his life and his fate,
About the jerk he had been,
To everyone he had seen,
So he promised to be good, did Reilly.

Suddenly, a stick falling into the hole,
Presented a way to escape from it all,
Freed from that space,
Reilly forgot his promise, though great.
And returned to his bad ways, did Reilly.

One day when Reilly was alone,
He forgot to cover up his dank home,
It was an incredibly hot day,
The sun shone brightly away,
Drying him up, that slug, old Reilly,

The moral of my story is this,
Treat everyone you meet with a wish,
That their life is just fine,
Untroubled by…

View original post 11 more words

 
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Posted by on December 9, 2014 in fantasy, funny story, funny video

 

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Does Joe

03 Jul

Slug

Does Joe

There once was a slug called Joe

Who wished he were fast, not slow

Until one day while alone

He saw a snail struggling; carrying its home

Now he slimes about happily: does Joe

 
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Posted by on July 3, 2014 in Song

 

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There once was a Slug called Reilly

28 Apr

There once was a slug called Reilly,
Who was incredibly slimy,
He thought he was smart,
Going out in the dark,
Until he fell down in a hole, did Reilly.

While stuck in that dark place,
Reilly thought about his life and his fate,
About the jerk he had been,
To everyone he had seen,
So he promised to be good, did Reilly.

Suddenly, a stick falling into the hole,
Presented a way to escape from it all,
Freed from that space,
Reilly forgot his promise, though great.
And returned to his bad ways, did Reilly.

One day when Reilly was alone,
He forgot to cover up his dank home,
It was an incredibly hot day,
The sun shone brightly away,
Drying him up, that slug, old Reilly,

The moral of my story is this,
Treat everyone you meet with a wish,
That their life is just fine,
Untroubled by lying and slime,
Don’t end up like silly old Reilly.

******************************

 
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Posted by on April 28, 2014 in funny video

 

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