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♪♫♪ As Bonkers as Conkers ♪♫♪

♪♫♪ As Bonkers as Conkers ♪♫♪

As bonkers as conkers,

That’s how it goes,

As bonkers as conkers,

Everyone knows,

Stories for children and adults alike,

As bonkers as conkers, you’ll like.

**************

 
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Posted by on May 29, 2014 in humor, humour, Song

 

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Tales of the Extraordinary by The Crazymad Writer

Tales of the Extraordinary

By The Crazymad Writer

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Click HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 
 

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I don’t Like Mondays

It’s Monday; it came so fast,

Monday; I am aghast.

Where are the days? (They flew so fast),

As ever nearer the grave I pass.

If I could have that time again,

Oh, what changes I would make.

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Although my works are primarily aimed at children,

adults also enjoy reading them.  My works include such notables as: 

Tales of the Extraordinary,

The Witches,

Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World,

HARRY ROTTER (she has lost her Magical Marbles),

Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad Mr Viscous,

Slug Talk,

The Tales of Beetle About,

Tales of Childhood, volumes 1 and 2,

Horrible Horace,

Stories for Boys,

The Three Faerie Sisters,

Christmas: A Carol Betwixt,

The Fog,

Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff,

Stewed Rhymes,

A Beer in a Burger Bar,

 And a whole lot MORE.

sparkClick HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 

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Crazymad stories for children and adults

eBooks, stories for children and young at heart adults, courtesy of  The Crazymad Writer.

Click on the link and enjoy.  

*****

The Witches

*****

 

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Alice in Wonderland Rhymes

A NEW Alice in Wonderland story

Click HERE to purchase and download this exciting new eBook

Dunking the Mouse

Dunking the Mouse, Oh, Dunking the Mouse,

What can be better than dunking the Mouse?

Be it with a fine friend like the Rabbit, so stout,

Or on my old lonesome, I love dunking the Mouse.

**************

I open the pot and stick his head in,

And before he’s awoken he’s half the way in.

With Rabbit a-helping, we finish the job,

Then put the lid on, though Mouse is beginning to sob.

 **************

‘Oh please let me out’, he implore us, so meek,

But why should we do that when the tea tastes so sweet?

‘Oh give me a cup of that heavenly brew’,

Says Rabbit to me, ‘and a jam tart for you’.

 **************

I pour out two cups and we sit down anew,

With the tea and the tarts – and with Mouse in the brew,

Until Alice strolls by, and unsettles our ruse,

Saving Mouse from his fate and us from the noose.

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 The Queen of Hearts

The Queen of Hearts,

She made some tarts,

All on a summer’s day.

 *

The Knave of Hearts;

Did he steal those tarts?

 Did he steal them right away?

 *

 The King of Hearts,

Called for the tarts,

And the knave, to beat, for sure.

 *

But the Knave of Hearts,

 Got off scot free,

With Alice, amidst furor.

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Off with her head!

Off with her head, I said, OFF, OFF, OFF!

Off with her head; put it on a block!

Swing your axe high executioner; find the true mark!

I said off with her head, now; make a start!

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Why do you want to punish her, so?

Said the King for Alice, standing below.

She is just a child; a mere wisp of a girl,

Searching for Rabbit’s house at the Top of the World.

**********

For a moment the Queen faltered, mulling her plan,

Then she roared, Are you mouse or a man?

Alice’s head it must fall or yours will be next!

Off with her head and don’t make a mess!

**********

Standing, there, listening, Alice thought she was done,

Waiting for the chopper with its final anon.

Then down from the sky an old man appeared,

Then he whisked her away; tucked under his beard!

**********

She won’t be chopping your head, he said with a smile,

Father Christmas, to the poor, startled child.

Let us up and away and follow our snouts,

To the Top of the World and the Rabbit’s fine house.

 **********

Hissing her annoyance, the Queen voiced her thoughts,

Behead everyone, and then she went for a walk.

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I am a Cat

I am a Cat, it said smiling at her,

A Cheshire Cat; you can tell by my fur,

My paws and whiskers are also a hint,

But the smile on my face is most significant.

…………………………………………

I can see by your fur, said Alice – I do,

And also your paws and whiskers; it’s true,

But that smile on your face has me all in a tizz,

Coming and going, in such a whiz.

………………………………………

Still smiling at Alice, the Cat dryly replied,

You’d never believe me; you’d think I had lied,

If the smile on my face was gone; it’s a fact,

No one would listen or look at this Cat.

………………………………………….

Without offering Alice a chance to reply,

The Cat went on with his horrible lie,

Creeping closer and closer, until ever so near,

When he pounced, lashed out, cutting her ear.

…………………………………………..

Feeling the hurt and the blood running down,

Alice said, I was such a clown,

To have ever believed a Cat with a grin,

Take that, and that, you horrible thing!

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Stories; eBooks for children and adults that you can download today

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2014 in Alice in Wonderland

 

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Rocking around the Christmas Tree

Rocking around the Christmas Tree
At the Christmas party hop
Mistletoe hung where you can see
Every couple tries to stop
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You will get a sentimental feeling
When you hear voices singing
“Let’s be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly”
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Rocking around the Christmas Tree
Have a happy holiday
Everyone’s dancing merrily
In a new old fashioned way
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Rocking around the Christmas Tree
Let the Christmas Spirit ring
Later we’ll have some pumpkin pie
And we’ll do some caroling
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You will get a sentimental feeling
When you hear voices singing
“Let’s be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly”
Rocking around the Christmas Tree
Have a happy holiday
Everyone’s dancing merrily
In a new old fashioned way.
****************

Stories for children

and young at heart adults

 

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Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween to all of my followers

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As bonkers as conkers, that’s what I say

As bonkers as conkers, Halloween fray,

Fun times and blood times are coming, for sure,

Bonkers as conkers furor.

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HALLOWEEN

Halloween, Halloween,

It’s not the time for in between,

Heaven and earth,

Alive and bedevilled,

Choose your true tack,

Lest you are cast into Hell.

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Cast into Hell,

To rot and decay,

Along with those others,

Who strayed from the way,

The way of God’s children,

Honest and true.

Halloween time is not for the few.

 **********

It’s not for the few,

It’s for all humankind,

While you are scaring bear that in mind,

‘Cos on the morrow, when the partying is done,

After you have chosen your tack,

And the witches are gone,

Eternity will beckon, urging you on…

To heaven knows what,.

GO: BE GONE.

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Happy Halloween.

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Stories for children and young at heart adults

by ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRRGH.

 
 

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Stone The Crows

Stone The Crows

 

Stone the crows.

What can you mean?

I said stone the crows.

You are awful mean,

To think you could hurt such wonderful birds,

I say stone you too, you are so absurd.

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Stone the crows.

Not YOU again.

Stone the crows.

You are not my friend,

That you could maim such marvellous things,

I say stone you too, you horrible thing!

**********

Stone the crows,

It’s a figure of speech!

Stone the crows?

It’s how I speak,

It means, Well I never,

I won’t harm the birds.

Stone the crows are such wonderful words.

**********

Stories for children and young at heart adults

by The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH!

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2013 in poems, The Crazymad Writer

 

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Time Does Not Exist

Time Does Not Exist

Time does not exist…

Ah, but here’s the twist,

It’s always NOW.

 No before or then,

No happy ever after,

For mice and men.

It’s NOW,

It has always been NOW,

Before and after,

Is just a silly dream.

*****

Stories for children and young at heart adults

by The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH!

 
1 Comment

Posted by on October 13, 2013 in Stories for children

 

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