Up, up and away
with The Crazymad Writer, for sure.
Stories for children and young at heart adults
by ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.
Boeing 747 jumbo jet
Monthly Archives: October 2014
The Crazymad Writer came a close second in the Russian Grand Prix
The Crazymad Writer came a close second
in the Inaugural Russian Grand Prix
You don’t believe it?
Would you believe the Crazymad Writer watched the race on TV
and fell out of his chair, in great excitement, when Lewis Hamilton won?
Lewis Hamilton wins Russian Grand Prix
Formula One
Lewis Hamilton dominated the Russian Grand Prix
to take his ninth win of the year,
his fourth in a row, and extend his championship lead.
****************
Conkers Bonkers
The BFG – Whizzpopper Song
The BFG – Whizzpopper Song
That was soooo good!
*****
A New Alice in Wonderland story.
Alice in Wonderland MAYHAM
A NEW Alice in Wonderland story
Click HERE to purchase and download this exciting new eBook
Dunking the Mouse
Dunking the Mouse, Oh, Dunking the Mouse,
What can be better than dunking the Mouse?
Be it with a fine friend like the Rabbit, so stout,
Or on my old lonesome, I love dunking the Mouse.
**************
I open the pot and stick his head in,
And before he’s awoken he’s half the way in.
With Rabbit a-helping, we finish the job,
Then put the lid on, though Mouse is beginning to sob.
**************
‘Oh please let me out’, he implore us, so meek,
But why should we do that when the tea tastes so sweet?
‘Oh give me a cup of that heavenly brew’,
Says Rabbit to me, ‘and a jam tart for you’.
**************
I pour out two cups and we sit down anew,
With the tea and the tarts – and with Mouse in the brew,
Until Alice strolls by, and unsettles our ruse,
Saving Mouse from his fate and us from the noose.
**************
*****
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*
The Queen of Hearts
The Queen of Hearts,
She made some tarts,
All on a summer’s day.
*
The Knave of Hearts;
Did he steal those tarts?
Did he steal them right away?
*
The King of Hearts,
Called for the tarts,
And the knave, to beat, for sure.
*
But the Knave of Hearts,
Got off scot free,
With Alice, amidst furor.
*********
***
*
Off with her head!
Off with her head, I said, OFF, OFF, OFF!
Off with her head; put it on a block!
Swing your axe high executioner; find the true mark!
I said off with her head, now; make a start!
***********
Why do you want to punish her, so?
Said the King for Alice, standing below.
She is just a child; a mere wisp of a girl,
Searching for Rabbit’s house at the Top of the World.
**********
For a moment the Queen faltered, mulling her plan,
Then she roared, Are you mouse or a man?
Alice’s head it must fall or yours will be next!
Off with her head and don’t make a mess!
**********
Standing, there, listening, Alice thought she was done,
Waiting for the chopper with its final anon.
Then down from the sky an old man appeared,
Then he whisked her away; tucked under his beard!
**********
She won’t be chopping your head, he said with a smile,
Father Christmas, to the poor, startled child.
Let us up and away and follow our snouts,
To the Top of the World and the Rabbit’s fine house.
**********
Hissing her annoyance, the Queen voiced her thoughts,
Behead everyone, and then she went for a walk.
**********
***
*
I am a Cat
I am a Cat, it said smiling at her,
A Cheshire Cat; you can tell by my fur,
My paws and whiskers are also a hint,
But the smile on my face is most significant.
…………………………………………
I can see by your fur, said Alice – I do,
And also your paws and whiskers; it’s true,
But that smile on your face has me all in a tizz,
Coming and going, in such a whiz.
………………………………………
Still smiling at Alice, the Cat dryly replied,
You’d never believe me; you’d think I had lied,
If the smile on my face was gone; it’s a fact,
No one would listen or look at this Cat.
………………………………………….
Without offering Alice a chance to reply,
The Cat went on with his horrible lie,
Creeping closer and closer, until ever so near,
When he pounced, lashed out, cutting her ear.
…………………………………………..
Feeling the hurt and the blood running down,
Alice said, I was such a clown,
To have ever believed a Cat with a grin,
Take that, and that, you horrible thing!
******
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*
Was this a Shadow Person or the Devil himself?
I heard a sound by my bedside last night
I heard a sound by my bedside last night,
I heard a strange sound; I got such a fright.
As something passed by me deep in the night,
I heard a faint sound; did it want my poor life?
**********
I made not a sound; I was still, in such fright,
As I lay in bed in the deep of the night,
I could hear it close by, how I longed for the light.
What was the dark thing probing the night?
**********
An evil black form, a shadowy sight,
Began to rise slowly in front of my eyes.
As I lay in bed on my left-hand side,
The dark, wicked thing rose slowly into sight.
**********
I could move not a muscle; I was frozen in fright,
As the dark frightful vision continued in height,
Till it’s malevolent eyes were almost in sight.
Only then did I close mine, despite the dark night.
**********
I knew it was wicked, evil personified,
That he wanted my sight, the light of my life.
I closed my eyes; shut them tight as the night.
Evading the Grim Reaper’s deathly cold scythe.
**********
Finally, eventually, when I opened my eyes,
I thought it was gone, departed my side,
But it was still there, though lower this time,
Starting beginning to rise over again.
**********
How could I be free from the terrible beast,
That wanted my soul, my heart and my peace?
Perhaps, if I kept my eyes firmly closed,
It might give up and leave me alone.
**********
So I closed my eyes, though still in such fright,
And I prayed that I’d last out the night.
Although its Dark Presence was close to my brow,
I kept my eyes shut so it wouldn’t bother me now.
**********
The Darkness and danger passed from me that night,
It vanished, departed, left my bedside.
I rolled over, so comfy, lulled back into nod,
Till the next time it happened it was just me and my God.
A note: This really did happen to me – and on more than one occasion – when I was six or seven years of ago many years ago.
I saw the Moon shining through my window last night
I saw the Moon shining through my window last night,
Shining so brightly; I got such a fright,
I pulled up my blanket and fell fast asleep,
Knowing God would protect me safely and keep.
***********
I once had a pain in my toe
I once had a pain in my toe,
That would come and then it would go,
That’s how it stayed for all of my days,
The pain at the end of my toe.
A note: I don’t have a pain my my toe anymore.
I don’t have any toes, not even one.
You see, I have gone to heaven.
The Old Witch – A Halloween story by The Brothers Grimm
There was once a little girl who was very wilful and who never obeyed when her elders spoke to her – so how could she be happy?
One day she said to her parents, ‘I have heard so much of the old witch that I will go and see her. People say she is a wonderful old woman, and has many marvellous things in her house, and I am very curious to see them.’
But her parents forbade her going, saying, ‘The witch is a wicked old woman, who performs many godless deeds – and if you go near her, you are no longer a child of ours.’
The girl, however, would not turn back at her parents’ command, but went to the witch’s house. When she arrived there the old woman asked her:
‘Why are you so pale?’
‘Ah,’ she replied, trembling all over, ‘I have frightened myself so with what I have just seen.’
‘And what did you see?’ inquired the old witch.
‘I saw a black man on your steps.’
‘That was a collier,’ replied she.
‘Then I saw a gray man.’
‘That was a sportsman,’ said the old woman.
‘After him I saw a blood-red man.’
‘That was a butcher,’ replied the old woman.
‘But, oh, I was most terrified,’ continued the girl, ‘when I peeped through your window, and saw not you, but a creature with a fiery head.’
‘Then you have seen the witch in her proper dress,’ said the old woman. ‘For you I have long waited, and now you shall give me light.’
So saying the witch changed the little girl into a block of wood, and then threw it on the fire. When it was fully alight, she sat down on the hearth and warmed herself, saying:
‘How good I feel! The fire has not burned like this for a long time!’
He went to the Doctor
An intern was sent to collect a new skeleton from the central store.
When he arrived at the consultant surgeon’s office there was already
a queue of patients waiting. As the intern wrestled the skeleton through
the outside door he became aware of people gazing at him enquiringly.
He gave them a smile and said, ‘I am bringing him to the doctor.’
An old lady said sympathetically, ‘My dear! Isn’t he a bit late for the doctor?’
Halloween Pumpkin
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 