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Monthly Archives: October 2014

Don’t step on a duck!

Three women die together in an accident and
go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, ‘We! only have
one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!’

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are
ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to
step on a duck, and although they try their best to
avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, ‘Your
punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend
eternity chained to this ugly man!’

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps
on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t
miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together with the same admonishment
as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not
wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man,
is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on
any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her
with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes
on … very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, ‘I wonder what I did to
deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?’

The guy says, ‘I don’t know about you, but I stepped
on a duck!’

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Posted by on October 20, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour

 

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Read the story through the lines…

99 cent eBook downloads

Read the story through the lines, feel the warmth of reading time.

Dream of softly written words, warm we know, stories told.

As the reading days unfold, hearts grow warmer in the fold,

Peace of mind is all we know, warm they go, stories told.

**************

Stories for children and adults

by ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

 

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A Brand-new Datsun Car!!!

2014 Datsun Go

  First Drive Video Review

 

 
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Posted by on October 17, 2014 in classic car, news

 

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Off with her head!

This poem was inspired by the NEW Alice in Wonderland story.

Off with her head, I said, OFF, OFF, OFF!

Off with her head; put it on a block!

Swing your axe high executioner; find the true mark!

I said off with her head, now make a start!’

*

Why would you want to punish her, so?

Said the red King for Alice, below.

She is just a poor child; a wisp of a girl,

Seeking Rabbit’s house on Top of the World.

*

For a moment the Queen faltered, mulling her plan,

Then she exploded again, asking, Are you mouse or man?

Alice’s head it must fall, lest yours be the next!

Now off with that head, and don’t make a mess!

*

Standing there frightened, Alice thought her days gone,

As she waited for the chopper and her final anon.

Then down from the sky an old man appeared,

And whisked her away  tucked under his beard!

*

She won’t be a chopping your head, my sweet child,

Said the man, Father Christmas, with gentle sweet smile.

We shall up and away and follow our snouts,

To Top of the World, and Rabbit’s neat house.

Hissing her annoyance at being out thought,

The Queen ordered everyone beheaded and went for a walk.

A new Alice in Wonderland story

**************

 

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Trick or Treat us this night!

Trick or treat us this night, It’s Halloween, we say,

Trick or treat us this night, With goodies, we pray,

Like candy and cola and pieces of fruit,

Trick or treat us this night, You silly old coot.

*

I will not give you a thing, You nasty young tykes,

Go away, leave me be, It’s late in the night,

You should be home, in your beds,

Not here by my door, Be off you little scruffs,

I am closing my door.

*

Trick or treat us this night,

This is your last chance,

Trick or treat us this night,

Don’t take that vile stance,

Give us goodies – so fine,

Like candy, just give,

Trick or treat us this night,

You silly old twit.

*

I warned you already,

Now here is my boot,

Take that and that,

You spiteful young brutes,

And if you dare try,

To trick me this night,

I will kick you some more,

I tell you no lie.

*

Trick or treat us this night,

You had your last chance,

Now we trick you this night,

Despite your brave stance,

Abracadabra,

You are under our spell,

And will give some treats,

Sure, Halloween is so swell.

stories for children and adults

 
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Posted by on October 17, 2014 in Halloween

 

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The witches are coming!

The witches are coming, It’s that time of the year,

When ghosts, monsters and goblins, walk abroad, creating fear.

A time of dark nights and much darker deeds,

When kids call on neighbours, saying, trick or treat if you please.

When you deposit some treats into the bag by their side,

You will see magic so wondrous in those kids’ eyes,

The same magic that you possessed a long time ago,

Before worldly concerns dimmed its bright glow.

Never fear, though, you can rekindle it, Just open your eyes,

To the marvel and the wonder, In this great world of ours.

stories for children

I am the crazymad writer of children’s stories,

songs, nursery rhymes and much, much more!

 
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Posted by on October 17, 2014 in Halloween

 

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Do you want to be certified?

Do you want to be certified as a true practitioner of Mysticology and Magic?

Simply right click on the certificate, below, and save it to your computer.

Then print it, and write your name in the space provided.

You will then be an honorary member of the Onishian

Brotherhood of Mystics.

Fantasy stories for children and adults

*********

Stories for children and adults by The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

 

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