There is a country, so bold,
As to meddle with nations of the world,
It thinks it is right,
In every single fight,
It starts in this crazymad world.
***********************
There was a donkey named Fred,
Who got his lady friend, a zebra, into bed.
Several months later on Donkra was born,
And Fred gasped, was it something I said?
********************
By W T Goodge
Infant; teething,
Thrush and croup,
Schoolboy; marbles,
Top and hoop,
Youth; sweet picnics,
Cigarettes,
Cricket, football,
Sundry bets!
*
Young man; courtship,
Lovely she,
Married; youngsters,
Two or three,
Worry, trouble,
Smile and frown,
“In memoriam,
William Brown!”
***********************

By
There’s a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
There’s a little marble cross below the town;
There’s a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
He was known as “Mad Carew” by the subs at Khatmandu,
He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell;
But for all his foolish pranks, he was worshipped in the ranks,
And the Colonel’s daughter smiled on him as well.
He had loved her all along, with a passion of the strong,
The fact that she loved him was plain to all.
She was nearly twenty-one and arrangements had begun
To celebrate her birthday with a ball.
He wrote to ask what present she would like from Mad Carew;
They met next day as he dismissed a squad;
And jestingly she told him then that nothing else would do
But the green eye of the little Yellow God.
On the night before the dance, Mad Carew seemed in a trance,
And they chaffed him as they puffed at their cigars:
But for once he failed to smile, and he sat alone awhile,
Then went out into the night beneath the stars.
He returned before the dawn, with his shirt and tunic torn,
And a gash across his temple dripping red;
He was patched up right away, and he slept through all the day,
And the Colonel’s daughter watched beside his bed.
He woke at last and asked if they could send his tunic through;
She brought it, and he thanked her with a nod;
He bade her search the pocket saying “That’s from Mad Carew,”
And she found the little green eye of the god.
She upbraided poor Carew in the way that women do,
Though both her eyes were strangely hot and wet;
But she wouldn’t take the stone and Mad Carew was left alone
With the jewel that he’d chanced his life to get.
When the ball was at its height, on that still and tropic night,
She thought of him and hurried to his room;
As she crossed the barrack square she could hear the dreamy air
Of a waltz tune softly stealing thro’ the gloom.
His door was open wide, with silver moonlight shining through;
The place was wet and slipp’ry where she trod;
An ugly knife lay buried in the heart of Mad Carew,
‘Twas the “Vengeance of the Little Yellow God.”
There’s a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Khatmandu,
There’s a little marble cross below the town;
There’s a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew,
And the Yellow God forever gazes down.
**********
Noddy was a happy chap,
In his car; red, blue and yellow,
Driving up and down the road,
He was such a happy fellow,
*
One day while driving roundabout,
Noddy heard a cry, you see,
Help, help, it called, lest I might die,
I have the flue, said he.
*
Applying brakes, stopping fast,
Noddy wondered who it was,
Who’s that? he asked, looking around,
His mind was all agog.
*
It’s me, he answered, it’s Mr Toad,
I am feeling ill and sick,
Bring me to the doctor, please,
Drive your car quick, quick!
*
Hop in my car you poor, poor thing,
Said Noddy to the Toad,
I’ll bring you there so very fast,
Your feet will touch your nose,
*
The doc will know just what to do,
He’ll fix you up, real strong,
With pills and potions, drugs and cures,
You won’t be ill for long.
*
Thank you, thank you, said the Toad,
As he hopped into the car,
I am so sick I cannot wait,
Please drive; it’s not that far.
*
Doc has so much, said Noddy then,
To cure the ailing patient,
His big injections hit the mark,
Be it flu or constipation.
*
Big injections? asked the Toad,
Yes, big, so big, for real,
Goodbye, said Toad, I’m off right now,
My flue, it’s gone; I’m healed!
*
The moral of this story is,
If you are feeling ill,
Don’t ask Noddy for a lift,
Stay at home and take a pill.
********
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**********
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