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Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff

Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff,
Aliens landed; that is a fact,
In the dark of the night it happened, it did,
At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.

Breda, dear Breda, wake up, will you please?
Something is happening, and I am all in a tizz!
Leave me alone, she answered, I’m beat,
With those words on her lips, she fell fast asleep.

Donning my gown and slippers I left,
Her sleeping soundly as into the kitchen I crept,
Searching for light; a torch, my best friend,
Then into the garden I stealthily went.

Down the long garden, man and torch progressed,
Then i climbed over the fence, into the field with its guests,
Pointing my torch at the little green men,
I saw Aliens a plenty around a flying saucer, broken.

What are they doing? I mused out aloud,
Signalling my place, my location — and how,
Pointing their guns, the Aliens zapped me with rays,
Blue, yellow, green, orange and grey.

Thinking my time was finished, all gone,
I fell to the ground, awaiting the final anon,
Sorry about that, one of them said, helping me up,
We thought you were a cow, wanting to gobble us up.

What are you doing? I asked, with curious eyes,
Seeing them cutting grass, then taking it inside,
We are refuelling our spaceship, he told me aloud,
We get a light year per armful, he told me so proud.

That’s amazing, I said, can I go see inside?
Sorry, he answered, it’s too small for your like,
Laughing, I said, is there anything you need?
Yes, he told me forthrightly, can we have some tea?

Tea? I asked, you drink tea way up there,
In outer space with its atmosphere rare?
No, silly, he replied, it’s to pour down our boots,
We never travel with them empty — it’s the truth.

You pour tea down your boots? I laughed aloud,
What does it do, make you fly like a bird?
It does, he answered, how did you know that fact?
Was your mother or father an alien, or even the cat?

Just then I heard something, someone calling to me,
Gerrard, wake up, its morning; here is your tea,
Opening my eyes, I saw Breda my wife,
Offering the cup of plenty, tea; it’s my life.

Where are my boots? I asked, still half sleep,
I want them, I need them; oh where are they please?
They are under the bed, here, she said, offering them to me,
Why do you want them before drinking your tea?

Accepting the boots, I poured in the tea,
What on earth are you doing? she asked warily,
I don’t go anywhere, I told her, without filling them first,
Can I have another cup, I asked, because I sure have a thirst.

The moral of my story is this:
Avoid Ballykilduff, give it a miss,
For strange things are happening there,
Aliens in boots filled with tea, fixing their flying saucer, so rare.

Little green Man

 
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Posted by on October 9, 2014 in Aliens

 

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Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff

Little green Man

Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff

Aliens landed in Ballykilduff,
Aliens landed; that is a fact,
In the dark of the night it happened, it did,
At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.

Breda, dear Breda, wake up, will you please?
Something is happening and I am all in a tizz!
Leave me alone, she answered, I’m beat,
Having said that to me she fell fast asleep.

Donning my gown and slippers I left,
Her sleeping in bed as into the kitchen I crept,
Searching for light, the torch, my best friend,
I opened the door and into the garden I went.

Towards the end of the garden with my torch I progressed,
Then I climbed over the fence into the field with its guests,
Pointing my torch, I rained light upon them,
Aliens a plenty around a spaceship humming.

What are they doing? I wondered out loud,
Signalling my place, my location – and how,
Pointing their guns, the Aliens zapped me with rays,
Blue, yellow and green, orange and grey.

Thinking my time was finished, all gone,
I fell to the ground awaiting the anon,
Sorry about that, one of them said helping me up
We thought you were a cow wanting to eat us all up

What are you doing? I asked with curious eyes,
Seeing them cutting the grass, then taking it inside,
We are refuelling our spaceship, he told me quite proud,
We get one light year per armful, he said out aloud.

That’s amazing, I said, can I go see inside?
Sorry, he answered, it’s too small for your like,
Laughing, I asked if there was anything they need,
Yes, he told me forthrightly, can we have some tea?

Tea? I asked, you drink tea way up there,
In outer space, with its atmosphere rare?
No, silly, he replied, it’s to pour down our boots,
We never travel with them empty, forsooth.

You pour tea down your boots? I laughed out loud,
What does it do, make you fly like a bird?
It does, he told me, how did you know that?
Was your mother or father an alien, or even your cat?

Just then I heard something, someone calling to me,
Gerrard, wake up, its morning; here is your tea,
Opening my eyes, I saw Breda, my wife,
Offering the cup of plenty, tea; it’s my life.

Where are my boots? I asked, still half sleep,
I want them, I need them; oh where are they please?
They are under the bed, here, she said, offering them to me,
Why do you want them before drinking your tea?

Accepting my boots, I poured in the tea,
What on earth are you doing? she asked warily,
I don’t go anywhere without filling them first,
Can I have another cup, I asked, because I sure have a thirst.

The moral of my story is this:
Don’t go anyway near Ballykilduff, GIVE IT A MISS,
Strange things are happening down that neck of the woods,
Like Aliens, and Slugs driving campervans – and Fiats to boot.

Buy this exciting new eBook today.

It’s only 99 cents!

 

 
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Posted by on June 18, 2014 in Aliens, humor, humour, news

 

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Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff

Aliens landed in Ballykilduff,

Aliens landed; that is a fact,

In the dark of the night it happened – it did,

At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.

*

Breda, dear Breda, wake up, will you please?

Something is happening; I am all in a tizz!

Leave me alone, she answered, because I am beat,

With those words on her lips, she fell fast asleep.

*

Donning my gown and slippers I left,

Her sleeping so soundly as into the kitchen I crept,

Searching for light; the torch, my best friend,

Then into the garden I stealthily went.

*

Down the long garden, man and torch progressed,

Then I climbed over the fence, into the field with its guests,

Pointing my torch at little grey men,

I saw Aliens a plenty around a UFO, broken.

*

What are they doing? I wondered out loud,

Signalling my place, my location – and how,

Pointing their guns, the Aliens zapped me with rays,

Blue, yellow and green, orange and grey.

*

Thinking my time was finished, all gone,

I fell to the ground, awaiting the anon,

Sorry about that, one of them said, helping me up

We thought you were a cow, wanting to gobble us up.

*

What are you doing? I asked, with curious eyes,

Seeing them cutting the grass and taking it inside,

We are refuelling our spaceship, he told me quite proud,

We get one light year per armful, he said out aloud.

*

That’s amazing, I said, can I see inside?

Sorry, he answered, it’s too small for your like,

Laughing, I asked if there was anything the need,

Yes, he told me forthrightly, can we have some tea?

*

Tea? I asked him, you drink tea way up there,

In outer space, with its atmosphere rare?

No, silly, he replied it’s to pour down our boots,

We never travel with them empty, forsooth.

*

You pour tea down your boots? I laughed out loud,

What does it do, make you fly like a bird?

It does, he told me, how did you know that?

Was your mother or father an alien, or even your cat?

*

Just then I heard something, someone calling to me,

Gerrard, wake up, its morning; here is your tea,

Opening my eyes, I saw Breda, my wife,

Offering the cup of plenty, tea, my life,

*

Where are my boots? I asked her, though still half sleep,

I want them, I need them; oh where are they please?

They are under the bed, here, she said offering them to me,

Why do you want them before drinking you tea?

*

Accepting my boots, I poured in the tea,

What on earth are you doing? she asked warily,

I don’t go anywhere, I told her, without filling them first,

Can I have another cup, I asked, because I sure have a thirst.

*

The moral of my story is this:

Don’t go anyway near Ballykilduff, GIVE IT A MISS,

For strange things are going on down that neck of the woods,

Like Aliens driving campervans – and Fiats, to boot,

*****************************

sparkClick HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

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I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

Some people call me the New Roald Dahl...

 

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Merry Christmas – or should that be Merry Princessmas?

Merry Christmas

Or should that be Merry Princessmas?

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Stories for children and young at heart adults.

 

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Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff

Another great eBook

by The Crazymad Writer

Aliens landed in Ballykilduff,

Aliens landed; that is a fact,

In the dark of the night it happened, it did,

At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.

Chapter One

 

I was lying in bed, sleeping soundly one night, when something, a noise outside my bedroom widow woke me with a start. Sitting up in bed, I said, “What on earth was that?” However, despite listening intently I heard nothing else. Lying down again, I pulled the bed clothes tightly around me. “Brrr,” I said, shivering from the cold, “it feels more like winter than summer.” Pulling the bed clothes higher around me, I said, “This global warming thing, they keep telling us about, sure is cold.” With those words on my lips I fell fast asleep.

A few minutes the same noise woke me again. Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I said, “What on earth can it be?” Sitting up, I yawned, trying to figure it out. Scratching my head, I leaned over to the clock. Grabbing hold of it, I gazed it the dial. “It’s a quarter to four!” I grizzled. Scratching my head some more, I said, “Whoever is making that noise could have picked a better time in which to do it.”

Then I heard it again; the same noise, followed by the sound of banging and hammering. “Surely the neighbours aren’t fixing their car at this ungodly hour!” I groaned. “It has been giving them some trouble of late, but fixing it now, at a quarter to four in the morning, is going too far, so it is!”

The banging and hammering noises grew steadily louder. “It can’t be them, can it?” I growled. Getting out of bed, I shuffled across to the window. Pulling the curtains apart, I gazed outside, to their back garden. It was shrouded in darkness. “Well, it certainly ain’t them,” I said thankfully, “unless they can see in the dark.” Abandoning the curtain, I returned to bed.

I had only just laid my head on the pillow when the banging and hammering started again. Jumping out of bed, I groaned, “Will someone please tell me what is going on around here?”

Awakening from her slumbers, my wife, Breda, said, “What are you doing, Gerrard, standing at the end of the bed, ranting like a mad man?”

“I am sorry,” I answered. “I didn’t mean to awaken you.”

“Well, you did a good job of doing it,” she sarcastically replied. “What has you so worked up, anyhow?” she asked.

“It’s that noise,” I told her.

“Noise – what noise?”

“It was there a minute ago – honest it was.”

“Well, it’s not now!” she snapped. “Come to bed. You were probably having a dream.”

“More like a nightmare,” I grumbled. Approaching the widow, I pulled back the curtain, hoping to see the perpetrator going about his foul business. However, our garden, like our neighbour’s was shrouded in darkness.

“Forget about it,” Breda said to me. “On the morrow, we will go outside and see if anything is amiss. Meanwhile, get into bed lest you catch your death of cold!”

“Global warning, they keep telling us,” I said, grumbling about the weather.

“I’ll ‘global warming’ you if you don’t hush up and let me sleep!” she answered.

Suddenly, as I was letting go of the curtain an extraordinary bright flash outside secured my undivided attention.

CONTD

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where you can purchase my eBooks.

**********

 
 

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