Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She’d been drinkin’ too much egg nog
And we’d begged her not to go
But she’d left her medication
So she stumbled out the door into the snow

When they found her Christmas mornin’
At the scene of the attack
There were hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminatin’ Claus marks on her back

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin’ home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now were all so proud of Grandpa
He’s been takin’ this so well
See him in there watchin’ football
Drinkin’ beer and playin’ cards with cousin Belle

Bankers, greedy bankers,

Hoist them up high,

Burn them on bonfires,

For all of their lies,

Dance around the bonfires,

Glory in their pain,

And when you have done it,

DO IT AGAIN!

**************

He thought he saw a politician,

Who lived the perfect life,

He looked again, and saw it was,

A huge, humongous lie .

That’s it, he said, I realise,

The foolishness of life.

It’s a mess

He thought he saw an honest man,

Within the parliament,

He looked again, and saw it was,

Another bloated blimp.

Unless they leave this house,” he said,

There’ll be no hope, I think.”

It’s a real mess!

He thought he saw a banker man,

Who made an honest buck,

He looked again, and saw he was,

Entwined in all the muck.

If I were king, he said,

His head would be on the block.

It’s a terrible mess!

He thought…

I am a Cat, it said smiling at her,

A Cheshire Cat, you can tell by my fur,

My paws and whiskers are also a hint,

But the smile on my face is most significant.

*

I can see by your fur, said Alice – I do,

And also your paws and whiskers – it’s true,

But that smile on your face has me all in a tizz,

Coming and going in such a whiz.

*

Still smiling at Alice, the Cat dryly replied,

You’d never believe me; you’d think I had lied,

If the smile on my face was gone – it’s a fact,

No one would listen or look at this Cat.

*

Without offering Alice the chance to reply,

The Cat went on with his horrible lie,

Creeping closer and closer, until ever so near,

When he pounced, lashed out, cutting her ear.

*

Feeling the hurt…

Tomorrow will be cold, that is for sure,

Colder than cold; it will be quite raw,

Oh, what will I do, first and foremost,

Make a snowman or fight with balls of the stuff?

I will just have wait and hope its enough,

Be it two inches of snow or two feet of the stuff,

If it’s not very high I will go to work, though its far,

Driving carefully along in my Austin Princess car.

,

Then again I might stay home and make pray,

Thanking God for the white gift ‘cos it don’t happen every day.

See ya!

Guy Fawkes Night is coming; the ghouls are getting fat,
Please do put a penny in the old Guy’s hat,
If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do,
If you haven’t got a ha’penny, then we’ll get YOU!

Alice in Wonderland Christmas FREE eBook

It’s free at amazon.com

Enjoy.

I want to eat your brains

I want to eat your brains,

That’s what I said,

I want to eat your brains,

Until you are dead.

I am a zombie; it’s what I do,

Eating brains all night through.

**********

In the morning,

When I’ m nice and full,

Of lovely brains and blood, so cool,

I will go to bed and sleep it off,

Until the evening when I’ll want some more.

**********

Ghost House

by Robert frost

I dwell in a lonely house I know
That vanished many a summer ago,
And left no trace but the cellar walls,
And a cellar in which the daylight falls,
And the purple-stemmed wild raspberries grow.

*

O’er ruined fences the grape-vines shield
The woods come back to the mowing field;
The orchard tree has grown one copse
Of new wood and old where the woodpecker chops;
The footpath down to…

If Trump was a cat, he would be ever so fat,

Fatter than fat, it’s true

A strut around prat, annoying old gnat,

A doddering, silly old moo.