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Category Archives: humor

I am I and who are YOU?

I am Gerrard T Wilson, The Crazymad Writer of children’s stories.

Although my works are primarily aimed at children, adults can and, indeed do,

read them with as much interest and excitement. I like to think that my work

has a universal appeal, spanning the generations, the sexes and even the

continents. I have written so many stories, including ‘Tales of the Extraordinary’

(short stories with a unique, sometimes chilling appeal), ‘Ali-bonkers’,

‘Fizzy Cherry Cola’, and ‘The Witches’, also ‘Forget the Celebrities –

Read about My Crazy Life’ (weird and bizarre tales from my absolutely

crazy-mad life), ‘Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World’ (a follow on story

to Alice in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass), ‘HARRY ROTTER

(she’s a girl and a bad one at that), and ‘Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad

Mr Viscous’ (Jimmy is trying to stop Mr Viscous from rendering the

horses into GLUE). I also wrote ‘Nursery Rhymes – MY CRAZYMAD WAY’

(my own unique slant on some familiar rhymes), ‘My CRAZYMAD Poems’

(a collection of strange, oddball, oftentimes bizarre poems, including

‘Are you Normal?’, ‘Conkers Bonkers’, ‘Louco’s Preferred Drink’,

‘Sparky Parents’ , and ‘I’m NOT Mad’). There is also ‘Bolf’

(a Troll whose idea of a having good time is eating empty cigarette packets!).

You will also read about ‘Fle’ (an extremely old elf who lives in a fertilizer mine),

‘Fairy Tales’ including ‘The Three Faerie Sisters’, the ‘Little Brown Frog’, and

‘A Christmas Story’. Next up is ‘God, dog and Beelzebub’ (what (what on earth

can that be about?), ‘Greengrocer Jack and the Talking Cabbages’ (trying to stop

a giant Yam from taking over the world), ‘Poor Jane’, and ‘A Punt across the

Thames’ (I almost drowned that day!). Last, but certainly not least, I also

wrote Wot, Nott, Kakuri and the HU BA HOU’, a series (three quadrilogies)

featuring the oddball Outlanders, Wot and Nott.

Instead of giving your child that extra toy for his or her birthday, a book is a

far better option. Preferably one of mine, I am sure they will treasure it long

after their toys are abandoned at the back of that dusty old wardrobe.

Signed: The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

 

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Hang in There

stories for children

11 People on a Rope

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

10 men and 1  woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave,

Because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They weren’t able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman,

she was used to giving up everything for her

husband and kids or for men in general,

and was used to always  making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping…

*****

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2014 in humor, humour

 

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You don’t have to be mad…

You don’t have to be mad to visit this website

BUT IT HELPS!!!

Stories for children by the Crazymad Writer

 
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Posted by on September 27, 2014 in humor, humour, news

 

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Sparky Parents

children's stories, eBooks for only 99 cents each.

Sparky Parents

I will tell you this, from me to you,
To raise good children all that you need do,
Is be good parents, be shining bright,
The spark of their dreams; the light of their lives.

*

While they are young and when everything’s new,
Be their best friend and they also with you,
For childhood is fleeting, and before very long,
They will have departed the nest, and left you alone,

*

So pull up a blanket, lay thunder the stars,
And dream both together of pipes, cloaks and cars.

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour, news

 

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Conkers Bonkers

Stories for children by the Crazymad Writer

Conkers Bonkers

Conkers is a pastime,
That we remember every year,
When September comes we search about,
To find these gems so rare.
*
When we’ve collected bagfuls,
Enough for you and me,
We rush them home to sort and grade,
Into classes one to three.
*
The first are left to use right now,
And try our luck at play,
The second, to treat, to cure and bake,
Into champions, I do say.
*
The third are left for a whole year long,
Stuck up the chimney flu,
Until their day of glory comes,
I’ll make do with grades one and two.

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2014 in humor, humour, news

 

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Something is eating Kevin’s tomatoes…

Something is eating Kevin’s tomatoes…

Here is the culprit – and what a colourful one it is!

99 cent eBooks

 
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Posted by on September 24, 2014 in humor, humour, news

 

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CHEAP FLIGHTS – There’s no such thing as a flight for 50p

CHEAP FLIGHTS

There’s no such thing as a flight for 50p

Ruinair

 
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Posted by on September 17, 2014 in humor, humour, news

 

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The winds of change are blowing, for sure

99 cent eBooks

The winds of change are blowing, for sure,
The winds of change; the people want more,
Than cut-backs, and hardship; austerity time,
The people seek days of roses and wine,
Just like the fat cats, lording it up,
While the masses below suffer so much,
It must happen soon or revolution will come,
With help from the noose, the fat-cats are GONE.

*****************************

 

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We are the ninety-nine percent

99 cent eBooks

♫♪♫ People power will OUT in the end,
We are the ninety-nine percent,
We call on our leaders to follow our lead,
Support what’s right, not bankers greed.
*
People power will TRIUMPH in the end,
We are the ninety-nine percent,
Know you this all men of greed,
People power will conquer your greed.
*
People power will PREVAIL in the end,
We are the ninety-nine percent,
We WILL have our way; we WILL have our day,
People power WILL NOT go away. ♫♪♫
******

 
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Posted by on September 17, 2014 in humor, humour, news, Uncategorized

 

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There was a country called Reilly

Reilly

There was a country called Reilly,
That was incredibly slimy,
It thought it was smart,
Keeping all in the dark,
Until it fell down in a hole, did Reilly.
*
While in the bottom of that dark place,
Reilly thought about its life; its fate,
About the jerk it had been,
To all it had seen,
So it promised to be good, did Reilly,
*
Suddenly, a stick falling into the hole,
Presented a way to escape from it all,
Freed from that dark space,
Reilly forgot its promise, though great.
And returned to its bad ways, did Reilly.
*
One day when Reilly was alone,
It forgot to cover its dank home,
It was an incredibly hot day,
And the sun shining brightly away,
Dried up that country – Reilly,

The moral of my story is this,
Treat everyone you meet with a wish,
That their life is just fine,
Untroubled by lying,
Don’t end up like silly old Reilly.

*****

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour, poems

 

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