Oh, dear, what can the matter be
Three old ladies locked in the lavatory
They were there from Monday to Saturday
Nobody knew they were there
The first one’s name was Elizabeth Porter
She went in to be rid of some overdue water
And she stayed there far more than she ought to
And nobody knew she was there.
CHORUS
The second one’s name was Elizabeth Pomphrey
She went in and made herself comfy
Then she said: “Girls, I can’t get my bum free.”
And nobody knew she was there
CHORUS
The last one’s name was Elizabeth Carter
She was known as a world renowned farter
She went in and played a sonata
And nobody knew she was there.
CHORUS
Porridge is good for your bones,
Bones, bones, good for your bones.
Eat it up; it’ll do you good,
Do you good, good, good, good.
Look at it now; it’s so fine to eat,
It’s so fine and good, it is a treat.
Co-Co would dream of dancing
At midnight beneath the stars
‘Cos when it comes to dancing
Co-Co’s a star
He danced in a ring of fire
That circled the island shore
And as the flames got higher
They’d all call for more and more
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chika-ka-ho, go go Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, go go Co-Co
Across the silver water
The sound of the island drums
Echoing Co-Co’s laughter
Yeah, Co-Co’s the one
He moves with the cool of moonlight
Under a tropic sky
Then into the morning sunlight
He’d still hear them cry and cry
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, go go Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, go go Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, go go Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, go go Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, Co-Co
Ho-chi-ka-ka-ho, go go Co-Co
Songwriters
CHAPMAN, MICHAEL DONALD / CHINN, NICHOLAS BARRY
Published by
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
It’s cold and it’s getting colder
It’s gray and white and winter all around
And oh, I must be getting older
And all this snow is trying to get me down
*
There’s a fire in the corner slowly dyin’ away
Sometimes I just don’t feel like goin’ on anymore
And yet I know it’s more than worth the waiting
For another chance to see the summer sun
Come on, shine on me
*
There’s a fire in the corner slowly dyin’ away
Sometimes I just don’t feel like goin’ on anymore
And yet I know it’s more than worth the waiting away
For another chance to see the summer sun
Come on, shine on me.
By John Denver
********************
Oh, dear what can the matter be?
Crazymad Writer got stuck in the lavatory,
He was there from Sunday to Saturday,
Nobody knew he was there.
*
The first bad day was ever so grim,
Sat there; it was incredibly dim,
Away from the light ‘tween bowl and the rim
And nobody knew he was there
*
The third bad day was really no better,
Stuck inside, looking for paper,
All he could find was a bricklayer’s scraper,
And nobody knew he was there.
*
The fourth bad day was a terrible mess,
Stuck in that place, amidst smell and cess,
Then he slipped on the floor and hurt – you can guess,
And nobody knew he was there.
*
CONTD
As bonkers as conkers, that’s how it goes,
As bonkers as conkers, as plain as you nose,
Crazymad fun tines are coming your way,
As bonkers as conkers – hurray!
****************
I love to have a beer with Duncan
I love to have a beer with Dunc.
We drink in moderation
And we never ever ever get rollin’ drunk
We drink at the Town and Country
Where the atmosphere is great
I love to have a beer with Duncan
‘Cause Duncan’s me mate, yeah
I love to have a beer with Colin
I love to have a beer with Col.
We drink in moderation
And it doesn’t really matter if he brings his doll
We drink at the Town and Country
Where the atmosphere is great
I love to have a beer with Colin
‘Cause Colin’s me mate, mm-mm-mm
I love to have a beer with Kevin
Oh I love to have a beer with Kev.
We drink in moderation
And he drives me home in his big old Chev.
We drink at the Town and Country
Where the atmosphere is great
I love to have a beer with Kevin
‘Cause Kevin’s me mate
I love to have a beer with Patrick
I love to have a beer with Pat
We drink in moderation
And it wouldn’t really matter if the beer was flat
We drink at the Town and Country
Where the atmosphere is great
I love to have a beer with Patrick
‘Cause Patrick’s me mate – Change key
I love to have a beer with Robert
I love to have a beer with Bob
We drink in moderation
Just one more and back on the job
We drink at the Town and Country
Where the atmosphere is great
I love to have a beer with Robert
‘Cause Robert’s me mate
I love to have a beer with Duncan
Oh I love to have a beer with Dunc.
We drink in moderation
And we never ever ever get rollin’ drunk
We drink at the Town and Country
Where the atmosphere is great
I love to have a beer with Duncan
‘Cause Duncan’s me mate.
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 