I think that I shall never be,
Sold on artificial trees.
A Christmas tree with plastic limbs
Just doesn’t stir me up to hymns.
*
A tree with needles made of foil,
From a factory instead of soil,
Although it will not burst nor shed,
It neither is alive nor dead.
*
Perennial, yes, it may rightly be,
And formed in perfect symmetry,
But only God can make a tree,
To suit old fashioned souls like me.
A Norway Spruce Christmas tree for me.
When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones,
Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure building up. Then, Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit. This news stressed him even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were nowhere to be seen.
When Santa began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked and the bag full of toys fell to the ground, scattering them far and wide. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel
with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day?
I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
The Crazymad Writer 