Fifty Shades of Grey …..Hair
By John Summers (a really great bloke).
The missus bought a
Paperback down Mumbles, Saturday,
I had a look in to her bag;
T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Fifty shades of gray
*
Well I just left her to it,
At ten I went to bed.
And, one hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
*
In her left hand, she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
*
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.
*
Watching Doris bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things they went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
*
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and
Said that I must dominate her!!
*
Now if you knew our Doris,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
From our last complaint, I uttered.
*
She stood there nude, all naked like;
Bent forward just a bit…
I went to hold her sensuously,
And stood on her left tit!
*
Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!
*
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say, my jet black hair,
Turned “fifty shades of Grey”.
******
The Crazymad Writer 
John Summers
February 25, 2014 at 4:11 pm
Author here … John Summers (google it! 🙂 ) … dont mind post but wouldnt mind attribution ! 🙂
Also, amazingly, you have the original version including ‘Mumbles’ …. every other version on the net has been changed in some way or other and …. often attributed to Pam Ayres … grrrrrrr 🙂
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The Crazymad Writer
February 25, 2014 at 4:38 pm
Will do, and quickly to boot. I only came across it yesterday, and loved it to bits.
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John Summers
February 27, 2014 at 10:58 am
Just couple of things 🙂 …
From our last mad sex, I muttered
—- should be
From the last complaint I’d uttered
and
She stood there nude, all naked like;
Bent forward just a bit…
So I thought what the hell,
Stepped forward,
but stood on her left tit!
— should be
She stood there nude, all naked like;
Bent forward just a bit…
I went to hold her sensuously
and stood on her left tit!
… whatever !!! 🙂
Cheers
John
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The Crazymad Writer
February 27, 2014 at 11:52 am
Hello again John. I have amended the poem accordingly. Have you any other ones that you would like to see published here?
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