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Fifty Shades of Grey …..Hair

24 Feb

Fifty Shades of Grey …..Hair

By John Summers (a really great bloke).

The missus bought a
Paperback down Mumbles, Saturday,
I had a look in to her bag;
T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Fifty shades of gray

*

Well I just left her to it,
At ten I went to bed.
And, one hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.

*

In her left hand, she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

*

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.

*

Watching Doris bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things they went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

*

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and
Said that I must dominate her!!

*

Now if you knew our Doris,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
From our last complaint, I uttered.

*

She stood there nude, all naked like;
Bent forward just a bit…
I went to hold her sensuously,
And stood on her left tit!

*

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!

*

Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say, my jet black hair,
Turned “fifty shades of Grey”.

******

 
4 Comments

Posted by on February 24, 2014 in joke

 

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4 responses to “Fifty Shades of Grey …..Hair

  1. John Summers

    February 25, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    Author here … John Summers (google it! 🙂 ) … dont mind post but wouldnt mind attribution ! 🙂

    Also, amazingly, you have the original version including ‘Mumbles’ …. every other version on the net has been changed in some way or other and …. often attributed to Pam Ayres … grrrrrrr 🙂

    Like

     
    • The Crazymad Writer

      February 25, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      Will do, and quickly to boot. I only came across it yesterday, and loved it to bits.

      Like

       
  2. John Summers

    February 27, 2014 at 10:58 am

    Just couple of things 🙂 …

    From our last mad sex, I muttered
    —- should be
    From the last complaint I’d uttered

    and

    She stood there nude, all naked like;
    Bent forward just a bit…
    So I thought what the hell,
    Stepped forward,
    but stood on her left tit!

    — should be

    She stood there nude, all naked like;
    Bent forward just a bit…
    I went to hold her sensuously
    and stood on her left tit!

    … whatever !!! 🙂

    Cheers
    John

    Like

     
    • The Crazymad Writer

      February 27, 2014 at 11:52 am

      Hello again John. I have amended the poem accordingly. Have you any other ones that you would like to see published here?

      Like

       

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