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Daily Archives: February 25, 2014

If I was a wealthy man

 

Here is one million dollars for you.

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where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

 

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2014 in humor, humour

 

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Noddy and Big Ears were out driving one day

Noddy and Big ears were out driving one day,

When they heard that poor Golliwog, he just could not stay,

He’s politically incorrect, they was told by their peers,

Golliwog must go — do we make ourselves clear?

*

Golliwog must go, but how can that be?

He is our dear friend — it just cannot be!

We have had such good times with him and his kin,

Golliwog, you stay, they said with a grin.

*

Leaning down harder on Noddy and friend,

Their peers chastised them with their words once again,

The powers that be say he is not good for the land,

Or the people within it: Golliwog is banned!

*

Golliwog is banned? Now we know that you’re bad,

Said Noddy and Big Ears, (they were getting quite mad),

To punish our friend, to exile him in disgrace,

Just because of his skin and the look of his face!

*

Fighting back harder, Noddy and Big Ears they sang,

We’ll bring you to court, the highest in the land,

We’ll tell then you are racist, for denying our friend,

Our dearest friend, Golliwog, because of his skin.

*

Aghast and bamboozled that their case it was lost,

Their peers relinquished their grip on the fiendish old plot,

Okay, she said, Golliwog can stay,

Hurray, Noddy cheered, come on, let’s play!

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sparkClick HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

 

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 

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Laughing Larry

Laughing Larry

From the story  I wrote, ‘Harry Rotter’

 

I am Laughing Larry, Laughing Larry today,

I am laughing Larry, Laughing Larry hey hey!

You may think I’m not too serious, and I might even agree,

But I’m still Laughing Larry, Laughing Larry hee hee.

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Harry Potter?

No, silly. it’s Harry ROTTER.

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sparkClick HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

 

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 

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There was a woman, so fat

There was a woman, so fat,

She didn’t know where she was at,

Her front and back were so round and so fat,

She looked like a ball; it’s a fact.

**********

Click HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

 

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 

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There was a baby called Sam

There was a baby called Sam,

Who fell right out of his pram,

He landed on his head,

Then rubbed it and said,

I will never go up there again.

**********

Click HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

 

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 

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There was an old man with a hat

There was an old man with a hat,

Who got confused and thought it a cat,

So he gave it some meat and milk as a treat,

Then he put it out side for a crap.

**********

Click HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

 

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 

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I am a Cat, it said smiling at her…

I am a Cat, it said smiling at her,

A Cheshire Cat, you can tell by my fur,

My paws and whiskers are also a hint,

But the smile on my face is most significant.

*

I can see by your fur, said Alice – I do,

And also your paws and whiskers – it’s true,

But that smile on your face has me all in a tizz,

Coming and going in such a whiz.

*

Still smiling at Alice, the Cat dryly replied,

You’d never believe me; you’d think I had lied,

If the smile on my face was gone – it’s a fact,

No one would listen or look at this Cat.

*

Without offering Alice the chance to reply,

The Cat went on with his horrible lie,

Creeping closer and closer, until ever so near,

When he pounced, lashed out, cutting her ear.

*

Feeling the hurt and the blood running down,

Alice said, Oh, I was such a clown,

To have ever believed a Cat with a grin,

Take that, and that, you horrible thing!

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A Christmas Carol Betwixt

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where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

 

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There was a Young Man called Sam

There was a young man called Sam,

Who decided to live in a pan,

Then one day will at home,

He was burned to the bone,

When he mother fried eggs in that pan,

**********

Click HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

 

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 

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Daddy Fell into the Pond

Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
Then Daddy fell into the pond!

And everyone’s face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
“Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He’s crawling out of the duckweed!” Click!

Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,
And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
Oh, there wasn’t a thing that didn’t respond
When Daddy Fell into the pond!

By Alfred Noyes

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I don’t care WHAT you call me

as long as you enjoy reading my stories.

eBooks for children; fantasy stories.

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2014 in humor, humour, poems

 

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A really Funny Horse Joke

Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey the way to get him to go is to scream Thank God.

Jim nodded his head, “fine with me, can I take him for a test run?”

Jim was having the time of his life this horse sure could run he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead “stop!” screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried he could not remember the words to get it to stop. “yoyo” screamed Jim but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered “heyhey!” Jim screamed. The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff.

Jim could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raise his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction “Thank God.”

 

I don’t care what you call me

as long as you enjoy reading my stories.

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2014 in humor, humour, joke

 

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