RSS

Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer

Unknown's avatar

About The Crazymad Writer

FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, that's what I say, FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, courtesy of ME, The Crazymad Writer. Stories for children and young at heart adults. And remember, my eBooks are FREE FREE FREE!

Dunking the Mouse

13 Mar

Dunking the Mouse

 Dunking the Mouse, Oh, Dunking the Mouse,

 What can be better than dunking the Mouse?

 Be it with a fine friend like the Rabbit, so stout,

 Or on my old lonesome, I love dunking the Mouse.

 *

I open the pot and stick his head in,

 And before he’s awoken he’s half the way in.

 With Rabbit a-helping, we finish the job,

 Then put the lid on, though Mouse is beginning to sob.

 *

‘Oh please let me out’, he implore us, so meek,

 But why should we do that when the tea tastes so sweet?

 ‘Oh give me a cup of that heavenly brew’,

 Says Rabbit to me, ‘and a jam tart for you’.

 *

So I pour out two cups and we sit down anew,

 With the tea and the tarts – and with Mouse in the brew,

 Until Alice strolls by, and unsettles our ruse,

 Saving Mouse from his fate and us from the noose.

***************

sparkClick HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 13, 2014 in Alice in Wonderland, humor, humour, poems, Stories for children

 

Tags: ,

DUSN

13 Mar

Oh my God, what happened?

DUSN is in my eye,

This terrible thing has happened,

And I don’t know why,

A worm entered my poor little eye,

Blow my nose and bye, bye eye.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 13, 2014 in news

 

Tags: , , ,

Shadow People

13 Mar

A shadow person (also known as a shadow figure, shadow being or black mass, is believed by skeptics to be a type of hallucination where the subject perceives a patch of shadow in their peripheral vision to be a living, humanoid figure. However, paranormal researcher Heidi Hollis has expressed the belief that shadow people are malevolent supernatural entities.

A number of religions, legends, and belief systems describe shadowy spiritual beings or supernatural entities such as shades of the underworld, and various shadowy creatures have long been a staple of folklore and ghost stories.

Several physiological and psychological conditions can account for reported experiences of shadow people. These include sleep paralysis, illusions, or hallucinations brought on by physiological or psychological circumstances, drug use or side effects of medication, and the interaction of external agents on the human body. Another reason that could be behind the illusion is sleep deprivation, which may lead to hallucinations.

Heidi Hollis’ appearances on the Coast to Coast AM late night radio radio talk show helped popularize modern beliefs in shadow people. Hollis described them as dark silhouettes with human shapes and profiles that flicker in and out of peripheral vision, and claimed that people had reported the figures attempting to “jump on their chest and choke them”. She believes they can be repelled by invoking “the name of Jesus”.

Although participants in online discussion forums devoted to paranormal and supernatural topics describe them as menacing, other believers and paranormal authors do not agree that shadow people are either evil, helpful, or neutral, and some even speculate that shadow people may be the extra-dimensional inhabitants of another universe. Some paranormal investigators and authors such as Chad Stambaugh claim to have recorded images of shadow people on video.

Shadow people feature in two episodes of ITV paranormal documentary series Extreme Ghost Stories, where they are described as “black masses”.

*******************************

sparkClick HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 13, 2014 in Stories for children

 

Tags: , , ,

HO HO

13 Mar

A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911 (999), gave his address, to report the prowlers and possible burglary. The operator at the other end said “Are they in your house?” He said they were not, only in his storage shed in back of the house. The operator said there were no cars available at that time. He thanked the operator, hung up the phone and counted to 30 and called again. “I just called you about prowlers in my storage shed. Well you do not have to worry, as I just shot them all dead!” Within seconds there were 3 police cars, an ambulance and fire engine at the scene. After capturing the prowlers red-handed, the policeman asked the caller, “I thought you said you had shot them all!” The man answered, “I thought you said there were no police available!”

****************************************

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 13, 2014 in Stories for children

 

Tags: , ,

HA HA

13 Mar

This man comes through a door to the bar and slipped on a pile of crap, he mumbles and brushes himself off. He orders a drink and sits down. A few minutes later a younger man walks through the door yelling and screaming, and he slips on the pile of crap. He gets up and looks around, and then he sits down next to the older guy. The older man says, “I did that!” The younger man punches the old man and leaves.

**************************
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 13, 2014 in Stories for children

 

Tags: ,

Blessington Lake

12 Mar

Blessington Lake, a place so surreal,

Where water joins land and matter joins meal,

A place of distinction renowned far and near,

A place of great solitude, but it covers a fear…

*

You see, this expanse of great water is hiding an act

A village that was covered long ago; it’s a fact.

Deep under the water it’s slumbering until.

The day it’s exposed again, resurrected, unfilled

*

Every now and again, when the weather’s so dry,

The depth of these waters, lowering at bit at a time,

Reveal the hamlet, usually beneath its cruel wake,

The streets and the cobbles, the houses in the lake.

*

When this comes about, bones surly move,

Rising up from the mud; it’s a fact, it’s been proved!

Pre-ambling about, amongst the ruins of their lives,

Rekindling old friendships, I tell you no lie.

*

The waters soon returning mire over it all,

Drowning the ghosts, the streets and the halls,

And no one will know or suspect that below,

Are the bones of lost loved ones asleep in that hole.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 12, 2014 in Ireland

 

Tags: , ,

Altamont Gardens

12 Mar

Altamont Gardens, standing alone,

Is a vision of excellence; garden and home.

Standing so proud, yet hidden from view,

Altamont Gardens is waiting for YOU.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Go visit it today!

 
4 Comments

Posted by on March 12, 2014 in Ireland, poems

 

Tags: , ,

Ireland is (sadly) a Cesspit

12 Mar

Ireland is a cesspit,

Mired by bankers’ waste,

Brought down by their corruption,

Destroyed – and with such haste.

*

Where, oh where is the justice,

To punish these men of shame,

To make THEM pay for what they did,

Why aren’t THEY held to blame?

*

Why is it us, the average man,

And woman who takes the pain?

What did WE do, to be punished so,

We are CERTAINLY not to blame.

*

I think it’s all a part of some,

Big plan by those up high,

To take control of the world’s affairs,

To enslave us until we die.

 *

You might laugh me, and say I’m mad,

Thinking such things – and how,

But the day will come; you’ll see that I’m right,

I only wish you’d see it now.

*

I say remove those jerks, those men in suits,

Each and every one,

Politicians too; they are just as bad,

Don’t rest until they are all gone.

*

Let’s start a New World Order, I say,

In which we, the people, soar high,

Where we can live in peace and wealth,

Unchained from corrupt men’s lies.

 *

This day will come, make no mistake,

Men in suits, bereft of sense,

You will be punished, held accountable,

You’ll get your comeuppance!

*******************

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 12, 2014 in humor, humour, Ireland, poems

 

Tags: , , , ,

Here we go Round the Mulberry Bush

12 Mar

Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush

Here we go round the mulberry bush on a cold and frosty morning

*

This is the way jump out of bed, jump out of bed, jump out of bed

This is the way jump out of bed on a cold and frosty morning

*

Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush

Here we go round the mulberry bush on a cold and frosty morning

*

This is the way we run downstairs, run downstairs, run downstairs

This is the way we run downstairs on a cold and frosty morning

*

Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush

Here we go round the mulberry bush on a cold and frosty morning

*

This is the way we mitch from school, mitch from school, mitch from school

This is the way we mitch from school on a cold and frosty morning

*

Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush

Here we go round the mulberry bush on a cold and frosty morning

*

Here we go gathering nuts in May, nuts in May, nuts in May

Here we go gathering nuts in May away from school this morning

*

‘Oh, those naughty, naughty children!’

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 12, 2014 in nursery rhymes, poems

 

Tags: , ,

Mary had a ‘Little’ Lamb

12 Mar

Mary had a ‘little’ lamb so round, so fat and plump,

It tried to follow her everywhere but it couldn’t even jump.

*

One day when Mary was not at home it set off in a trot,

Searching all about the place to see just where she’d got.

*

Despite it searching everywhere the poor lamb could not see,

That Mary had eloped and gone with Jill’s young Jack, hee, hee.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 12, 2014 in nursery rhymes, poems

 

Tags: ,

← Older posts
Newer posts →