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Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer

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About The Crazymad Writer

FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, that's what I say, FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, courtesy of ME, The Crazymad Writer. Stories for children and young at heart adults. And remember, my eBooks are FREE FREE FREE!

I Have a Little Satnav, by Pam Ayres

I have a little Satnav; it sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver’s friend it tells you where you are.

I have a little Satnav; I’ve had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive
“It’s sixty miles an hour”, it says, “You’re doing sixty five”.

It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake
And tells me that it’s never ever, Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively, Just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear
And taking this into account, It specifies my gear.

I’m sure no other driver, has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car, It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling, each journey’s pretty fraught
So why don’t I exchange it, And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I’m properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off

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Posted by on September 14, 2015 in funny story, humor, humour, poems

 

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They are chickens, Jim, but not as we know them!

Giant chickens:

A bizarre, cruel trend in Brazil

 
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Posted by on September 10, 2015 in Horror

 

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Where is the Humanity?

Where is the humanity?

razorbackwriteraus's avatarrazorbackwriteraus

The visions on the screen haunt my waking hours

People suffering in so many ways, so many places

It’s hard to fathom it all

My heart cries and my voice shouts at the screen

The world is mad, I tell myself

The compassion and humanity I yearn to see, replaced by desensitization

What ever happened to the Great Australian nation?

Men in suits with agendas that have nothing to do with the chaos

Twisting their words, spun into grand ideals that bare no fruit

When did the public voice go unheard?

Even the average Joe knows dropping bombs won’t solve a thing

It’s a war that no one can win

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Posted by on September 10, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Wee Willie Winkie – Take Two

Wee Willie Winkie
Runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his night gown,
Rapping at the windows,
Crying through the locks,
I’ve lost my keys, my feet are cold,
THERE ARE HOLES IN MY SOCKS!

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LM Ericsson

LM Ericsson

Did you work in this company during the 1970s?

If you did, please let me know. Thanks.

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Posted by on August 12, 2015 in 1970s

 

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Australia – It is a big country.

Australia sure is a BIG country!

razorbackwriteraus's avatarrazorbackwriteraus

To everyone around the world this map helps explain what we Aussies are always going on about…its a big country!!

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Posted by on August 12, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

A Cuddly Koala

I am a koala, it said smiling at her,
A cuddly koala, you can tell by my fur,
My paws and claws give also a hint,
And the smile on my face is significant.

*
I can see by your fur, Alice answered, I do,
And also your paws and claws; it’s true,
But the look on your face has me all in a whirl,
A smiling koala is alien to this girl.

*

Still smiling at Alice, the koala replied,
You’d never believe me; you’d think I had lied,
If the smile on my face was gone; it’s the truth,
No one would believe in this koala, forsooth.

*

Without offering Alice the chance to reply,
The marsupial went on with his horrible lie,
Creeping closer and closer, until ever so near,
He pounced, lashed out, and cut her left ear.

*

Feeling the hurt and the blood running down,
Alice said, I was such a sad clown,
To have listened to you, an animal smiler,
Take that, and that, you horrible liar!

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Wonderland – gone MAD.

************

I am not Roald Dahl

 

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House for sale

House for sale in Australia

Needs some TLC

Australian house

 
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Posted by on August 2, 2015 in Australia

 

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Ten Golden Groats

Ten Golden Groats

Read all about them in my FREE eBook

Wot, Nott, Kakuri and the HU BA HOU

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Posted by on July 31, 2015 in free, free ebooks

 

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Keep Calm – It’s Monday!

Keep Calm – It’s Monday!

I am not Roald Dahl

It’s Monday; it came so fast,
Monday; I am aghast.
Where are the days? (They flew so fast),
As closer to the grave I pass.
If I could have that time again,
What changes I would make.

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courtesy of The Crazymad Writer

ARRRRGH!

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Posted by on July 28, 2015 in Keep Calm

 

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