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Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer

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About The Crazymad Writer

FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, that's what I say, FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, courtesy of ME, The Crazymad Writer. Stories for children and young at heart adults. And remember, my eBooks are FREE FREE FREE!

It’s Monday!

May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness and tied with love. Good morning! Happy Monday!!

Every morning is a wonderful blessing from God. It stands for hope which gives us another start at what we call Life. Have a good morning and great day! Happy Monday!!

The difference between me and a bear is the thought of you couldn’t make me hibernate for more than 7 hours. Good morning. Happy Monday!

A morning thought, a morning prayer, a morning wish for a good person who makes a good morning for other peoples’ lives. May God bless you always. Happy Monday!!

The breeze has awakened the earth, The sun gave brightness to the earth, Birds gave melodious music to the earth, Then its the time to wish my sweet friend Good morning. Happy Monday.

roald dahl

 
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Posted by on May 18, 2015 in poems

 

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Sunday

Treating Each Day As A Sunday

A Poem by Nikhil Parekh

God created all seven days of the week alike; to bask
in the glory of Nature’s bountiful endowment and
enjoy,
It was man who embraced a festoon of spurious
idiosyncrasies; frolicking in the aisles of divinely
heaven only on a Sunday; while he perspired worse
than a dog; on all other days…
God created all seven days of the week alike; to
poignantly blend with the mesmerizing beauty of this
colossal Universe,
It was man who murdered himself with his own framework
of rules; celebrating only on a Sunday; while he
tossed and squirmed like an insipid worm; all other
days…
God created all seven days of the week alike; to
majestically fulfill your duties; let the enchanting
stream of shimmering moonlight; pacify you beyond
eternal times,
It was man who disdainfully messed up life with
manipulative business; ruling like an unconquerable
king on a Sunday; while he literally licked the dust
of the roads; on all other days…
God created all seven days of the week alike; to
philanthropically march ahead with all living kind;
soar through the crimson clouds with a desire to be
triumphant glittering in your eyes,
It was man who coined tyrannical definitions of his
own; rejoiced and hugged his family only on a Sunday;
while critically lambasting them with his frustration;
on all other days…
God created all seven days of the week alike; to dance
in the aisles of uninhibited freedom; benevolently
assist your ailing mates in inexplicable pain,
It was man who acted more insanely than the
devastatingly insane; adventuring through the hills
only on a Sunday; while he compellingly measured each
of his nonchalant footsteps; on all other days…
God created all seven days of the week alike; to test
your true mettle on this planet; celestially sleep in
synergy with the unveiling of the gloriously star
studded night,
It was man who profoundly consulted the heinous devil;
tossing his children only on a Sunday; while kicking
them in the uncouth world outside to earn their own
bread; on all other days…
God created all seven days of the week alike; to
rhapsodically inhale the scent of roses; romance and
disseminate the gift of love; as each night descended
by,
It was man who savagely chopped his own feet with his
axe; feeling the richest man alive only on a Sunday;
while he spat irrevocably on his own treasury of
brilliant fortune; on all other days…
God created all seven days of the week alike; to
explore and unite with all the exotically wonderful
organisms wandering on mother earth,
It was man who wanted to consume knives instead of
supper; wholeheartedly unleashing his heart out only
on a Sunday; while he jailed himself and his comrades
together in a jail of claustrophobic despair; on all
other days….
And if you couldn’t listen to God; I know for sure you
would never listen to me; even if I quit life to tell
you; to live life like a king; each day of the week,
Don’t worry I have better alternatives still; you
remain blessed writhing like a commercial commodity
all your lives; while I was definitely the wealthiest
man alive; treating each day as a Sunday.

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2015 in poems

 

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Rover 213

Rover 213 

 

Rover 213 wanted

*****************

Rover 213 s wanted

 
 

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Mad Mr Viscous

Mad Mr Viscous,

a free eBook

courtesy of  the Crazymad Writer

free eBook download

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2015 in free, free ebooks

 

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Polytar, anyone?

Does anyone know where I can buy Polytar shampoo?

 Polytar shampoo

 

 
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Posted by on April 29, 2015 in news

 

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Mind my Unguarded Brain

Johnny was a barber; he loved his job, he did,
Cutting people’s hair and mowing other wigs.
Until one day he reeled back, shocked by what he saw,
A hole in the head of a customer, a man so old and poor,
Why don’t you go to the doctor? he asked the man out loud,
To get it fixed, filled in quick, that’s what I’d do, he cried,
No, I can’t do that, the old man then answered him,
I’ve had it there for forty years; it’s a part of me, he grinned,
I would miss that hole in my head; he went on to explain,
Please trim my hair but mind my unguarded brain.

free eBooks for everyone!

Free eBooks for everyone!

**************

I am not Roald Dahl

It’s the way I tell ’em, so it is!

 

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Tins and Junk

Tins and junk, so good to eat,
And garbage scraps are tasty treats.
Trolls swear by them; I’ll try a bit,
They taste SO BAD I am going to be sick.

Bolf at the Crazymad Writer's blog

 
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Posted by on April 27, 2015 in funny story

 

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Skulduggery’s Afoot

Skulduggery’s Afoot

Skulduggery’s afoot; did you hear him say,
Trouble’s abroad, that means TODAY.
It’s time to face the Faceless Ones,
Skulduggery and friend; his best number one.

Skulduggery is dead; he is only some bones,
Traipsing through of Dublin, appearing alone
And just as we think he is finished – again,
Valkyrie appears and saves her best friend.

Derek Landy, a cabbage farmer by trade,
Was inspired to create said detective and aid,
While tending his crops in the field one day,
He shouted, Eureka, I have it; I’m made!

I won’t have to tend cabbages anymore,
Working the fields until my back is so sore,
Skulduggery and partner will give me it all,
Money and fame; I will have such a ball!

It’s goodbye from Derek and adios from me,
He’s off to the bank and I’m off to a field,
Searching through cabbages for ideas of my own,
Like The Crazymad Detective with a sidekick called Bones.

Nah, that’s no good, it’s too corny; let me see…
Ah, I have it, Doctor Bones and his Travelling Palaces.
That certainly has a ring to it.
You want to know what Travelling Palace are?
Hah, that’s easy to explain.
No, I won’t tell you! Read Alice in Wonderland Christmas.
And when you have read it you will understand just what they are.

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Posted by on April 24, 2015 in fantasy story

 

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I’m Not Mad!

I’m not mad; mad, mad, mad,
I’m not mad, not me!
I’m not mad, mad, mad, mad,
I’m not mad, hee hee.
I’M NOT MAD!
We’ll, not so much that anyone would notice, would they?

I am not Roald Dahl

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Courtesy of The Crazymad Writer.

**************************

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He Thought He Saw…

Fat cat at the Crazymad Writer's blog

He thought he saw a politician,
Who lived the perfect life,
He looked again, and saw it was,
A huge, humongous lie .
That’s it, he said, I realise,
The foolishness of life.

It’s a mess

He thought he saw an honest man,
Within the parliament,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Another bloated blimp.
Unless they leave this house,” he said,
There’ll be no hope, I think.”

It’s a real mess!

He thought he saw a banker man,
Who made an honest buck,
He looked again, and saw he was,
Entwined in all the muck.
If I were king, he said,
His head would be on the block.

It’s a terrible mess!

He thought he saw a banker’s clerk,
A man of honest youth,
He looked again, and saw he was,
A succubus forsooth.
If he should stay, he said, for sure,
My savings I will lose.

Crikey, what a mess!

He thought he saw a kangaroo,
Hopping down his street one day,
He looked again, and saw it was,
A banker’s ill gained pay.
Were I to accept this, he said,
It would be a dark, dark day.

Mess, mess, mess!

He though he saw limousine,
With groom and bride, so sweet,
He looked again, and saw it was,
The country on its knees.
We’re lost, he said, the country’s bust,
Kaput, no more, deceased.

Fix the mess!

He though he saw a shaft of light,
That shone through all this gloom,
He looked again, and saw it was,
The cold, reflected moon.
If I were young, he said aloud,
I’d make them swing – and soon!

Get those who are responsible for the mess!

He though he saw a chink of light,
A way from all this mess,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Their New World Order – yes!
Their ways are bad, corrupt, he said
For them, not us, excess.

And when we get them, what are we going to do with them?

He thought he saw the final words,
Inscribed upon a sheet,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Them sweating from the heat.
They thought us fools, he sorely said,
Come on, we have lives to live!

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Posted by on April 22, 2015 in humor, humour, Ireland, politics

 

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