Austin Princess at Christmas
Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me feet
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me feet,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the miles that I walked,
And the shoes that I bought,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me feet.
*
I wish I’d been that much more willin’
And provided more space for the fillin’
To pass up winklepickers,
From respect to me kippers
And to buy something else with me shillin’.
*
When I think of the miles that I trekked,
And the hills that I climbed without a heck,
Potholes, big and little,
Ruined my feet, so very brittle,
My kippers are horribly fecked.
*
My Mother, she told me no end,
“Good feet are always your friends”
I was young then, and brainless,
My shoe choice so careless,
I never had much time to spend.
*
Oh I showed them the new shoes so bright,
I flashed them about with delight,
But up-and-down walkin’
And kickin’ and rushin’
Played havoc with my dainty delights.
*
If I’d known I was paving the way,
To verrucae, corns and decay,
The pain of arthritis,
Gout and detritus,
I’d have thrown all me show shoes away.
*
So I sit in the podiatrist’s chair,
And I hear his diagnosis in despair,
Telling me what I should have done,
And the shoes I should have donned,
“They’ll only last,” he’ll say, “for a few more days.”
*
How I laughed at my Mother’s false leg,
As she struggled with it clunkin’ beneath,
But now comes the reckonin’
It’s me it is beckonin’
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me feet.
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I may not be Roald Dahl…
I may not be Roald Dahl, J K Rowling, Darren Shan or even Derek Landy, but I am The Crazymad Writer – and proud of it!
Hello and welcome to my CRAZYMAD website, a place where I try to share with you, the reader, an impression of what it has been like, having to live through, to endure the many weird, wacky and oftentimes wonderful situations that I have found myself in during my CRAZYMAD life. I have no idea why such things happened to me – but they did. All that that I can think of, can say by way of explanation, is that we all experience CRAZYMAD things during our brief stay on earth, but most of us erase them from our consciousness, preferring to recall only the mundane day-to-day situations, that we are comfortable with, that help us to fit in and be ‘normal’.
Sadly, our collective consciousness seems to have ‘developed’ to the stage where we prefer to hear and read about celebrities and their lives of vulgar excess, rather than living our own lives in which we can follow own dreams and do almost anything we want, if we feel so inclined, that is.
I invite you to read my CRAZYMAD stories about my CRAZYMAD life. And when you have read them, I strongly urge you to look deep within yourself, and to live your own CRAZYMAD life to the full. Meanwhile, sit back and enjoy the read, and know you this; each and every one of the stories about me is true!
I am a poor writer
I am a poor writer, this is quite true,
Writing my stories for each one of you,
Tales to intrigue entertain and delight,
And I will do it until the day that I die.
If you were to ask me, why do I bother at all?
Competing against Shan Rowling and Dahl,
I would answer; I LOVE it, writing stories each day,
And if I got famous I would appreciate the pay!















