RSS

Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer

Unknown's avatar

About The Crazymad Writer

FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, that's what I say, FREE EBOOKS FOR ALL, courtesy of ME, The Crazymad Writer. Stories for children and young at heart adults. And remember, my eBooks are FREE FREE FREE!

A Christmas Princess

Austin Princess at Christmas

Austin Princess

 

Tags: , ,

Twas the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
*
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,
*
Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
*
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
*
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
*
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St. Nicholas too.
*
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
*
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
*
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
*
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.
*
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
*
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
*
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”

christmas stories by the Crazymad Writer

Merry Christmas, everyone!

 

Tags: ,

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me feet

free eBooks

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me feet,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the miles that I walked,
And the shoes that I bought,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me feet.

*

I wish I’d been that much more willin’
And provided more space for the fillin’
To pass up winklepickers,
From respect to me kippers
And to buy something else with me shillin’.

*

When I think of the miles that I trekked,
And the hills that I climbed without a heck,
Potholes, big and little,
Ruined my feet, so very brittle,
My kippers are horribly fecked.

*

My Mother, she told me no end,
“Good feet are always your friends”
I was young then, and brainless,
My shoe choice so careless,
I never had much time to spend.

*

Oh I showed them the new shoes so bright,
I flashed them about with delight,
But up-and-down walkin’
And kickin’ and rushin’
Played havoc with my dainty delights.

*

If I’d known I was paving the way,
To verrucae, corns and decay,
The pain of arthritis,
Gout and detritus,
I’d have thrown all me show shoes away.

*

So I sit in the podiatrist’s chair,
And I hear his diagnosis in despair,
Telling me what I should have done,
And the shoes I should have donned,
“They’ll only last,” he’ll say, “for a few more days.”

*

How I laughed at my Mother’s false leg,
As she struggled with it clunkin’ beneath,
But now comes the reckonin’
It’s me it is beckonin’
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me feet.

free eBooks

 
 

Tags: , , ,

FREE EBOOK DOWNLOADS – but only until Christmas

My eBooks are FREE TO DOWNLOAD

A Merry Christmas present

From The Crazymad Writer to you!

Click HERE to download my free eBooks

A new Alice in Wonderland story.

An Alice in Wonderland Christmas story

The Tales of Beetle About at the Crazymad Writer's blog

Tales of Childhood by the Crazymad Writer

Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff, courtesy of the Crazymad Writer

the three faerie sisters, by the Crazymad Writer

A Christmas Fairytale by the Crazymad Writer

Jimmy, The Glue Factory and Mad Mr Viscous  by the Crazymad Writer

The Witches by the Crazymad Writer

A Christmas Carol Betwixt

 

Tags: , , ,

Mad Eye Moody

Mad Eye Moody – can it really be,
That splendid interpretation, a hero so free?
Who gave us his all for the cry of the truth,
So we could remember that good is forsooth.

Oh, yes, they can Twitter, be it here, be it there,
About American Idol and Celebrities fair,
But can they replace the genius so fine,
Like Rowling and Dahl – or Wilson’s strange mind?
*
When next you are shopping in Wal-Mart, I think,
If its bargains you’re after then remember the ink,
On the paper, in the book section, where I’m waiting for sure,
To temp you with my writing and to open the door.
*
And when that door has been opened, my world of strange stuff,
Will entrance and beguile you; the air will be hushed,
As you read about Alice, the Cat and the Mouse,
Harry Rotter and Jimmy – and Beetle about.
*
Forget about Powerball, cars and the news,
Never mind Danny Choo – who is he? I muse
Wikipedia doesn’t know me but, heck, do I care?
When I’ve got so many readers in the real world, out there.

I am not Roald Dahl

Stories for children and brave enough adults.

 

Tags: , , ,

I may not be Roald Dahl…

I may not be Roald Dahl, J K Rowling, Darren Shan or even Derek Landy, but I am The Crazymad Writer – and proud of it!
Hello and welcome to my CRAZYMAD website, a place where I try to share with you, the reader, an impression of what it has been like, having to live through, to endure the many weird, wacky and oftentimes wonderful situations that I have found myself in during my CRAZYMAD life. I have no idea why such things happened to me – but they did. All that that I can think of, can say by way of explanation, is that we all experience CRAZYMAD things during our brief stay on earth, but most of us erase them from our consciousness, preferring to recall only the mundane day-to-day situations, that we are comfortable with, that help us to fit in and be ‘normal’.
Sadly, our collective consciousness seems to have ‘developed’ to the stage where we prefer to hear and read about celebrities and their lives of vulgar excess, rather than living our own lives in which we can follow own dreams and do almost anything we want, if we feel so inclined, that is.
I invite you to read my CRAZYMAD stories about my CRAZYMAD life. And when you have read them, I strongly urge you to look deep within yourself, and to live your own CRAZYMAD life to the full. Meanwhile, sit back and enjoy the read, and know you this; each and every one of the stories about me is true!

free screensaver

 
 

Tags: , , , , ,

I am a poor writer

I am a poor writer, this is quite true,
Writing my stories for each one of you,
Tales to intrigue entertain and delight,
And I will do it until the day that I die.

If you were to ask me, why do I bother at all?
Competing against Shan Rowling and Dahl,
I would answer; I LOVE it, writing stories each day,
And if I got famous I would appreciate the pay!

mad stories

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 12, 2014 in Darren Shan

 

Tags:

I Am not Darren Shan,

I am NOT, no, no!

I am NOT that man,

How could it be so?

He is something quite different,

From me; it’s a fact,

I am the Crazymad Writer,

Now where is my hat?

My hat

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 12, 2014 in Darren Shan

 

Tags:

Merry Princessmas

austin princess

Or should it be Merry Christmas?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 11, 2014 in Austin Princess, Christmas

 

Tags:

Hilarious Santa Video

Merry Christmas, everyone, from Santa and me.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 10, 2014 in Christmas

 

Tags: , ,