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Category Archives: poems

Circus of the Grotesques

Circus of the Grotesques

Circus of the Grotesques (It Will Change Your Life Forever)

(A song for Doctor Vaude and the people of Ballykillduff)

[Verse 1]
The fog came down on Ballykillduff,
With posters on the wall,
And no one saw the tent go up,
But everyone heard the call.
A shimmer of pearl and shadow black,
A sign with a curious lore:
“Admission, one memory, no refunds—
But you’ll never be quite as before.”

[Chorus]
🎵 Step inside, dear dreamers, step inside and see,
The Circus of the Grotesques, where you trade what used to be.
Give us one small moment that your heart can spare,
We’ll change your life forever—if you’ve the mind to dare. 🎵

[Verse 2]
Madame Tallow of Wax and Whispers danced,
Her words like smoke and fire,
She told your truth before you knew,
And left your thoughts to tire.
The Gentleman Beast in velvet shame,
Spoke softly of his fall—
And every soul in Ballykillduff
Felt beast and man in all.

[Chorus]
🎵 Step inside, dear dreamers, step inside and see,
The Circus of the Grotesques, where your secrets come to be.
We’ll mend your pain and polish your despair,
We’ll change your life forever—if you’ve the mind to dare. 🎵

[Bridge 1]
Clockwork Twins ticked time away,
A minute each for tears,
The Librarian turned blank white pages
Filled with gentle years.
The Cook of Impossible Flavours smiled,
“Have a taste of who you were.”
And somewhere in the tent that night,
The stars began to stir.

[Verse 3]
Norah O’Dea with her toffee stick,
Raised her hand so small,
Said, “I’ll be brave, and I’ll be changed,”
Before them, one and all.
The ringmaster bowed, his smile too bright,
The tent bent close to hear,
And Ballykillduff held its breath—
Between wonderment and fear.

[Chorus — Slower, Lamenting]
🎵 Step inside, dear dreamers, pay the price of air,
One small memory traded, one truth laid bare.
You’ll leave a little lighter, you’ll walk a little strange,
For the Circus of the Grotesques has a gift called change. 🎵

[Bridge 2]
They called her name three times in love,
And once with iron will,
The black salt hissed, the lights went white,
And time stood faintly still.
Norah faced the ringmaster proud,
Her eyes as bright as glass—
She said, “Let’s play a riddle’s game,
To see what comes to pass.”

[Verse 4]
“What grows lighter shared, yet heavy kept?”
The ringmaster asked the air.
Norah smiled, “A story told—
It lives when it’s laid bare.”
Her riddle came like April rain,
“The cost of kind undone?”
He sighed, “A knot within the dark—
Until it’s all unspun.”

[Final Chorus — Triumphant, Soft Echo]
🎵 Step inside, dear dreamers, step inside and see,
The Circus of the Grotesques set your memory free.
What you lose will find you, though it may rearrange,
No refunds ever needed—only change. 🎵

[Outro — Spoken softly, as if by Doctor Vaude]
“Forever,” we promised. “Change,” we gave.
Both are true, and both behave.
So mind your steps, remember the fair,
The tent is gone—but the air is there.

🎵 No refunds… plenty of change. 🎵

 
 

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Steampunk Alice and a Very Mad Hatter

Steampunk Alice and a Very Mad Hatter

In cobbled lanes where gears convene,

Stood Alice, goggled, quite a queen.

Her skirts of bronze, her boots so grand,

A clockwork wonder, wand in hand.

 

Beside her, Hatter, wild and bright,

With fiery hair and eyes alight.

A grin so vast, a teethy show,

“More tea, more steam! Where did time go?”

 

His top hat brimmed with ticking gears,

Ignoring all sensible fears.

For in this world of brass and steam,

A very mad and wondrous dream!

 

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Within the cavern’s crystal-laced embrace

Within the cavern’s crystal-laced embrace

 

Within the cavern’s crystal-laced embrace,

 Young Alice stands, a smile upon her face.

With steady hand, a ladle she does hold,

To stir the secrets of a story told.

 

Beside her, Fle, the aged old elf,

A gentle guide, in verdant clothing self.

He turns the crank of  the arcanum machine,

A bubbly brew, a vibrant, glowing scene.

 

From humble sacks of ‘FERTILIZER’ and ‘SOIL,’

The earthy base for their enchanting toil.

They add the Arcanum, a liquid bright,

A splash of magic in the cavern’s light.

 

The air is thick with whispers of the old,

A tale of wonders, beautiful and bold.

As colors swirl in the machine’s deep bowl,

They mix a potion to enrich the soul.

 

And watching on, a mouse with curious eyes,

Nibbles on cheese beneath the cavern skies.

The scent of magic, a soft, ethereal haze,

Fills Alice and the elf with sweet amaze.

 

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Alice in the Gloaming Glass

Alice in the Gloaming Glass

🕯️ Alice in the Gloaming Glass 🕯️

Through corridors of fractured time,
Alice walked where bells don’t chime.
A moonless sky, a pale-lamped street,
With echoing whispers at her feet.

The Rabbit’s watch had cracked in two,
Its ticking heart now black and blue.
The Hatter’s smile, a ragged seam,
Stretched wide within a broken dream.

The roses bled with ink so dark,
Their thorns aglow with ember’s spark.
The Queen’s red crown was made of bone,
Her scepter carved from hearts of stone.

Alice wandered, calm but wan,
Her shadow twice as long as dawn.
It whispered truths she dared not say,
And tugged her gently far away.

No tea was poured, no riddles told,
Just laughter ringing thin and cold.
The Caterpillar turned to dust,
The Cheshire grinned, then turned to rust.

She reached a glass of iron hue,
That showed not one, but two Alices through.
One smiled sweet, her bow still neat—
The other bared her jagged teeth.

And as the glass began to break,
She knew at last she’d made mistake.
For Wonderland was not a place,
But slumber’s mask upon her face.

She woke in bed, yet not alone…
The grinning girl had followed home.

 

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Alice on Top of the World

Alice on Top of the World

🌟 Alice on Top of the World 🌟

Alice climbed the tower tall,
Above the streets, above it all.
No rabbit late, no ticking clock,
Just breezes dancing ‘round the block.

The rooftops bloomed with flowers bright,
A secret garden kissed by light.
She twirled her skirt, her bow held fast,
And waved at clouds that floated past.

“Hello!” she called to birds in flight,
Who answered back with sheer delight.
The sun on glass made castles gleam,
The city shimmered like a dream.

No Hatter fussed, no Duchess frowned,
No Queen to shout, “Off with her crown!”
Instead she ruled with gentle cheer,
The sky her throne, her realm so near.

Her subjects? Windows, bricks, and bees,
And secret whispers in the breeze.
Her courtiers? Flowers, tall and free,
Her crown? A wreath of greenery.

So Alice laughed, and Alice sang,
Her joy across the skyline rang.
For Wonderland was not below,
But up above, where gardens grow.

And every soul who paused to see,
Felt lighter, brighter, suddenly—
For happiness, when shared, can twirl…
Like Alice, on top of the world.

 

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The Steampunk of Ballykillduff

The Steampunk of Ballykillduff

In Ballykillduff, where the bog-cottons grow,
And tractors move slower than clouds ever go,
There rumbles a marvel of brasswork and puff:
The whistling contraption of Ballykillduff.

Its chimney-stack belches a lavender steam,
Its pistons clank onwards like parts of a dream,
The gears all turn sideways, the wheels spin askew,
And no one can say what it’s meant to do.

The smith in his apron declares with a cough,
“It brews tea at dawn, and it scares crows right off!
It mends broken fences, it churns up the peat,
And plays merry jigs with mechanical feet!”

The priest shook his head and the postman grew pale,
The barber got tangled in coppery rail,
The schoolchildren cheered as it huffed down the lane,
Whistling out sermons in high-tin refrain.

At night by the pub, when the fiddles strike up,
It gulps down the porter from pint glass or cup,
Then sings out in whistles, all clattering gruff—
The wild steampunk wonder of Ballykillduff!

And though it may rattle, and though it may groan,
And sometimes forgets the way home of its own,
The villagers say, with a fond sort of pride:
“It’s daft as a donkey—but ours to ride!”

 

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I wish I’d looked after me brain

I wish I’d looked after me brain

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me brain,

And spotted the perils of strain,

All the thoughts that I thought,

And the knowledge I’d sought,

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me brain.

*

I wish I’d been that much more willin’,

And gave me grey matter a chillin’,

To pass up the worryin’,

And constant hurrying,

And just gave me mind a good fillin’.

*

When I think of the stress that I’ve trekked,

And the problems I solved without a heck,

Anxiety, big and little,

Made me mind, oh, so brittle,

Me neurons are horribly fecked.

*

My Mother, she told me no end,

“A sharp mind is always your friend”

I was young then, and brainless,

Me focus so careless,

I never had much time to spend.

*

Oh I showed them me quick wits so bright,

I flashed them about with delight,

But constant overthinkin’,

And lack of deep sinkin’,

Played havoc with me mental delights.

*

If I’d known I was paving the way,

To confusion, and memory’s decay,

The pain of the dreadin’,

And the fog of the headin’,

I’d have thrown all me worries away.

*

So I sit in the neurologist’s chair,

And I hear his diagnosis in despair,

Telling me what I should have done,

And the rest I should have won,

“It’ll only last,” he’ll say, “for a few more days.”

*

How I laughed at me Mother’s forgettin’,

As she struggled with the past she was lettin’,

But now comes the reckonin’

It’s me it is beckonin’

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me brain.

 
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Posted by on September 8, 2025 in brain, funny story, humor, humour, poems

 

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I wish I’d looked after me teeth

I wish I’d looked after me teeth

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth,

And spotted the perils beneath,

All the fillings I had,

And the root canals so bad,

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth.

*

I wish I’d been that much more willin’

To floss and avoid all the chillin’

To pass up the candy,

From a lack of foresight that’s grandly,

I’d just chew on me food and keep smilin’.

*

When I think of the plaque that I cleaned,

And the cavities that I have screened,

Potholes, big and little,

Ruined my teeth, so very brittle,

My molars are horribly fecked.

*

My Mother, she told me no end,

“Good teeth are always your friends”

I was young then, and brainless,

My oral habits so careless,

I never had much time to spend.

*

Oh I showed them my new mouth so bright,

I flashed them about with delight,

But up-and-down chewin’

And grindin’ and ruin’

Played havoc with my dainty delights.

*

If I’d known I was paving the way,

To gingivitis, decay,

The pain of the grinding,

And the cost of the binding,

I’d have thrown all me candy away.

*

So I sit in the dentist’s chair,

And I hear his diagnosis in despair,

Telling me what I should have done,

And the toothbrush I should have donned,

“They’ll only last,” he’ll say, “for a few more days.”

*

How I laughed at my Mother’s false teeth,

As she struggled with them clunkin’ beneath,

But now comes the reckonin’

It’s me it is beckonin’

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth.

 
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Posted by on September 8, 2025 in humor, humour, poems

 

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The Ballad of Dizziness Day

The Ballad of Dizziness Day

by the Crazymad Poet of Ballykillduff

Oh the world did sway on a curious day,
When the clouds spun ’round like socks in a fray,
And Ballykillduff, in its charming old way,
Woke up to find balance had wandered away.

Sean the Ram did a somersault flip,
The postman delivered a letter to a skip,
The church bell chimed with a hiccup and blip,
And the milk turned itself into strawberry whip.

Mrs McFadden clung tight to a tree,
“That’s my third bush this morning,” said she.
A goat rode a bicycle (accidentally),
And the vicar did cartwheels, shouting “Wheeeee!”

The baker rolled out of his shop like dough,
Shouting, “All my baguettes have learned to go!”
The ducks flew backwards in uneven rows,
And a sheep tried to tango with Farmer Joe’s toes.

Young Nora O’Bannigan spun in a whirl,
Chasing her braid like a dizzy young squirrel.
She tripped on a hedgehog, collided with Pearl,
Then shouted, “I’ve seen three versions of the world!”

The Council convened by the village green pond,
Where they’d buried the Beacon of Anti-Spin Bond.
With goggles, a chicken, and ceremony fond,
They summoned its power with a mystical wand.

Old McGroggin raised high the gold cone,
(While humming a strangely off-key baritone),
And the village fell still with a satisfied groan,
As balance returned—at least to the stone.

But the wobble, my friends, still comes once in a spell,
With tales of the time when Miss Bridie fell
Into a wheelbarrow halfway to Kells,
Still claiming she met a dimension called “Smell.”

So here’s to the Day of the Great Bally Sway,
Where gravity quit and ran far away—
If you’re ever in town when your legs go astray,
You’ll know you’ve arrived on… Dizziness Day!

 
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Posted by on September 3, 2025 in crazy, crazymad, humor, humour, poems

 

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Rotter, What a Trotter!

Harry Rotter, What a Totter!

rotter, what a trotter

Harry Rotter’s quite a sight,
Grinning wide with wicked delight,
Golden curls and polished shoes,
Always plotting mischief’s news.

She pinched the biscuits, hid the jam,
Bamboozled Box, annoyed poor Gran,
Turned the kettle into a frog,
And hexed the neighbour’s yappy dog.

At school she made her teachers swoon,
By swapping chalk with a magic spoon,
And when the head cried, “What a disgrace!”
She vanished entirely—without a trace.

The Privets sigh, “Oh, mercy me!
She’s chaos wrapped in dungarees!”
Yet Harry just winks, without regret:
“The fun’s not started—you ain’t seen yet!

So guard your china, lock your pie,
Check your shoes before you try,
For Harry Rotter’s here to stay—
And she’ll turn your world the wrongest way!

 

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