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Category Archives: The Crazymad Writer

I’m Not Mad!!!

I’m Not Mad!!!


I’m not mad; mad, mad mad,

I’m not mad – not me!

I’m not mad, mad mad, mad,

Mad, mad, mad, oh hee.

I’M NOT MAD, am I?

 
 

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Flying high with The Crazymad Writer

The Crazymad Writer in green

Flying high with The Crazymad Writer

Is it a bird?

Or is it a plane?

No, it’s The Crazymad Writer!!!

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I am a Mad Writer, a Crazymad Man

I am a Mad Writer, a Crazymad Man

I am a mad writer,
A craymad man
The crazymad writer,
In rural Ireland,
I live in an old shack,
Writing each day
My stories for children,
Do you want them? I say,

My eBooks are ready,
Download them today,
To your Kindles and tablets,
Then read them, I pray,

You will love them, my stories,
And read them each day,
On your Kindles and tablets,
Until night daylight it fades.

The Crazymad Writer,
Writes on and on,
For your Kindles and tablets,
Until the anon,
Now I’m going, disappearing,
Fading from sight,
Till the next time I see you,
I will bid thee goodbye.

*********************

 
 

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The All Blacks

Scary stories

The All Blacks

(Boeing Dreamliner 9)

at The Crazymad Writer’s blog

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The Fog: an extraordinary tale

The Fog

It was a cold November evening, so cold the weak, autumnal sun made no inroad into the heavy frost that had descended the previous night. As I approached my friends’ house, I looked forward to the warmth of their fire, the congenial atmosphere, and a glass of warm Madeira wine. It was a custom, a family tradition to offer their visitors this warming imbibe, a custom that had survived the passage of time, including the family’s migration from the tiny outpost of the same name, far out in the Atlantic Ocean, to merry old England. Generations of guests had enjoyed this warming drink on such cold wintry nights.

 Opening the gate, I walked along the path, admiring the garden that was always in such pristine condition, no matter what time of year or how bad the weather happened to be. Lifting the doorknocker, a facsimile of a lion’s head, I gave the door an assertive knock. I waited for my hosts to respond.

  “Is that Jeremiah?” Christine asked, calling to her husband, upstairs.

 “Yes, darling,” Charles replied, making his way downstairs, to the door. Opening it, he greeted me. Seeing how frosty and cold it was outside, he said, “Welcome, Jeremiah. You must be frozen – come in. Hand me your coat and hat, then get yourself to the sitting room.”

 I made my way into the sitting room, where Charles offered me the armchair directly in front of their roaring log fire. Stretching out my hands, warming them, I thanked him for his hospitality.

Entering the room, Christine said, “Jeremiah, it’s so good to see you – and on such a cold night!”

 “You know me,” I chuckled, “out in all weathers…”

 “Out in all weathers is one thing – but this?” she replied, opening the curtains, gazing at the frost covered ground.

 “How about a nice glass of Madeira, to warm you up?” Charles asked.

“Sounds good,” I replied.

Picking up the bottle of Madeira wine that had been resting in front of the fire, warming, he said, “Won’t be a tick.”

I smiled; I had no need to reply, because my two friends, whom I had known all my life, knew me inside out.

 “Here you are,” said Charles, “a glass for the weary traveller.” He handed me a glass full to the brim with the fiery brown liquid. “And one for you, dear,” he added, offering his wife a glass, also.

 As my two hosts joined me, relaxing in their wonderfully comfortable armchairs, sitting in front of the sparkling, crackling log fire, I thanked my God to have been blessed with such good friends. 

 As we caught up with all the gossip, talked about our plans for the future, and reminisced about the good, fun times we had enjoyed over the years, the evening passed quickly (time seems to have that effect, when you’re having a good time, doesn’t it?).

Glancing at my watch, I was shocked to see that was past eleven, so knocking back the last of my Madeira wine (my fourth glassful, I might add), I thanked my congenial hosts for their hospitality, then extricated myself from the comfortable chair.

 “You’re welcome,” said Christine, giving me a little peck on the cheek.

Handing me my coat and hat, Charles said, “You’re always welcome in our home.”

 Buttoning my coat, pulling the belt tightly closed, I shivered, thinking of the cold night facing me outside. After donning my hat, I was ready to go.

 Charles gasped in shock when he opened the door. “Look,” he said, “I’ve never seen so bad a fog!”

 While we had been cosy and warm inside, drinking our Madeira wine, having a good time, a heavy fog had descended. It was bad, really bad, a pea souper if ever I saw one.

 “You will have to stay here for the night,” Charles insisted. “You’ll never find your way home in that!”

CONTD

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Stories, eBooks for children and

young at heart adults

By ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRRGH.

 

 

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Giggle my Boots

Giggle my boots, gaggle my hat,

Goggle my shirtsleeves and fraggle that cat.

I am friggled with laughter, for I know that it’s true,

That you really do love me, not Johnny Lazoo.

  **********

You see, Johnny Lazoo, a man of some strength,

Wanted to court you, wanted to bend,

Your ear with his stories, your eye with his looks,

But you never gave him as much as a look.
 

  **********

The day that you said, ‘Yes, I’ll marry you, I will,’

Was the happiest day of my life; it was brill,

To think that you chose me over Johnny Lazoo,

Makes me friggle with laughter, knowing it’s true.
 

  **********

Before I head off with my bride and my life,

I will give you this piece of excellent advice.

If you are planning to woo your beau, here’s the rub,

Friggle her with laughter and griggle her with love.

  **********

The Crazymad Writer writes again.

Stories for children and young at heart adults

By ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRRGH.

 

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To Boldly Go

To Boldly Go

To boldly go where no man has gone,

 Our intrepid explorers fight the Klingons,

 They battles with foes and forces unknown,

 Kirk and his crew are so far from home.

 **********

Warping past Dwarfs as red as can be,

Streaking through space, and all for the free,

The freedom of choice, for you and for me,

Our intrepid explorers go forward boldly.

 **********

Out into the blackness, the fear and the dread,

Kirk and his crew by passion are led,

Explorers by nature, fighters by chance,

Man and machine go boldly ever on.

 **********

It was a voyage of years, a mission of five,

That’s all was intended, I tell you no lie,

More than forty years later they’re still forging on,

Onwards and upwards, to a new dawn.

 

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Skytrain, high train, charging, charging

Skytrain

Skytrain, high train, charging, charging,

Fly train – my train; harken, harken,

To its whistle, blowing, blowing,

Life’s so fast; it’s going, going,

Ebbing from our bodies, groaning,

As Time’s cold scythe cuts through the gloaming

*

Listen, listen; I hear it calling, 

Ignore it at your peril – warning!

Before your days are gone and over,

Join me in this bright sky rover 

Across the heavens we’ll travel, listening,

To the sounds of eternity, whispering, 

Within our hearts, our chi resplendent,

At one with god, in peace, never ending.

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Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop, where you can purchase my eBooks.

I am The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

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Stone The Crows

Stone The Crows

 

Stone the crows.

What can you mean?

I said stone the crows.

You are awful mean,

To think you could hurt such wonderful birds,

I say stone you too, you are so absurd.

**********

Stone the crows.

Not YOU again.

Stone the crows.

You are not my friend,

That you could maim such marvellous things,

I say stone you too, you horrible thing!

**********

Stone the crows,

It’s a figure of speech!

Stone the crows?

It’s how I speak,

It means, Well I never,

I won’t harm the birds.

Stone the crows are such wonderful words.

**********

Stories for children and young at heart adults

by The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH!

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2013 in poems, The Crazymad Writer

 

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The Fertilizer Mine

The Fertilizer Mine

(From the story Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World)

Fertilizer is a thing we don’t always sees,

Though it’s used quite a lot, know yous this if yous please.

It’s a spread on the ground, all around and around,

The plants that are a needing it, by the once and the pound.

Oh, I’s loves my business when I’m mining the stuff,

I’s carts it around and then I’s bags it right up.

I’s stores it away until it’s needed, for sure,

T’bring on the plants in a glorious rapport.

I’m the luckiest, here, elf in charge of this mine,

This wonderful place, the luckiest of finds.

I’s thank my stars that I’s can be of some help,

T’bring on the plants into a wonderful health.

T’end this here ditty, hear you this boys and girls,

If yous ever come t’visit the top of the world,

Yous’ll get a right welcome and a tour of this mine,

Then return home again in a new frame of mind.

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Stories for children and young at heart adults

by The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH!

 

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