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Tag Archives: Wonderland

The Dodo Who Arrived Late

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Alice in Tartaria

Alice in Tartaria

Alice in the Magical Square of Tartaria

 

Ballykillduff is a village that thinks quietly.

Lanes hesitate. Grass leans when it should not. Things happen just slightly to the side of where they are supposed to be. Alice has lived there long enough to know this, and just long enough not to question it.

So when a crease appears in the air behind the Old Creamery, and a place called Tartaria slips sideways into existence, Alice is the only one who notices — and the only one who understands that some places survive by being remembered badly.

Tartaria is a civilisation that vanished by behaving too well. Now it endures in a state of almost compound memory: misremembered, misfiled, and dangerously unfinished. Maps argue. Councils disagree. Scholars from Outside begin asking sensible questions — the most dangerous kind of all.

As Alice moves between Ballykillduff and Tartaria, she discovers that memory is not passive, certainty is a trap, and being understood may be far worse than being forgotten. Worse still, Tartaria begins to misremember her.

To save both worlds, Alice must learn how to remember wrongly on purpose — without doing it too well.

Alice in Ballykillduff and the Almost-Remembered Tartaria is a whimsical, quietly unsettling fantasy in the tradition of Lewis Carroll: a story about places that think, truths that refuse to settle, and the peculiar courage it takes to remain unfinished.

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The White Rabbit in Wonderland

The White Rabbit in Wonderland

A tick, a tock, a pocket watch,

A sky of ink and butterscotch!

The rabbit runs on legs of light,

To catch the tail of noon-at-night!

 

The petals scream a silent tune,

Beneath a pink and pulsing moon.

Don’t drink the tea, it’s full of stars,

And tiny, golden handle-bars!

 

My shadow’s gone to fetch the mail,

In a thimble-boat with a paper sail.

The mushrooms groan and start to sneeze,

While logic buckles at the knees!

 

So tip your cap to the empty chair,

And weave some chaos through your hair!

For when the rabbit rings the bell,

There’s simply nothing left to tell!

 

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The March Hare in Wonderland

The March Hare in Wonderland

A swirl of logic, backwards-bound,

Where feet are lost and skies are found!

The tea is cold, the clock is dead,

With buttered toast inside my head!

 

The blossoms roar a petal-song,

Where right is right and wrong is long.

I’ve painted all the lilies green,

And danced with ghosts I’ve never seen!

 

The stars are buttons on a vest,

The moon is put to final rest.

A sneeze of glitter, a cough of gold,

A story that can’t quite be told!

 

So pour the wine that isn’t there,

And comb the static from your hair!

For in this wild and dizzy place,

There’s not a lick of time or space!

 

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The Mad Hatter in Wonderland

The Mad Hatter in Wonderland

Oh, bother and bluster, and cogs in the head!

My teacup is empty, my sanity fled!

A tick-tock of madness, a dizzying spin,

Where is the joy, where does chaos begin?

 

My eyes are like saucers, my smile’s quite askew,

A day without logic, eternally new!

The steam from my brew whispers secrets untold,

Of moments quite frantic, of stories too bold!

 

My hat, it’s a shambles, much like my own mind,

With patches of nonsense, for all humankind!

The gears in the ether, they clatter and chime,

Is it teatime forever, or just for a time?

 

A jumble of trinkets, and teabags that fly,

A world in a muddle, beneath a mad sky!

Though tired and tattered, my spirit still gleams,

For the maddest of thoughts fuel the wildest of dreams!

 

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Charles in Wonderland

Charles in Wonderland

One crisp autumn morning in 2025, King Charles III was tending to his organic gardens at Highgrove House, muttering to his beloved plants about the virtues of sustainable composting. “You see, my dears,” he said to a row of heirloom tomatoes, “one must nurture the soil as one nurtures the realm.” But as he bent down to inspect a particularly plump specimen, the ground trembled. A mischievous baby hippopotamus—escaped from the Windsor Safari Exhibit and inexplicably drawn to the royal compost heap—barreled through the hedges like a living cannonball.

Before Charles could exclaim “Good heavens!”, the hippo, whom he later dubbed Sir Splashalot, scooped him up with its snout and charged toward a peculiar rabbit hole that had appeared out of nowhere amid the flowerbeds. “Unhand me, you aquatic rascal!” the King shouted, but it was too late. With a mighty leap, Sir Splashalot plunged into the hole, carrying His Majesty tumbling down, down, down into a swirling vortex of colors and chaos. The crown tilted crookedly on his head, his ceremonial sceptre flailing like a conductor’s baton in a hurricane.

They emerged not in a burrow, but splash-landing in a vast, upside-down river where the water flowed uphill and fish swam through the air like birds. This was no ordinary Wonderland—it was a topsy-turvy realm called Blunderland, where logic took tea breaks and absurdity reigned supreme. Charles, drenched and disheveled, clung to Sir Splashalot’s back as the hippo paddled merrily through the rapids. “Where on earth—or rather, where off earth—are we?” he gasped.

Their first encounter was with a flock of floating teapots that bobbed along the riverbank, each spouting riddles in steamy whispers. “Why is a monarch like a leaky kettle?” one hissed. Before Charles could ponder, a new character emerged: the Jittery Jester, a lanky figure in polka-dotted pajamas with bells that jingled out of tune. The Jester was no fool; he was Blunderland’s self-appointed tour guide, cursed to rhyme everything he said. “Welcome, oh soggy sovereign, to this land of flip and flop! To escape the river’s wrath, you must hop atop a mop!”

With a twist of fate, the Jester handed Charles a glowing mop that doubled as a raft. But as the King mounted it, Sir Splashalot sneezed a mighty bubble, propelling them into a forest of candy cane trees where the leaves tasted like peppermint but turned your tongue invisible. Here, they met the Grumbling Gardener, a rotund gnome with a beard of living vines that whispered secrets. “Plants don’t talk back in your world, eh?” the Gardener grumbled, pruning a bush that shaped itself into royal portraits. “Mine do—and they’re plotting a revolution against the squirrels!”

Charles, ever the environmentalist, tried to mediate. “Perhaps a spot of diplomacy? Organic treaties?” But the vines entangled him, glowing with mischievous energy, and suddenly he shrank to the size of a thimble. Sir Splashalot, now gigantic in comparison, looked down with wide eyes. “This won’t do,” Charles declared, his voice a squeak. The Grumbling Gardener laughed. “Eat the glowing berry, Your Tiny Majesty, but beware—it might make you merry… or hairy!”

Swallowing the berry in desperation, Charles ballooned to the height of a giraffe, his crown now a comically small hat on his enormous head. Twisting through the forest, they stumbled upon a mad banquet hosted by the Queen of Quiches, a flamboyant ruler with a crown of crusty pastry and a court of animated desserts. “Off with their crusts!” she bellowed at intruders, but upon seeing Charles, she curtsied dramatically. “A fellow royal! Join our feast of folly—today’s menu: upside-down cake that makes you walk on ceilings!”

At the table, Charles met more new characters: the Whispering Wombat, a furry philosopher who debated existential questions in haikus (“Hippo runs wild / King seeks homeward path / Chaos laughs last”), and the Ticklish Troll, who guarded a bridge made of tickle feathers. The feast turned chaotic when the quiches rebelled, squirting custard at everyone. In the melee, Charles discovered a hidden twist: the Queen was actually his long-lost corgi, Fluffington, transformed by Blunderland magic! “Woof—I mean, Your Majesty?” the dog-queen yipped. “I’ve been ruling pies since that portal mishap last equinox!”

But no time for reunions—a sudden storm brewed, summoned by the Mischievous Water Sprites, tiny impish beings with wings of waterfalls and grins like whirlpools. They danced around the banquet, splashing illusions that turned the food into wriggling eels. “Play our game or stay forever!” they chorused. The game? A riddle relay where answers twisted reality. Charles, shouting in alarm, guessed wrong on the first: “What has a crown but no kingdom?” (He said “A tooth,” but it was “A bottle of ale.”) Reality warped, and suddenly Sir Splashalot could fly, lifting them all into the stormy jungle chaos above.

Soaring through thunderclouds that rained jellybeans, they crash-landed in the Lair of the Labyrinth Lizard, a serpentine beast with scales of shifting mazes. “To pass my test,” the Lizard hissed, “navigate my belly—it’s a puzzle of portals!” Inside the lizard’s maze-like innards, Charles faced twists galore: rooms that looped time, making him relive his coronation backward; mirrors that swapped personalities (briefly turning him into a hippo and Sir Splashalot into a king); and a chamber of forgotten dreams where he debated climate policy with ghostly versions of world leaders.

Emerging victorious but dizzy, Charles uncovered a shocking twist: Blunderland wasn’t a separate world—it was a dreamscape created by his own overworked mind, fueled by too much late-night reading of Lewis Carroll and worrying about parliamentary sessions. But wait—another turn! The Jittery Jester revealed he was actually a time-traveling advisor from 2050, sent back to “loosen up” the monarchy with absurdity. “Your reign needs whimsy, sire! Or it’ll crumble like dry scones.”

As the group fled a horde of chasing clockwork crocodiles (summoned by the Lizard’s sore loser tantrum), they reached the Exit Vortex—a swirling portal guarded by the final new character: the Benevolent Banana, a wise fruit sage who peeled away illusions. “To return,” it intoned, “admit one mad truth.” Charles, crown still crooked, shouted, “Riding a hippo is the best way to travel!”

With a pop and a whirl, they tumbled back to Highgrove. Charles awoke in his garden, Sir Splashalot (now just a normal escaped hippo) munching tomatoes beside him. Was it all a dream? Perhaps—but his sceptre was sticky with jellybeans, and a single water sprite winked from a puddle before vanishing.

From that day on, King Charles ruled with a touch more madness: royal decrees included “Hippo Holidays” and tea parties with talking plants. And if you listen closely in the gardens, you might hear the faint jingle of a Jester’s bells, reminding all that even kings need a dash of Blunderland in their lives.

 
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Posted by on December 14, 2025 in king charles, Wonderland

 

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Wonderland Dreaming.

Wonderland Dreaming.

Wonderland Dreaming.

 
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Posted by on December 10, 2025 in dreaming, Wonderland

 

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When Alice met the King of England

When Alice met the King of England

Alice, still dusting crumpets from her apron after a particularly rambunctious tea party with the March Hare, found herself tumbling, not down a rabbit hole this time, but into a most peculiar, exquisitely manicured rose garden. The roses, all red and white, seemed to be bickering amongst themselves about the proper shade of crimson for a royal eyebrow.

“Oh dear,” Alice murmured, adjusting her hair ribbon. “It seems I’ve wandered into another spot of bother.”

Suddenly, a voice, rather like the rustle of a silk dressing gown, boomed from behind a topiary shaped suspiciously like a corgi. “Who goes there, interrupting the delicate negotiations between my prize-winning petunias and the Royal Horticultural Society’s most fervent critics?”

From behind the bush emerged a gentleman of a certain age, with a twinkle in his eye and a crown that seemed to be listing slightly to port. He wore a magnificent, if somewhat patchwork, velvet robe, adorned with what looked like tiny embroidered teacups and miniature marmalade sandwiches.

“I’m Alice, Your Majesty,” she curtsied, remembering her manners, even if the monarch seemed to have misplaced some of his.

“Majesty, you say? Well, I suppose I am rather majestic, aren’t I?” He preened a little, almost tripping over his own sceptre, which was topped with a tiny, albeit slightly squashed, golden pineapple. “And you, young lady, seem to have rather a lot of sense for someone not wearing a hat adorned with a flock of startled pigeons. Are you perhaps here to discuss the optimal length of a royal wave, or the existential dread of a lost sock?”

Alice blinked. “I… I think I just followed a very enthusiastic squirrel.”

The King clapped his hands, sending a flurry of startled butterflies into the air. “A squirrel, you say! Excellent! They’re far more reliable than those blighters in Parliament, always chattering about nuts and bolts when what one truly needs is a good, solid acorn! Tell me, Alice, have you ever considered the philosophical implications of a well-buttered scone?”

He then led her on a merry chase through the garden, past a fountain spouting Earl Grey tea, and a chessboard where the pieces were miniature, sentient guardsmen who kept complaining about their aching knees. The King himself seemed to communicate primarily in rhetorical questions about the monarchy, the weather, and the surprisingly intricate history of a particular brand of digestive biscuit.

“You see, Alice,” he explained, pointing a finger at a particularly flustered flamingo trying to play croquet with a hedgehog, “the key to a successful reign is not merely waving, or even smiling at babies. It’s about knowing precisely when to offer a slightly stale crumpet and when to unleash the full might of the Royal Corgi Brigade upon an unsuspecting dandelion patch! One must be prepared for anything, even a sudden shortage of perfectly symmetrical teacups!”

Alice found herself nodding along, even as her mind reeled. This King was certainly mad, but in a rather charming, harmless way, like a well-meaning but slightly eccentric uncle. He seemed to genuinely enjoy her company, even if he mistook her silence for profound agreement.

Suddenly, a bell chimed, a sound like a thousand tiny spoons clinking against porcelain. “Ah, tea time!” the King declared, his eyes lighting up. “And this time, I’ve insisted on a fresh batch of cucumber sandwiches, precisely 0.5 centimeters thick, with the crusts removed by a team of highly trained, miniature badgers!”

As they sat down at a long table laden with treats, surrounded by an assortment of chattering teapots and a grumpy-looking White Rabbit who kept checking his watch, Alice couldn’t help but smile. She had met talking flowers, disappearing cats, and even a Queen who threatened to chop off heads, but a King who obsessed over scone philosophy and badger-removed crusts was a whole new level of Wonderland absurdity. And somehow, she felt perfectly at home.

“More tea, Alice?” the King asked, pouring from a teapot that had a tiny crown for a lid. “We simply must discuss the geopolitical implications of a slightly burnt toast point.”

Alice, with a sigh of delightful surrender, reached for another perfectly badger-trimmed cucumber sandwich. “Why, I’d love to, Your Majesty.”

 

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Goth Alice in Wonderland

Goth Alice in Wonderland

In shadows deep, where

Curiosity’s flame ignites,

Alice, a vision in black lace,

Wanders through enchanted nights.

 

With a skeletal rabbit by her side,

And the Cheshire Cat’s grin above,

She dances through the twisted woods,

A dark queen of Wonderland’s love.

 

Top hat adorned, with an inky feather,

A single eye, a haunting stare,

She sips from cups of bitter tea,

And breathes the melancholic air.

 

Crimson roses, black as night,

Bloom where her solemn footsteps fall,

A symphony of silent sighs,

Echoes through the magical hall.

 

For in this land of eerie dreams,

Where madness holds a gentle sway,

Gothic Alice finds her peace,

And forever chooses to stay.

 

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Dalek in Wonderland

Dalek in Wonderland

Alice had always considered “topsy-turvy” a quaint, almost charming state of affairs. Until, that is, the very air began to hum with an unfamiliar, metallic thrum that made the giant mushroom caps quiver like startled jellyfish. One moment, she was admiring a particularly vibrant cluster of sapphire roses; the next, a bronze behemoth with a singular, unblinking eye had materialized amongst the petals.

“EX-TER-MIN-ATE!” boomed a voice that sounded like a thousand angry kettles boiling simultaneously.

Alice, who had faced jabberwockies, irate queens, and logic-defying tea parties without so much as a proper shriek, found herself doing a rather ungraceful hop-skip-jump backwards. “Oh dear!” she gasped, her blue eyes wide with a mixture of terror and utter bewilderment. “Are you quite alright, sir? You sound rather cross, and honestly, shouting ‘exterminate’ at the scenery is dreadfully rude to the fungi.”

The Dalek, for that is what it was, swiveled its dome-shaped head, its ocular stalk focusing intently on Alice. “OBSERVATION: ORGANIC LIFE FORM IS SPEAKING ILLOGICALLY. THREAT ASSESSMENT: HIGH. INITIATING ELIMINATION PROTOCOL.”

“Elimination protocol?” Alice clutched her apron. “But I’ve only just arrived! And I haven’t even had a chance to ask if you’d like a spot of tea. Though, I must confess, your rather peculiar shape doesn’t look particularly suited for holding a teacup. Perhaps a saucer? Or a very large thimble?”

The Dalek emitted a series of rapid, clicking noises that sounded suspiciously like frustrated whirring. “TEA IS IRRELEVANT! SURRENDER FOR EX-TER-MIN-ATION!”

“Surrender?” Alice scoffed. “And miss out on discovering what’s beyond those particularly tall, stripey mushrooms? Not on your life, you peculiar brass kettle on wheels!” With a burst of courage fueled by sheer absurdity, she turned and darted through the towering roses and lilies, her blue dress a fleeting blur against the soft pink and blue hues of the fantastical garden.

The Dalek, surprisingly nimble for its bulk, began to pursue, its menacing shouts echoing through the quiet glade. “YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE THE INSOLENT ORGANIC!”

Alice, giggling despite herself, glanced back. “Honestly, if you’re going to chase me, at least try to keep up a sensible conversation! Do you know the way to the Mad Hatter’s tea party? I suspect he’d find your insistence on ‘extermination’ rather droll, provided you didn’t actually exterminate the biscuits.”

And so, under the enormous, dappled caps of the enchanted mushrooms, with the spiraling vortex of the sky watching overhead, Alice led the indignant Dalek on a merry, illogical chase, proving once and for all that in Wonderland, even the most terrifying threats could become just another part of the mad, wonderful scenery.

 

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