I am not Roald Dahl, I am not that man,
I am not Roald Dahl; it’s not a part of my plan,
The poor man is dead, as dead as can be,
I am not that man, now where is my tea?
I wish you all a happy World Book Day
Author Archives: The Crazymad Writer
I am not Roald Dahl
He’s crazy and he’s bonkers
He’s crazy and he’s bonkers,
As mad as flaming conkers,
He’s altogether zonkers,
The Crazymad Writer.
*
His stories are a dream,
When people read, they gleam
He really is a scream
The Crazymad Writer.
*
Download a book today,
And join the mad brigade
Who love the tales he’s made,
The Crazymad Writer.
The Brittas Empire
Gordon Brittas is the manager of the Whitbury-Newtown Leisure Centre.
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go
wrong when he’s around.
While Brittas is busy dreaming up new ways to make the
lives of his staffmore difficult, his assistant
Laura does her best to keep the Leisure Centre operational.
Helen Brittas meanwhile tries to retain her sanity as she struggles
to cope with her husband.
The Brittas Empire lives again,
Oh, yes it does, or so it is claimed,
By those who loved it while on our TVs,
The Brittas Empire it is a must-see.
If it is back, pray tell me – please do,
Where I can see it, where I can view,
Is it on BBC1 or ITV 2?
Tell me, oh tell me, where I can view.
Ah, I see, understand what you do mean,
Mr Brittas and his crew are eternally screened,
On YouTube, where they live forevermore,
Entertaining us with their antics, for sure.
I love to have a beer with Nigel Farage
I love to have a beer with Nigel,
I love to have a beer with Nige,
We drink in moderation,
And we never ever ever get rollin’ drunk,
We drink at the Rose and Crown,
Where the atmosphere is great,
I love to have a beer with Nigel,
‘Cause Nigel’s me mate, yeah.
Trump, Trump, Trump
Republican hopeful packed his bags
To the USA a media circus came,
Searching for the new president,
Donald said, Trump is the name!
One bright day he got out of bed,
And set off for Washington,
Though crazy in the head.
[Chorus:]
Republican hopeful packed his trunk,
And said hello to th.e media circus,
Off he went with Trumpety Trump,
Trump Trump Trump.
Republican hopeful packed his trunk,
And joined the media circus,
Off he went with Trumpety Trump,
Trump Trump Trump.
Day by day Trump danced to the circus band,
When Donald was leading the ratings,
He felt so proud and grand.
The stunts that Donald performed,
Showed how he could take a bow,
While creating such a storm.
The best job in the land was calling,
From far, far away,
Donald loved the run, loved the fun,
On the way to Washington.
Donald J Trump packed his trunk,
And said hello to the circus
Off he went with a Trumpety-Trump,
Trump, Trump, Trump
[Chorus:]
Republican hopeful packed his trunk,
And joined the media circus,
Off he went with Trumpety Trump,
Trump Trump Trump.
Republican hopeful packed his trunk,
And joined the media circus,
Off he went with Trumpety Trump,
Trump Trump Trump.
I am Merkel, I am
I am Merkel, I am,
She said as she slammed,
Her fist on the table one day,
Then after that act,
She donned her hard hat,
And directed her troops on their way,
Their way to the front,
The EU affront,
To all we hold dear I do say
The EU import,
More important than thought,
For democracy, freedom, fair play.
But the time it will come,
When the bad is undone,
When the people of Europe will say,
Away with you lot,
Your heads for the block,
Our leaders will stand there and pay,
On the gallows up high,
They will pay for their lies,
The lies that inflicted such pain,
And when that day comes,
When the EU has gone,
The people of Europe will pray,
That the likes of those brats,
Brussel Eurocrats,
Will never ever darken our days.
BREXIT
BREXIT Time
It’s BREXIT time.
What can you mean?
IT’S BREXIT TIME.
You are awful mean,
To think we could leave an EU inspired world,
BREXIT is such a terrible word.
*
It’s BREXIT time.
Not YOU again!
It’s BREXIT time.
You are not my friend,
To say we should leave such a wonderful thing,
I say BREXIT you; it’s not happening!
*
It’s BREXIT time.
It’s all we have left.
BREXIT time?
Without it we are dead,
It means, we can grow,
And be great once again,
It’s BREXIT time, the EU is a pain!
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 