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Category Archives: funny story

Don’t step on a duck!

Three women die together in an accident and
go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, ‘We! only have
one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!’

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are
ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to
step on a duck, and although they try their best to
avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, ‘Your
punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend
eternity chained to this ugly man!’

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps
on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t
miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together with the same admonishment
as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not
wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man,
is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on
any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her
with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes
on … very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, ‘I wonder what I did to
deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?’

The guy says, ‘I don’t know about you, but I stepped
on a duck!’

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour

 

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I once had a pain in my toe

I once had a pain in my toe,
That would come and then it would go,
That’s how it stayed for all of my days,
The pain at the end of my toe.

A note: I don’t have a pain my my toe anymore.

I don’t have any toes, not even one.

You see, I have gone to heaven.

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour, poems, rhyme

 

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He went to the Doctor

99 cent eBooks

An intern was sent to collect a new skeleton from the central store. 

When he arrived at the consultant surgeon’s office there was already

a queue of patients waiting.  As the intern wrestled the skeleton through

the outside door he became aware of people gazing at him enquiringly.

He gave them a smile and said, ‘I am bringing him to the doctor.’

An old lady said sympathetically, ‘My dear! Isn’t he a bit late for the doctor?’

Scary stories for childen and adults - ARRRGH.

Halloween Pumpkin

 

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Sparky Parents

children's stories, eBooks for only 99 cents each.

Sparky Parents

I will tell you this, from me to you,
To raise good children all that you need do,
Is be good parents, be shining bright,
The spark of their dreams; the light of their lives.

*

While they are young and when everything’s new,
Be their best friend and they also with you,
For childhood is fleeting, and before very long,
They will have departed the nest, and left you alone,

*

So pull up a blanket, lay thunder the stars,
And dream both together of pipes, cloaks and cars.

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour, news

 

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Cor, of the Blimey!

Cor, of the blimey, is it Friday already?

I was sure it was no later than July, or  August, at a push.

My moind it isn’t as good as it was yesterday or two days before,

Then again, my moind was not perfect way back in time,  in 1972.

See Ya! (I hope)

*****

Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff at the Crazymad Writer's blog

Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff,

Aliens landed, that is a fact!

 
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Posted by on September 19, 2014 in funny story, news

 

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There was a country called Reilly

Reilly

There was a country called Reilly,
That was incredibly slimy,
It thought it was smart,
Keeping all in the dark,
Until it fell down in a hole, did Reilly.
*
While in the bottom of that dark place,
Reilly thought about its life; its fate,
About the jerk it had been,
To all it had seen,
So it promised to be good, did Reilly,
*
Suddenly, a stick falling into the hole,
Presented a way to escape from it all,
Freed from that dark space,
Reilly forgot its promise, though great.
And returned to its bad ways, did Reilly.
*
One day when Reilly was alone,
It forgot to cover its dank home,
It was an incredibly hot day,
And the sun shining brightly away,
Dried up that country – Reilly,

The moral of my story is this,
Treat everyone you meet with a wish,
That their life is just fine,
Untroubled by lying,
Don’t end up like silly old Reilly.

*****

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour, poems

 

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There once was a country called Twerp

99 cent eBooks

There once was a country called Twerp,

That did all it could to usurp,

Other countries and states,

But all it created was hate,

What a silly old country is Twerp.

*

 
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Posted by on September 11, 2014 in funny story, Limerick, news, poems

 

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There once was a country called Pong

stories for kids - only 99 cents per eBook

There once was a country called Pong,

That thought it could do nothing wrong,

It spent all its days,

Making others afraid,

Phew, what a terrible PONG!

*

 
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Posted by on September 11, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour, Limerick

 

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There once was a country called Big

99 cent eBooks

There once was a country called Big,

That cared not for anyone; not a fig,

It spent all its days,

Making other countries afraid,

Big, the country; what a frig.

*****

 
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Posted by on September 10, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour, Limerick

 

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There once was a country called Zie

There once was a country called Zie,
That knew only how to lie,
It lied all the way,
To the end of its days,
Now it’s gone to heaven on high.

*****

 
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Posted by on September 10, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour, Limerick

 

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