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Category Archives: funny story

The Crazymad Writer got stuck in the lavatory

99 cent eBooks

Oh, dear what can the matter be?

Crazymad Writer got stuck in the lavatory,

He was there from Sunday to Saturday,

Nobody knew he was there.

*

The first bad day was ever so grim,

Sat there; it was incredibly dim,

Away from the light ‘tween bowl and the rim

And nobody knew he was there

*

The third bad day was really no better,

Stuck inside, looking for paper,

All he could find was a bricklayer’s scraper,

And nobody knew he was there.

*

The fourth bad day was a terrible mess,

Stuck in that place, amidst smell and cess,

Then he slipped on the floor and hurt – you can guess,

And nobody knew he was there.

*

CONTD

Can YOU write the next verse?

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2014 in funny story, poems, Song

 

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There is a country called GRUNGE

The New World Order

There is a country called GRUNGE,

That thinks it is so much fun,

Interfering with the lives,

Of people both far and wide,

Grunge; enjoying perverse fun.

 

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Old Butch, The Prize Rooster

Old Butch, The Prize Rooster


Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young’ pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Fred’s favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Fred’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most  coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.
Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells.
 
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Posted by on July 22, 2014 in funny story

 

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A Mathematical Theory

Mathematics:

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint..it goes like this:


What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?


We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in
life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula to help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5
= 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20
= 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing gets you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+
14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty,
that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you 100%, it’s the Bullshit andAss Kissing that will put you over the top.

Now you know why, & how our political leaders give the general public more than 100% ….!

 
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Posted by on July 12, 2014 in funny story, humor, humour

 

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Ha, Ha, it’s Friday

Ha, Ha, it’s Friday

Roger left for work on Friday morning.  Friday was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay packet.

Finally, Roger appeared at home on Sunday night, and obviously he was confronted by his angry wife, Martha who castigated Roger for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.  Finally, Martha stopped the nagging and said to Roger, ‘How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?’

Roger replied grimly, ‘That would be fine with me.’

Monday went by and he didn’t see his Martha. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

By the Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough so that Roger he could see Martha a little out of the corner of his left eye

 
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Posted by on July 11, 2014 in funny story

 

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