There was a donkey named Fred,
Who got his lady friend, a zebra, into bed.
Several months later on Donkra was born,
And Fred gasped, was it something I said?
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Category Archives: humour
FIRE!
A chemist, a shopkeeper and a teacher were sentenced to death by firing squad. The chemist was taken from his cell and as the soldiers took aim he shouted “Avalanche!” The soldiers panicked and in the confusion the chemist escaped. The shopkeeper was led out next. As the soldiers took aim he shouted “Flood!” and escaped. The teacher was then lead out. The squad took aim and the teacher, remembering how the other two had escaped, shouted “Fire!”
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I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
A Slug Called Reilly
There once was a slug called Reilly,
Who was incredibly slimy,
He thought he was smart,
Going out in the dark,
Until he fell down in a hole, did Reilly.
*
While stuck in that dark place,
Reilly thought about his life and his fate,
About the jerk he had been,
To everyone he had seen,
So he promised to be good, did Reilly.
*
Suddenly, a stick falling into the hole,
Presented a way to escape from it all,
Freed from that space,
Reilly forgot his promise, though great.
And returned to his bad ways, did Reilly.
*
One day when Reilly was alone,
He forgot to cover up his dank home,
It was an incredibly hot day,
The sun shone brightly away,
Drying him up, that slug, old Reilly,
*
The moral of my story is this,
Treat everyone you meet with a wish,
That their life is just fine,
Untroubled by lying and slime,
Don’t end up like silly old Reilly.
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**********
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
Life
Life
By W T Goodge
Infant; teething,
Thrush and croup,
Schoolboy; marbles,
Top and hoop,
Youth; sweet picnics,
Cigarettes,
Cricket, football,
Sundry bets!
*
Young man; courtship,
Lovely she,
Married; youngsters,
Two or three,
Worry, trouble,
Smile and frown,
“In memoriam,
William Brown!”
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Noddy and Big Ears were out boating one day
Noddy and Big Ears, while boating one day,
Were caught in a storm and they happened to stray,
Far out to the sea, on an ocean so spare,
They landed on an island, tropical, I declare.
*
What shall we do? Big Ears cried loud,
We are far from our friends and our spouses, so proud,
I really don’t know, Noddy answered him, then,
He heard rustling in the bushes behind them.
*
Is it, said Big Ears, cannibals that we face?
I hope not, really hope not, said Noddy, red faced.
Then out from the bushes and the dark trees,
Golliwog appeared and he put them at ease.
*
Where did you come from? they asked of him,
We thought you were banished, never to return.
I was banished, he explained. Set adrift in a boat,
I was lost to the ocean, a place without hope.
*
After many days my broken boat landed here,
On this island, this place of beauty so rare
Having water and fruit, I settled down for the wait,
Until I was rescued from this lonely place.
*
Recognising that fate had sent them that day,
Noddy and Big Ears said, Golliwog you are saved,
Come back to Toyland; we want you there,
We love who you are, black skin and all.
*
When they were watered and fed with the best,
Yams, coconuts and tree frogs’ sweet legs,
They mended the boat as well as can be,
Then set off for Toyland in fine company.
*
For ten long days they sailed the seven seas,
Until they smelt fragrance; apple blossom on the breeze,
Ahoy, they called out when they spotted land ahead,
That is Old Blighty, the three of them said.
*
When they were home, ensconced in their place,
Noddy and Big Ears looked into Golliwog’s black face,
Never again will you be sent away because of your skin,
Be it black or white or green with purple markings.
*
Next day, as the friends paraded around town,
Everyone was happy to see them return,
And those who banished Golliwog, sent him away,
Were sent to Coventry for many a long day.
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**********
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
Noddy was a happy chap
Noddy was a happy chap,
In his car; red, blue and yellow,
Driving up and down the road,
He was such a happy fellow,
*
One day while driving roundabout,
Noddy heard a cry, you see,
Help, help, it called, lest I might die,
I have the flue, said he.
*
Applying brakes, stopping fast,
Noddy wondered who it was,
Who’s that? he asked, looking around,
His mind was all agog.
*
It’s me, he answered, it’s Mr Toad,
I am feeling ill and sick,
Bring me to the doctor, please,
Drive your car quick, quick!
*
Hop in my car you poor, poor thing,
Said Noddy to the Toad,
I’ll bring you there so very fast,
Your feet will touch your nose,
*
The doc will know just what to do,
He’ll fix you up, real strong,
With pills and potions, drugs and cures,
You won’t be ill for long.
*
Thank you, thank you, said the Toad,
As he hopped into the car,
I am so sick I cannot wait,
Please drive; it’s not that far.
*
Doc has so much, said Noddy then,
To cure the ailing patient,
His big injections hit the mark,
Be it flu or constipation.
*
Big injections? asked the Toad,
Yes, big, so big, for real,
Goodbye, said Toad, I’m off right now,
My flue, it’s gone; I’m healed!
*
The moral of this story is,
If you are feeling ill,
Don’t ask Noddy for a lift,
Stay at home and take a pill.
********
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where you can purchase my eBooks
**********
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
If I was a wealthy man
Here is one million dollars for you.
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where you can purchase my eBooks
**********
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
Noddy and Big Ears were out driving one day
Noddy and Big ears were out driving one day,
When they heard that poor Golliwog, he just could not stay,
He’s politically incorrect, they was told by their peers,
Golliwog must go — do we make ourselves clear?
*
Golliwog must go, but how can that be?
He is our dear friend — it just cannot be!
We have had such good times with him and his kin,
Golliwog, you stay, they said with a grin.
*
Leaning down harder on Noddy and friend,
Their peers chastised them with their words once again,
The powers that be say he is not good for the land,
Or the people within it: Golliwog is banned!
*
Golliwog is banned? Now we know that you’re bad,
Said Noddy and Big Ears, (they were getting quite mad),
To punish our friend, to exile him in disgrace,
Just because of his skin and the look of his face!
*
Fighting back harder, Noddy and Big Ears they sang,
We’ll bring you to court, the highest in the land,
We’ll tell then you are racist, for denying our friend,
Our dearest friend, Golliwog, because of his skin.
*
Aghast and bamboozled that their case it was lost,
Their peers relinquished their grip on the fiendish old plot,
Okay, she said, Golliwog can stay,
Hurray, Noddy cheered, come on, let’s play!
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where you can purchase my eBooks
**********
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
Laughing Larry
Laughing Larry
From the story I wrote, ‘Harry Rotter’
I am Laughing Larry, Laughing Larry today,
I am laughing Larry, Laughing Larry hey hey!
You may think I’m not too serious, and I might even agree,
But I’m still Laughing Larry, Laughing Larry hee hee.
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Harry Potter?
No, silly. it’s Harry ROTTER.
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where you can purchase my eBooks
**********
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
There was a woman, so fat
There was a woman, so fat,
She didn’t know where she was at,
Her front and back were so round and so fat,
She looked like a ball; it’s a fact.
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Click HERE to visit my online book shop,
where you can purchase my eBooks
**********
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 