Paddy was a farmer, ploughing every day,
Up and down the furrows he went his merry way,
Until one day, when it happened,
When he found a hidden cache,
Revealed by his plough, he was totally aghast.
Well, by George, he shouted,
I am rich as rich can be,
Gold and jewels and coins and stuff,
That’s the end of farming for me.
*****************
Johnny was a barber; he loved his job, he did,
Cutting people’s hair and mowing others wigs.
Until one day he reeled back, shocked by what he saw,
A hole in the head of a customer, a man quite old and poor,
Why don’t you go to the doctor? he asked the man out loud,
To get it fixed and filled in quick, that’s what I’d do, he cried,
Oh, no, I can’t do that, the old man then answered him,
I have had it, there, for forty years; it’s now part of me, he grinned,
I would miss it, that hole up there; he went on to explain,
Please trim the hear, he said to John, but mind the hole he warned.
*******************
There was a politician, quite bad,
Who told us one day we were mad,
That we borrowed too much,
And with reality had lost touch,
I say it is he, not us, who is MAD.
***************
Bert refused to wear a clean shirt,
He said that his old one would do him okay.
He wore it and wore it, and then wore it some more,
Until a girl that he fancied told him he smelt, for sure
Donning a new shirt, Bert asked her to go,
To go on a date with him, with his new shirt,
Answering sharply, she declined his kind offer,
Saying it was he who was smelly, not the old shirt.
*****************
I am a poor mouse, it said sadly to her,
A very poor mouse, you can tell by my fur,
So ragged and reek, split ends I am sure,
I am a poor mouse – will you confer?
.
Yes, you are a poor mouse, Alice dryly replied,
An abysmally poor one – can I take you aside?
For the Hatter, so mad, is searching for you,
To stuff into his pot with its heavenly brew.
.
Oh I am lost, the mouse cried out in shock,
The Hatter, so mad, wants me inside his pot,
And the Rabbit, so white, with his blackest of souls,
Will keep you in there ‘til you’ve expired – so I’m told.
.
What can I do – oh, Alice, please help,
Save my life, my moth eaten old pelt.
I cannot save you, for the Hatter and Rabbit are here,
And I am so thirsty – where’s your pot my old dears?
.
The pot it is here, the Hatter and Rabbit replied,
Quick, squeeze him inside, that’s where he’ll reside,
Amidst the tea leaves, mixed up with the brew,
The Mouse will make history. Sugar; one lump or two?
*
The day the weather went mad
Was a day I thought I had been had,
By a weather extreme; quite obscene,
The day the weather went mad.
*****************
No trespassing, that’s what the words read,
No trespassing, it’s what the sign said,
As I approached the gate upon which it was on,
The words, no trespassing, dared me to come on.
*
A voice in my head told me to ignore it, that sign,
It said there was something exciting to find,
In the field behind them, gate and its sign,
Are you afraid, the voice asked, or do you think I am lying?
*
No, I am not afraid, I answered it back,
My gut feeling, though, tells me to shy away from this tack,
Are you man or a mouse? It said mocking me so,
I am a man, I answered, a man on the go.
*
So I climbed over the gate and stepped into that field,
A green, luscious sward that was ever so still,
Seeing nothing at all, there, other than grass,
I wondered, yes wondered, where it was at.
*
Suddenly, startlingly, I heard a snort and a wheeze,
Then I saw it, a bull galloping towards me,
So I darted away from it as fast as I could,
And clambered back over that gate made of wood.
*
The moral of my story, my scary story, is this,
When out in the country give gates a miss,
Don’t listen to voices inside your head,
Stick to your gut feeling, it’s safer, instead,
**************
I don’t care WHAT you call me
as long as you enjoy reading y stories
**************
Africa, Africa, land of dark nights,
Home of the many, home of the right,
A people once voiceless will have their time in the sun,
When prosperity follows and wars are all done.
*
Hunger and famine will be a thing of the past,
Dictators forgotten – Who were they? You ask,
The days will be brighter, that’s how it will be,
In Africa, Africa, the land of the free.
*********************
Some people might think that I am so cracked,
Two sheets to the wind, and that is a fact.
But I say it is they who are lacking of sorts,
Afraid to speak up, to convey their true thoughts.
*
To speak and to mean just what we might say,
Is honesty so lacking in the world of today.
If people joined in with this wonderful cause,
They would value and welcome and give it applause.
*
But people are strange; so nice to the face,
Then turning their back they fall down in disgrace,
Lying and cheating with no thought of the pain,
That neglecting truth causes, and who is to blame.
*
They just follow the herd, they follow the crowd,
Ticking off those who stand alone from the crowd,
Laughing at those two sheets in the wind,
Oblivious to the fact that they are happier than them.
*
If more people were ‘two sheets to the wind’,
More would be happier and less would have sinned.
***********
*****
Are you normal?
Do you want to be,
A faceless person in a heaving sea,
With no aims, ambitions, dreams or goals,
Just happily plodding along that road?
*
Are you slowly dying?
Don’t you feel the magic of each new day,
The sounds of laughter as children play,
The warmth of the sun on your back, so good,
The song of birds, the smell of wood?
*
Are you passing time?
Don’t you wonder at the sky, so blue,
The start and end so vague to you?
I hear you say, I am happy, still,
So too is an ant that has no will.
*
Wake up, wake up!
It’s not too late,
There still is time to change your fate,
Renounce the normal, do something MAD,
Shock them all create a fad.
*
Be yourself, alive with goals,
With dreams and wonders still untold,
Exult life in your own distinctive way,
It’s yours alone; you must have your say,
Lest you slip into oblivion (without a trace).
***************************
The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 