That’s Joe
There once was a slug called Joe
Who wished he were fast, not slow
Until one day, while alone
He saw a snail struggling, carrying its home
Now he slimes about happy: That’s Joe
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That’s Joe
A Funny Thing Happened The Other Day
A Funny Thing Happened
The Other Day
I saw this sleek snail in the green grass one day,
A flyboy, he was, I do have to say,
For he whisked himself past as fast could be,
In a shell of many colours, a flyboy was he.
*
I had hardly perceived that he had even arrived,
Before he disappeared into the sunset – I tell you no lie!
That snail of many colours, as bold as could be,
Was a flyboy for sure, so flashy was he!
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He made me so sad, as sad as could be,
For I am a slug, not flashy, that’s me,
No shell to impress with colours and bling,
Just a poor, boring slug and it’s a terrible thing.
*
But I do have this plan, a means to an end,
That could make so cool, like snails and their friends,
All that I need are paint and a brush,
A golf ball and glue – not really so much!
*
With these said items, I will make myself grand,
Painting the ball, gluing it on my back is my plan,
Then I’ll parade myself round as proud as can be,
Like the snail of many colours and just as flashy, hee hee.
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Oh, To Have Legs…
Oh to have legs like insects and things,
To walk on all fours is something I dream,
Or even just two, like HU-MAN THEINGS.
Would make me so happy, would realise my dreams
*
I dream of the day, I grow legs and see,
What it feels like to walk, not slime so lowly,
You see, I am a poor slug with no legs at all,
A garbled old thing, just slime and slow drawl.
*
Now don’t get me wrong it’s not all bad, I confess,
There are some perks living in a damp mess,
But I cannot help wonder about legs, I admit,
Oh lord give me legs, be it two, four or six.
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Thank God it’s Friday…
Thank God it’s Friday. No, wait a minute,
it’s not Friday, it’s only Thursday – ARRRRGH.
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Whispering Jesse – John Denver
Whispering Jesse – John Denver
I often have wandered in deep contemplation
It seems that the mind runs wild when you’re all alone
The way that it could be
The way that it should be
Things I’d do differently if I could do them again
I’ve always loved spring time, the passing of winter
The green of the new leaves and life goin on
The promise of morning
The long days of summer
Warm nights of loving her beneath the bright stars
I’m just an old cowboy from high Colorado
Too old to ride anymore, too blind to see
I sleep in the city now
Away from the mountains
Away from the cabin we always called home
I dream I left there
On an old Palomino
Whispering Jesse rode right by my side
I long to hold her
To hear her soft breathing
The touch of her cool hands on my fevered brow
Whispering Jesse still rides in the mountains
Still sings in the canyons
Still lives in my heart
Words and music by John Denver
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Alice in Wonderland Syndrome
As a child I suffered from what I now know is called AIWS. Back then, though, I had no inkling what it actually was. It was frightening, ever so frightening. I would see things, both far away and close by at the same time, and would hear things loud, yet also ever so quiet. I would also get a feeling, a really bad feeling of foreboding, that something terrible was about to happen. From time to time i saw either the devil or an angel alongside my bed, where I was lying. Thankfully, as an adult, I do not experience these instances much anymore.
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Alice-in-Wonderland syndrome (AIWS, named after the novel written by Lewis Carroll), also known as Todd’s syndrome or lilliputian hallucinations, is a disorienting neurological condition that affects human perception. Sufferers may experience micropsia, macropsia, or size distortion of other sensory modalities. A temporary condition, it is often associated with migraines, brain tumors, and the use of psychoactive drugs. It can also present as the initial sign of the Epstein-Barr Virus (see mononucleosis). Anecdotal reports suggest that the symptoms of AIWS are fairly common in childhood,[citation needed] with many people growing out of them in their teens. It appears that AIWS is also a common experience at sleep onset. Alice in Wonderland Syndrome can be caused by abnormal amounts of electrical activity causing abnormal blood flow in the parts of the brain that process visual perception and texture.
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The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 