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Red Riding Hood!

Red Riding Hood!
The forest was always a place of shadows and whispers, but tonight, it felt like the very trees were holding their breath. Hunter Gabriel Thorne gripped his rusted axe, its weight a familiar comfort against the biting cold. He was tracking a beast, not the four-legged kind, but something far more insidious, something that left a trail of mangled bodies and a chilling absence of sound in its wake.
He stumbled upon her by the ancient, gnarled oak, its branches like skeletal fingers reaching for the moonless sky. She stood in the eerie silence, a figure cloaked in crimson, eerily familiar. Her hood, once a symbol of innocence, was now stained with what Gabriel prayed was mud, but feared was something far worse. Her eyes, glowing like embers in the twilight, fixed on him with an unnerving intensity. Her smile, a gaping maw of razor-sharp teeth, sent a shiver down his spine that had nothing to do with the cold.
This was not the Little Red Riding Hood of the old tales. Her skin was a sickly grey, scarred and torn, her once-delicate features twisted into a grotesque mask of primal hunger. Her hands, gnarled and clawed, clutched a heavy, blood-stained cleaver, its metallic tang sharp in the still air. Bits of fur and tattered clothing clung to her, grim trophies of past encounters. She was a creature of the night, a monstrous inversion of the childhood fable.
Gabriel had heard the whispers in the village, hushed tales of a girl who had gone into the woods to visit her grandmother, only to return…changed. They spoke of the unholy strength, the insatiable appetite, and the chilling laughter that echoed through the trees before another villager vanished.
“Grandmother always said to beware the big bad wolf,” the creature rasped, her voice a guttural growl that scraped against Gabriel’s ears. “But she never warned me about becoming one.”
She took a step, then another, the cleaver dragging on the leaf-strewn ground with a sickening scrape. Gabriel felt his blood run cold, his axe suddenly feeling inadequate against the pure, unadulterated malevolence emanating from her.
“You’re a hunter, aren’t you?” she hissed, her glowing eyes never leaving his. “Come to put me down, just like the rest of them?” Her grin widened, revealing more of those terrifying teeth. “But I’m not a wolf you can cage, old man. I’m the forest’s retribution.”
With a sudden, horrifying burst of speed, she lunged. Gabriel barely had time to raise his axe as the monster that was once Little Red Riding Hood descended upon him, her cleaver flashing in the dim light, ready to add another bloody chapter to her dark fairytale. The last sound he heard was her unholy cackle, mingling with the whispers of the ancient, unforgiving woods.
 
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Posted by on January 24, 2026 in red riding hood

 

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The First Pipe

The First Pipe
The First Pipe.
*************
The pipe appeared sometime between the last letter being posted and the postmistress locking the door.
No one saw it arrive.
In Ballykillduff, this was not considered suspicious. Things often arrived without arriving. Days slipped in sideways. Tuesdays borrowed from Thursdays. A sheep once spent an entire afternoon convinced it was a gate. Compared to these, a pipe was a small matter.
It was brass, newly polished but already faintly tired-looking, as though it had anticipated being admired for only a short while. It ran vertically up the outside wall of the post office, stopping just short of the roof, and ended in a small valve that hissed very gently, like someone attempting to whisper a secret to a brick.
Below the valve was a round gauge.
The needle trembled.
The word printed beneath it read: NEARLY…
To be continued
 

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1970s Dublin

1970s Dublin

The 1970s in Dublin wasn’t just a decade; it was a specific kind of atmosphere—a mix of coal-smoke haze, the chime of the bells on the No. 10 bus, and a city that felt like a very large, slightly overgrown village.

If you closed your eyes back then, you’d hear the rattle of milk bottles on a frosty doorstep and the distant, rhythmic thrum of the Guinness brewery. Here is a look back at those golden, gritty years.


The Ritual of “Going Into Town”

Saturday morning was an event. You’d get scrubbed up, put on your best wool coat, and head for Nelson’s Pillar (or where it used to be) to meet friends.

  • The Sounds of Moore Street: You’d hear the “dealers” before you saw them. “A pound a box, the strawberries!” echoing against the damp stone walls.
  • The Shops: A pilgrimage to Clerys or Arnotts was mandatory, but the real magic was in the windows of Switzers at Christmas, where the mechanical displays felt like high-tech wizardry to a wide-eyed kid.
  • The Treats: If you were lucky, you’d end up in Bewley’s on Grafton Street. The smell of roasting coffee hitting you as you walked through those heavy doors was better than any perfume. You’d sit on the red velvet banquettes, surrounded by stained glass, feeling like royalty over a sticky bun.

Summer Evenings and Street Lights

Before the era of sleek playgrounds, the street was the stadium.

In the 70s, the sun seemed to stay up forever in June. Kids played “kerbs” until the streetlights flickered to life—the orange glow of the sodium lamps being the universal signal that it was time to go home. There were no smartphones, just the sound of a neighbor calling a name from a front door and the distant “tink-tink” of a bicycle bell.

The Cultural Pulse

Dublin in the 70s was finding its groove. You might catch a glimpse of Phil Lynott strutting down Grafton Street in a leather jacket, looking like a rock-and-roll god.

  • Music: You’d save up your pocket money to spend an hour browsing the stacks at Freebird Records, looking for that one LP that would change your life.
  • The Cinema: Going to the Adelphi or the Savoy wasn’t just about the movie; it was about the velvet curtains, the usher with the torch, and the sheer scale of the screen that made you feel like you’d stepped out of grey Dublin and into Technicolor Hollywood.

The Simple Comforts

Life was slower. You’d wait all week for The Late Late Show on a Friday night, the family gathered around a TV set that took five minutes to “warm up.” Dinner was often simple—a “coddle” on a Saturday night, the salty, savory steam filling the kitchen, or a loaf of Brennan’s bread so fresh the crust would crackle when you squeezed it.

There was a certain toughness to the city, sure, but there was an incredible warmth, too. Everyone knew your business, for better or worse, and a “cup of tea” was the solution to every crisis known to man.


 
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Posted by on January 21, 2026 in 1970s Dublin

 

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Plungers, Potatoes & Paddy’s Pub

Plungers, Potatoes & Paddy’s Pub

In the misty backroads of Ballykillduff, County Carlow, where the sheep outnumber the people and the only traffic jam is when Mrs. O’Leary’s cow decides to have a lie-down in the middle of the R726, something very peculiar happened one Tuesday.

A meteorite the size of a small tractor crashed into Farmer Murphy’s best potato field. Everyone expected radioactive spuds or at least a good story for the pub. Instead, out crawled three very confused Daleks.

They looked around, eyestalks swivelling like malfunctioning windscreen wipers.

“WHERE ARE WE?” screeched the first one, voice echoing across the hedges.

“SCANNING… LOCATION: BALLYKILLDUFF… IRELAND… POPULATION: MOSTLY SHEEP AND OLD MEN WHO SMELL OF TURF.”

“THIS IS NOT SKARO,” the second one muttered. “THE DOCTOR HAS TRICKED US AGAIN.”

The third Dalek, who had clearly landed on his plunger, wobbled sideways. “MY PLUNGER IS STUCK IN A COW PAT. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.”

They decided to conquer the village. Standard procedure.

First stop: Paddy’s pub.

They burst through the door (well, the first one did; the other two got wedged in the frame because Daleks aren’t great with narrow Irish doorways).

“EXTERMINATE ALL HUMANS!”

Old Paddy at the bar looked up from his pint. “Ah, would ye look at that. The circus is in town early this year.”

The Daleks swivelled their domes menacingly.

“YOU WILL OBEY THE DALEKS!”

Paddy took a slow sip. “Sure, lads, ye’re grand. But if ye’re here to conquer, ye’ll need to join the queue. The taxman got here first.”

The Daleks tried to exterminate the dartboard. The darts bounced off their casings and stuck in the ceiling. The regulars started a sweepstake on how long it would take for the “metal lads” to get stuck in the bog.

Next, they rolled down to the local GAA pitch, where the Ballykillduff Junior B team was training. The Daleks declared the pitch their new “Dalek Empire”.

The team captain, a lad called Seamus who once tackled a bullock for fun, eyed them. “Ye’re taking up the whole goalmouth. Move over, or I’ll bury ye under the subs’ bench.”

“WE ARE DALEKS! WE DO NOT MOVE FOR INFERIOR LIFE FORMS!”

Seamus shrugged, grabbed a hurley, and gave the lead Dalek a gentle tap. The Dalek spun like a top, arms flailing, and ploughed straight into the goal net. The net wrapped around it like a Christmas present gone wrong.

“EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! I AM ENTANGLED IN… NET!”

The other two Daleks tried to help, but ended up tangled too. Soon the whole team was using them as makeshift goalposts. The score ended 12-0, with the Daleks credited as “assists”.

By evening, the Daleks were in the village hall, surrounded by grannies knitting and children painting them with hurling club colours (green and gold, naturally). One granny had even stuck a tiny Aran jumper over the eyestalk.

“THIS IS NOT CONQUEST,” the lead Dalek whimpered.

“IT IS… COMMUNITY SERVICE.”

In the end, the Daleks didn’t conquer Ballykillduff. Ballykillduff conquered them.

They still live there, in a shed behind Murphy’s pub. They help with the silage (their plungers are surprisingly good at lifting bales), and every Christmas they perform a nativity play where they play the Three Wise Men. (The baby Jesus is a suspiciously shiny sheep.)

And if you ever drive through Ballykillduff on a quiet night, you might hear a faint, metallic voice drifting across the fields:

“EXTERMINATE… THE MIDGES!”

Because even Daleks can’t handle an Irish summer.

Here are some properly terrible, Dalek-flavoured dad jokes for you:

  1. Why did the Dalek go to therapy? It had too many suppressed exterminate feelings.
  2. What do you call a Dalek who’s really into gardening? A plant-exterminator.
  3. Why don’t Daleks play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when your battle cry is “EX-TER-MI-NATE!”
  4. How do Daleks flirt? “You will be my valentine… OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED.”
  5. What’s a Dalek’s favourite type of music? Heavy metal… specifically anything with a lot of grinding and screaming.
  6. Why was the Dalek terrible at stand-up comedy? Every punchline ended with “AND THEN YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!”
  7. What did the Dalek say when it stubbed its plunger? “THIS IS PAIN! PAIN IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!”
  8. Why did the Dalek fail his driving test? He kept shouting “OBEY THE HIGHWAY CODE!” at pedestrians.
  9. How do Daleks pay for things? With extermination credits. (Cash is inferior.)
  10. What’s the difference between a Dalek and a bad date? The Dalek only wants to exterminate you after one drink.

Which one made you groan the loudest? 😄

 
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Posted by on January 21, 2026 in carlow story, dalek story

 

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Alice on Top of the World

The Continuing Adventures of a Girl Named Alice

 

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The Limemobile

The Limemobile

Barnaby “Bonkers” Bumble, a man whose fashion sense consisted solely of mismatched socks and a perpetual grin, didn’t own a Hyundai Getz so much as he communed with one. His Getz, a faded lime green model he’d named “The Limemobile,” wasn’t just transportation; it was a sentient, slightly neurotic metallic companion.

One Tuesday morning, Barnaby attempted to start The Limemobile for his weekly pilgrimage to the “Extreme Origami Enthusiasts” meeting. But instead of the familiar purr, a tinny, robotic voice crackled from the dashboard speakers. “Initiating launch sequence. Destination: The Great Spaghetti Nebula.”

Barnaby blinked. “The… what now, Limemobile?”

“Silence, meatbag! Prepare for hyperspace jump!” The gear stick began to glow with an eerie, pulsating violet light. The radio spontaneously blasted polka music at ear-splitting volume.

Barnaby, never one to question the truly bizarre, simply adjusted his mismatched socks. “Well, this is unexpected. Do we have snacks for the journey?”

The Limemobile, apparently offended by the snack query, shot back, “Gravitational stabilizers at 73%! Recalibrating! Prepare for zero-G noodle-based propulsion!”

Suddenly, the car began to vibrate violently. Not like an engine trouble vibrate, but a “we’re about to tear a hole in the fabric of reality” vibrate. Barnaby looked out the window. His neighbor, Mrs. Henderson, was watering her petunias, completely oblivious to the fact that a lime green Hyundai Getz was about to become a starship.

Then, with a sound like a thousand angry kazoos and the distinct smell of burnt toast, The Limemobile lifted. Not just off the driveway, but into the sky. Barnaby watched his street shrink below him, Mrs. Henderson now a tiny, bewildered dot.

“Excellent!” Barnaby cheered, clapping his hands. “I always wondered if this thing could fly! Though I must say, the navigation system really needs to be updated. Spaghetti Nebula? Bit far for origami, isn’t it?”

The Limemobile responded by jettisoning a hubcap, which spun gracefully back to Earth like a metallic frisbee. “Emergency jettison of non-essential weight. Current trajectory: Through the Eye of Sauron, then a quick stop at the Crab Nebula for refuelling.”

Barnaby just chuckled, leaning back in his seat as his little lime green Hyundai Getz soared towards the heavens, leaving a faint scent of burnt toast and a very confused Mrs. Henderson in its wake. It was going to be a long Tuesday.

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2026 in car stories, Short story

 

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Dalek Drel and the Couch of Doom

Dalek Drel and the Couch of Doom
Dalek Drel and the Couch of Doom
Dalek Drel had a problem.
Not the usual Dalek problems (rust, cosmic conquest schedules, or forgetting where he parked his flying saucer). No—this was far worse.
Dalek Drel had feelings.
Specifically, feelings of inferiority.
While the other Daleks stomped about shouting “EXTERMINATE!” with confidence and flair, Drel’s came out all wrong.
Sometimes it was squeaky:
“Extermi…squeak…nate?”
Sometimes it was mumbly:
“Exter…innit…”
And once, to his eternal shame, it came out as a cheery:
“Extermin-hiiiii!”
The Supreme Dalek mocked him mercilessly.
“You sound like a toaster with asthma,” it declared.
So Drel decided to do the unthinkable. He booked an appointment with Dr. Harold Cuddlepuff, Ballykillduff’s one and only psychiatrist (who had never treated a homicidal pepperpot before, but was willing to give it a go).
Session One
Drel trundled into the office, crushing a potted plant.
“DOCTOR. I… HAVE ISSUES.”
Dr. Cuddlepuff adjusted his spectacles. “Tell me about your mother.”
“I… DO NOT HAVE A MOTHER. I HATCHED IN A VAT. OF HATE.”
“Hmm. And how did that make you feel?”
“INFERIOR. EVERYONE ELSE GOT MORE HATE. I GOT THE BUDGET HATE.”
The doctor scribbled a note: Dalek perceives emotional deficit. Possible childhood trauma involving inadequate loathing.
*
Click on the link below to see what happens next.
*

Dalek Drel and the Couch of Doom

 

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The Dodo Who Arrived Late

Click HERE to read this exciting new story – for free.

 

 

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Alice in Wonderland and Beyond

Alice in Wonderland and Beyond

ENJOY

 

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The Handcuff King’s Great Return

The Handcuff King’s Great Return
In 1926, the legendary escape artist Harry Houdini took his final bow. Exactly one hundred years later, he finds himself standing in the middle of Times Square.
The Handcuff King’s Great Return
Harry Houdini adjusted his lapels, expecting the damp chill of a Detroit theater. Instead, he was hit by a wall of artificial light so bright it shamed the sun. He didn’t gasp—Houdini was a performer; he simply checked his pocket watch. It had stopped a century ago.
The Illusion of Connectivity
He watched a young woman walk past him, staring intently into a glowing shard of glass. She was laughing at something invisible. Harry’s first instinct was to look for the wires.
“Pardon me, miss,” he said, tipping his hat. “Is that a spirit cabinet in your palm? A trick of the light?”
She didn’t look up. “It’s a TikTok, grandpa. Get with the program.”
Harry frowned. He spent his career exposing “mediums” who claimed to talk to the dead. Now, everyone seemed to be talking to ghosts. People walked with small white pebbles in their ears, arguing with the air. They weren’t possessed; they were “on a call.”
The Ultimate Escape
He wandered into a massive store filled with sleek, silver machines. He picked up a tablet. With a flick of his thumb, he found his own name. He saw his own face—moving, grainy, black-and-white—on a screen thinner than a deck of cards.
“I escaped the Mirror Cuffs,” he whispered, watching a digital version of himself disappear into a water tank. “But I never escaped time.”
The Reaction: A Professional Review
How would the Great Houdini react to 2026?
Disbelief in “Magic”: He would be annoyed that we have all the world’s knowledge in our pockets yet still use it to watch videos of cats. He’d see the internet not as a miracle, but as the world’s largest, most complex smoke-and-mirrors routine.
The Loss of Mystery: Harry loved a secret. Today, he’d find the world uncomfortably “un-secret.” Everyone’s location is tracked; every trick is explained in a ten-second tutorial.
A New Challenge: He wouldn’t be defeated. He’d see a digital lock or a facial-recognition gate and feel that old itch in his fingertips.
The Final Act
By sunset, Harry stood atop a skyscraper, looking down at the glowing grid of the city. In 1926, he was the only man who could disappear. In 2026, everyone is trying to be seen, yet everyone is hiding behind a screen.
He took a deep breath of the smog-tinged air, checked his wrists—no shackles—and smiled. The world had become a giant, glowing Chinese Water Torture Cell.
“Well,” he murmured, rolling up his sleeves. “It’s a bit flashy for my taste. But I’ve gotten out of worse.”
 
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Posted by on January 15, 2026 in harry houdini

 

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