*****
Click HERE to visit my online book shop
and download one today.
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I don’t care WHAT you call me
as long as you enjoy reading my stories
**************
I am your leader, now what’s all the fuss?
I messed up my interview, haven’t you sussed?
It was early, very early, I was tired, I think,
From celebrating our think-in, not from the drink!
*
Those scurrilous pups who are spreading these lies,
Are a shower of liars intent on my demise,
All that I did was sing a few songs,
And have the odd pint, is that so wrong?
*
You want to know many pints I drank that night?
I think it was three, no wait, that’s not right,
Perhaps it was four, or was it just five?
Then again, it might have been six, if it was its a lie,
Seven or eight is probably nearer the mark,
Ah, but it was worth it, for I sang like a lark.
*
Now leave me alone, there is a job to be done,
Like saving our land from freefall, so glum,
I am your leader, now give me some space,
Slagging me off is a national disgrace.
*
I have a meeting to go to, another think-in, hee haw!
Goodbye and good riddance, now where is that bar?
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There was a politician, quite bad,
Who told us one day we were mad,
That we borrowed too much,
And with reality had lost touch,
I say it is he, not us, who is MAD.
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He thought he saw a politician,
Who lived the perfect life,
He looked again, and saw it was,
A huge, humongous lie .
That’s it, he said, I realise,
The foolishness of life.
It’s a mess
He thought he saw an honest man,
Within the parliament,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Another bloated blimp.
Unless they leave this house,” he said,
There will be no hope, I think.”
It’s a real mess!
He thought he saw a banker man,
Who made an honest buck,
He looked again, and saw he was,
Entwined in all the muck.
If I were king, he said,
His head would be on the block.
It’s a terrible mess!
He thought he saw a banker’s clerk,
A man of honest youth,
He looked again, and saw he was,
A succubus forsooth.
If he should stay, he said, for sure,
My savings I will lose.
Crikey, what a mess!
He thought he saw a kangaroo,
Hopping down his street one day,
He looked again, and saw it was,
A banker’s ill gained pay.
Were I to accept this, he said,
It would be a dark, dark day.
Mess, mess, mess!
He though he saw limousine,
With groom and bride, so sweet,
He looked again, and saw it was,
The country on its knees.
We’re lost, he said, the country’s bust,
Kaput, no more, deceased.
Fix the mess!
He though he saw a shaft of light,
That shone through all this gloom,
He looked again, and saw it was,
The cold, reflected moon.
If I were young, he said aloud,
I’d make them swing – and soon!
Get those who are responsible for the mess!
He though he saw a chink of light,
A way from all this mess,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Their New World Order – yes!
Their ways are bad, corrupt, he said
For them, not us, excess.
And when we get them, what are we going to do with them?
He thought he saw the final words,
Inscribed upon a sheet,
He looked again, and saw it was,
Them sweating from the heat.
They thought us fools, he sorely said,
Come on, we’ve lives to lead!
**************
Click HERE to visit my online book shop
where you can purchase this exciting new eBook.
I don’t care WHAT you call me
as long as you enjoy reading my stories
**************
Although my works are primarily aimed at children adults also enjoy reading them. My works include such notables as:
Tales of the Extraordinary,
The Witches
Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World
HARRY ROTTER (as opposed to Harry Potter)
Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad Mr Viscous
Slug Talk
The Tales of Beetle About
Tales of Childhood, volumes 1 and 2
Horrible Horace
Stories for Boys
The Three Faerie Sisters
A Christmas Carol Betwixt
The Fog
Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff
Stewed Rhymes
A Beer in a Burger Bar
And a whole lot MORE!!!
***************
Click HERE to visit my online book shop,
where you can purchase my eBooks.
I don’t care WHAT you call me
as long as you enjoy reading my stories
**************
Named after: Alice in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, who used the “Drink Me” potion and “Eat Me” cake to grow and shrink her way into Wonderland.
Symptoms: If you have AIWS, you perceive your body parts and objects around you as being larger or smaller than they actually are—not in an “OMG! My butt looks so big in this bikini!” way, but more in a “seeing everything through a fun house mirror” way. Once you’re down this rabbit hole, all bets are off. Your toes might appear to be several feet long. Your hand might look enormous. The door to the bathroom could shrink until it seems miles away. To make matters worse, your muddled perception may also extend to things like sounds and the passing of time. Is that a helicopter landing in your living room or the quiet hum of the dehumidifier? Have you been writing for four minutes or four hours? Tough to say.
Causes: AiWS is a neurological condition that usually hangs out with its BFF, the migraine, though it can also be caused by brain tumors, drug use, the Epstein Barr virus, and temporal lobe epilepsy. It’s more common among kids, and some people do grow out of it. Wonderland author Lewis Carroll (aka Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) himself suffered from migraines, and there’s some speculation that Alice’s changing size may have been inspired by his own AIWS experiences.
Misery factor: 9 out of 10. Noticing your office chair is the size of an elephant seems more quirky than life-destroying at first, but as the poor guy who wrote “I have Alice in Wonderland syndrome” for The Guardian points out, having no idea whether you are perceiving anything accurately is significantly disruptive. He moves clumsily because he has difficulty figuring out where the ground is and doesn’t dare cross streets because he can’t tell how large or small—and thus how near or far away—cars are.
The Shadow People are supernatural shadow-like humanoid figures that, according to believers, are seen flickering on walls and ceilings in the viewer’s peripheral vision. They are often reported moving with quick, jerky movements, and quickly disintegrate into walls or mirrors. They are believed to be evil and aggressive in nature, although a few people consider them to be a form of guardian angel.
In 2010, the apparitions were described as one of the most regularly reported paranormal phenomena in the United States. This is attributed to occasional reports on the Coast to Coast AM show, where paranormal researcher Heidi Hollis has been interviewed several times on the subject of shadow people. Hollis believes that shadow people have always existed, that they feed upon emotions of fear, and that they can be repelled by thinking positively. Others believe that shadow people may be the extra-dimensional inhabitants of another universe.
The stories of shadow people have been compared to those of the Raven Mocker, a witch from Cherokee Indian mythology who sometimes appears as a shadowy phantom, and the Islamic Djinn.
Several scientific principles can be used to explain reports of apparitional experiences such as shadow people. These include sleep paralysis, illusions, or hallucinations brought on by physiological or psychological circumstances, drug use or side effects of medication, and the interaction of external agents on the human body. Another reason that could be behind the illusion is sleep deprivation, which may lead to hallucinations.
“Sleep Paralysis” is a phenomenon in which people, either when falling asleep or wakening, temporarily experience an inability to move. More formally, it is a transition state between wakefulness and rest characterized by complete muscle atonia (muscle weakness). It can occur at sleep onset or upon awakening, and it is often associated with terrifying visions (e.g. an intruder in the room), to which one is unable to react due to paralysis. It is believed a result of disrupted REM sleep, which is normally characterized by complete muscle atonia that prevents individuals from acting out their dreams. Sleep paralysis has been linked to disorders such as narcolepsy, migraines, anxiety disorders, and obstructive sleep apnea; however, it can also occur in isolation. When linked to another disorder, sleep paralysis commonly occurs in association with the neuromuscular disorder narcolepsy.
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The Crazymad Writer Writes Again 