Aliens are coming to Ballykilduff…
???
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???
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Posted by The Crazymad Writer on June 19, 2014 in news
Tags: aliens

Aliens landed in Ballykilduff,
Aliens landed; that is a fact,
In the dark of the night it happened, it did,
At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.
Breda, dear Breda, wake up, will you please?
Something is happening and I am all in a tizz!
Leave me alone, she answered, I’m beat,
Having said that to me she fell fast asleep.
Donning my gown and slippers I left,
Her sleeping in bed as into the kitchen I crept,
Searching for light, the torch, my best friend,
I opened the door and into the garden I went.
Towards the end of the garden with my torch I progressed,
Then I climbed over the fence into the field with its guests,
Pointing my torch, I rained light upon them,
Aliens a plenty around a spaceship humming.
What are they doing? I wondered out loud,
Signalling my place, my location – and how,
Pointing their guns, the Aliens zapped me with rays,
Blue, yellow and green, orange and grey.
Thinking my time was finished, all gone,
I fell to the ground awaiting the anon,
Sorry about that, one of them said helping me up
We thought you were a cow wanting to eat us all up
What are you doing? I asked with curious eyes,
Seeing them cutting the grass, then taking it inside,
We are refuelling our spaceship, he told me quite proud,
We get one light year per armful, he said out aloud.
That’s amazing, I said, can I go see inside?
Sorry, he answered, it’s too small for your like,
Laughing, I asked if there was anything they need,
Yes, he told me forthrightly, can we have some tea?
Tea? I asked, you drink tea way up there,
In outer space, with its atmosphere rare?
No, silly, he replied, it’s to pour down our boots,
We never travel with them empty, forsooth.
You pour tea down your boots? I laughed out loud,
What does it do, make you fly like a bird?
It does, he told me, how did you know that?
Was your mother or father an alien, or even your cat?
Just then I heard something, someone calling to me,
Gerrard, wake up, its morning; here is your tea,
Opening my eyes, I saw Breda, my wife,
Offering the cup of plenty, tea; it’s my life.
Where are my boots? I asked, still half sleep,
I want them, I need them; oh where are they please?
They are under the bed, here, she said, offering them to me,
Why do you want them before drinking your tea?
Accepting my boots, I poured in the tea,
What on earth are you doing? she asked warily,
I don’t go anywhere without filling them first,
Can I have another cup, I asked, because I sure have a thirst.
The moral of my story is this:
Don’t go anyway near Ballykilduff, GIVE IT A MISS,
Strange things are happening down that neck of the woods,
Like Aliens, and Slugs driving campervans – and Fiats to boot.
Buy this exciting new eBook today.
It’s only 99 cents!
Posted by The Crazymad Writer on June 18, 2014 in Aliens, humor, humour, news
Tags: aliens, little green men, tea, UFO
Posted by The Crazymad Writer on June 6, 2014 in news
Buy this exciting new eBook TODAY!
(It’s only 99 cents)
CLICK HERE TO VISIT MY ONLINE BOOK SHOP
Aliens Landed in Ballykilduff eBook
Posted by The Crazymad Writer on June 4, 2014 in Aliens, eBook download, news
Aliens landed in Ballykilduff,
Aliens landed; that is a fact,
In the dark of the night it happened – it did,
At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.
*
Breda, dear Breda, wake up, will you please?
Something is happening; I am all in a tizz!
Leave me alone, she answered, because I am beat,
With those words on her lips, she fell fast asleep.
*
Donning my gown and slippers I left,
Her sleeping so soundly as into the kitchen I crept,
Searching for light; the torch, my best friend,
Then into the garden I stealthily went.
*
Down the long garden, man and torch progressed,
Then I climbed over the fence, into the field with its guests,
Pointing my torch at little grey men,
I saw Aliens a plenty around a UFO, broken.
*
What are they doing? I wondered out loud,
Signalling my place, my location – and how,
Pointing their guns, the Aliens zapped me with rays,
Blue, yellow and green, orange and grey.
*
Thinking my time was finished, all gone,
I fell to the ground, awaiting the anon,
Sorry about that, one of them said, helping me up
We thought you were a cow, wanting to gobble us up.
*
What are you doing? I asked, with curious eyes,
Seeing them cutting the grass and taking it inside,
We are refuelling our spaceship, he told me quite proud,
We get one light year per armful, he said out aloud.
*
That’s amazing, I said, can I see inside?
Sorry, he answered, it’s too small for your like,
Laughing, I asked if there was anything the need,
Yes, he told me forthrightly, can we have some tea?
*
Tea? I asked him, you drink tea way up there,
In outer space, with its atmosphere rare?
No, silly, he replied it’s to pour down our boots,
We never travel with them empty, forsooth.
*
You pour tea down your boots? I laughed out loud,
What does it do, make you fly like a bird?
It does, he told me, how did you know that?
Was your mother or father an alien, or even your cat?
*
Just then I heard something, someone calling to me,
Gerrard, wake up, its morning; here is your tea,
Opening my eyes, I saw Breda, my wife,
Offering the cup of plenty, tea, my life,
*
Where are my boots? I asked her, though still half sleep,
I want them, I need them; oh where are they please?
They are under the bed, here, she said offering them to me,
Why do you want them before drinking you tea?
*
Accepting my boots, I poured in the tea,
What on earth are you doing? she asked warily,
I don’t go anywhere, I told her, without filling them first,
Can I have another cup, I asked, because I sure have a thirst.
*
The moral of my story is this:
Don’t go anyway near Ballykilduff, GIVE IT A MISS,
For strange things are going on down that neck of the woods,
Like Aliens driving campervans – and Fiats, to boot,
*****************************
Click HERE to visit my online book shop,
where you can purchase my eBooks
**********
SOME PEOPLE CALL ME THE NEW ROALD DAHL.
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME
AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.
Posted by The Crazymad Writer on March 11, 2014 in Aliens, humor, humour, Stories for children
Albert Einstein Talks About Aliens ; that is a fact.
Posted by The Crazymad Writer on February 24, 2014 in Aliens, humor, humour
Tags: Albert Einstein, aliens
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Stories for children and young at heart adults.
Posted by The Crazymad Writer on December 13, 2013 in Aliens, children's stories, humor, humour, Stories for children
Tags: aliens, flying saucer, greys, UFO
Aliens landed in Ballykilduff,
Aliens landed; that is a fact,
In the dark of the night it happened, it did,
At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.
*************************************
Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop, where you can purchase my eBooks.
Posted by The Crazymad Writer on November 18, 2013 in Aliens, Doctor Who, Stories for children
Tags: aliens, Bookselling, E-book, eBook, Online Writing, Reading
Aliens landed in Ballykilduff,
Aliens landed; that is a fact,
In the dark of the night it happened, it did,
At the end of my garden they landed, then hid.
I was lying in bed, sleeping soundly one night, when something, a noise outside my bedroom widow woke me with a start. Sitting up in bed, I said, “What on earth was that?” However, despite listening intently I heard nothing else. Lying down again, I pulled the bed clothes tightly around me. “Brrr,” I said, shivering from the cold, “it feels more like winter than summer.” Pulling the bed clothes higher around me, I said, “This global warming thing, they keep telling us about, sure is cold.” With those words on my lips I fell fast asleep.
A few minutes the same noise woke me again. Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I said, “What on earth can it be?” Sitting up, I yawned, trying to figure it out. Scratching my head, I leaned over to the clock. Grabbing hold of it, I gazed it the dial. “It’s a quarter to four!” I grizzled. Scratching my head some more, I said, “Whoever is making that noise could have picked a better time in which to do it.”
Then I heard it again; the same noise, followed by the sound of banging and hammering. “Surely the neighbours aren’t fixing their car at this ungodly hour!” I groaned. “It has been giving them some trouble of late, but fixing it now, at a quarter to four in the morning, is going too far, so it is!”
The banging and hammering noises grew steadily louder. “It can’t be them, can it?” I growled. Getting out of bed, I shuffled across to the window. Pulling the curtains apart, I gazed outside, to their back garden. It was shrouded in darkness. “Well, it certainly ain’t them,” I said thankfully, “unless they can see in the dark.” Abandoning the curtain, I returned to bed.
I had only just laid my head on the pillow when the banging and hammering started again. Jumping out of bed, I groaned, “Will someone please tell me what is going on around here?”
Awakening from her slumbers, my wife, Breda, said, “What are you doing, Gerrard, standing at the end of the bed, ranting like a mad man?”
“I am sorry,” I answered. “I didn’t mean to awaken you.”
“Well, you did a good job of doing it,” she sarcastically replied. “What has you so worked up, anyhow?” she asked.
“It’s that noise,” I told her.
“Noise – what noise?”
“It was there a minute ago – honest it was.”
“Well, it’s not now!” she snapped. “Come to bed. You were probably having a dream.”
“More like a nightmare,” I grumbled. Approaching the widow, I pulled back the curtain, hoping to see the perpetrator going about his foul business. However, our garden, like our neighbour’s was shrouded in darkness.
“Forget about it,” Breda said to me. “On the morrow, we will go outside and see if anything is amiss. Meanwhile, get into bed lest you catch your death of cold!”
“Global warning, they keep telling us,” I said, grumbling about the weather.
“I’ll ‘global warming’ you if you don’t hush up and let me sleep!” she answered.
Suddenly, as I was letting go of the curtain an extraordinary bright flash outside secured my undivided attention.
CONTD
Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop,
where you can purchase my eBooks.
**********
Posted by The Crazymad Writer on October 14, 2013 in Aliens, Stories for children