RSS

Tag Archives: crazy

Embracing the Chaos: A Writer’s Journey

Embracing the Chaos: A Writer’s Journey

The Crazymad Writer, that’s me, you see,

A brain in chaos, a wild decree.

My thoughts, a whirlwind, a tangled yarn,

A literary tempest in a barn.

The words they tumble, they leap, they fly,

A frantic stampede beneath the sky.

A comma here, a semi-colon there,

A frantic dance on the brink of despair.

I write of dragons with spectacles perched,

Of teacups singing, for them I’ve searched.

Of socks that vanish, a mystery grand,

Of polka-dot elephants in the land.

Why do I do it? The mad, mad scrawl?

It’s either that, or climb the wall!

The stories bubble, they must break free,

Lest I become a footnote in history.

So forgive the frenzy, the ink-stained hand,

The logic lost on this scribbling land.

It’s not a choice, it’s a desperate need,

To plant this crazy, literary seed.

 

Tags: , ,

The Ballad of Dizziness Day

The Ballad of Dizziness Day

by the Crazymad Poet of Ballykillduff

Oh the world did sway on a curious day,
When the clouds spun ’round like socks in a fray,
And Ballykillduff, in its charming old way,
Woke up to find balance had wandered away.

Sean the Ram did a somersault flip,
The postman delivered a letter to a skip,
The church bell chimed with a hiccup and blip,
And the milk turned itself into strawberry whip.

Mrs McFadden clung tight to a tree,
“That’s my third bush this morning,” said she.
A goat rode a bicycle (accidentally),
And the vicar did cartwheels, shouting “Wheeeee!”

The baker rolled out of his shop like dough,
Shouting, “All my baguettes have learned to go!”
The ducks flew backwards in uneven rows,
And a sheep tried to tango with Farmer Joe’s toes.

Young Nora O’Bannigan spun in a whirl,
Chasing her braid like a dizzy young squirrel.
She tripped on a hedgehog, collided with Pearl,
Then shouted, “I’ve seen three versions of the world!”

The Council convened by the village green pond,
Where they’d buried the Beacon of Anti-Spin Bond.
With goggles, a chicken, and ceremony fond,
They summoned its power with a mystical wand.

Old McGroggin raised high the gold cone,
(While humming a strangely off-key baritone),
And the village fell still with a satisfied groan,
As balance returned—at least to the stone.

But the wobble, my friends, still comes once in a spell,
With tales of the time when Miss Bridie fell
Into a wheelbarrow halfway to Kells,
Still claiming she met a dimension called “Smell.”

So here’s to the Day of the Great Bally Sway,
Where gravity quit and ran far away—
If you’re ever in town when your legs go astray,
You’ll know you’ve arrived on… Dizziness Day!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 3, 2025 in crazy, crazymad, humor, humour, poems

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Alice Logs In

Alice Logs In

Alice Logs In

One sunny day in Wonderland,
While sipping tea and chewing sand,
Young Alice yawned and had a thought:
“Why are we all so pre-internet caught?”

She pulled an iPhone from her sock,
(It ticked and tocked like a talking clock),
She poked the screen and gave a grin—
“Let’s see what world I’ve wandered in!”

The Caterpillar popped online:
“Who R U? U up? U fine?”
The Cheshire Cat just posted memes,
And vanished mid-conspiracy themes.

The Hatter live-streamed tea debates,
With Bonkers takes on interest rates.
The Queen of Hearts launched NFTs:
“Buy now! Each comes with severed knees!”

Alice sighed. “This can’t be right—
We’ve meme’d away the day and night.
No riddles, rhymes, no flights of fancy—
Just trolls and ads and apps called ‘Dancy.’”

She tried to post: “I miss the trees.”
But all she got were angry bees—
Replies that buzzed: “You’re cringe! You’re fake!”
“Return to hole! Go eat a cake!”

She shut the phone and dropped it fast,
Deciding screen life couldn’t last.
She skipped away through mushroom mist,
Her Twitter never once was missed.

So if you find your world askew,
Try Wonderland, not Webpage 2.
You won’t need likes or streams or fame—
Just talking cats who know your name.

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

The Crazymad Writer (Returns!)

The Crazymad Writer (Returns!)

The Crazymad Writer (Returns!)

The Crazymad Writer was back once more,
With feathers for socks and jam on the floor.
He laughed at the kettle, then swallowed a map,
Declared it a Tuesday, and took a long nap.

His pencil was twitching, alive with glee,
It scribbled rude limericks all over his knee.
The wallpaper sighed, the curtains took flight,
And the teapot exploded in sheer delight.

He wrote with a sandwich, edited with jam,
Argued with Oxford about the word “blam!”
His footnotes were riddles, his index a maze,
His glossary danced for several days.

“I’m not mad,” he said with a wink and a shrug,
While whispering secrets into a plug.
“I simply see things the others don’t see—
Like giraffes in the sugar and moons in my tea!”

His desk had grown legs and strolled round the room,
His clock ticked in polka and smelled of perfume.
The typewriter giggled, the ink bottle sneezed,
While he wrestled a comma and shouted, “I’m pleased!”

So next time your spoon tries to quote Baudelaire,
Or your curtains start humming a waltz in the air,
Don’t panic or scream—don’t shout or take flight—
You’ve simply been blessed by the Crazymad Writer’s delight.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on July 15, 2025 in crazy, crazymad writer

 

Tags: , , , ,

The Crazymad Writer

The Crazymad Writer

The Crazymad Writer

In a tumbledown tower of ink and dreams,
Where nothing is ever quite what it seems,
Lives the Crazymad Writer, pen in hand,
Scribbling truths no one could understand.

He writes on toast, on cats, on air,
With paper hats and electric hair,
His slippers are books, his robe a rhyme,
He juggles with words, and swallows time.

He mutters in riddles, whispers in song,
Argues with commas that do him wrong,
His teacups hold oceans, storms, and tea,
And sometimes a ghost or a spelling bee.

“Reality’s boring!” he says with a grin,
Then peels off the sky and folds it in,
He talks to a chair, and the chair talks back—
They once wrote a sonnet about a yak.

Each story he spins is a curious thread,
Tied to a jellyfish, stitched to the dead,
The moon takes notes as he scribbles away,
And suns rise backwards just for a day.

He’s mad as a lorry that thinks it’s a hat,
But the world would be dull without people like that.
So if ever you find a tale strange and wild,
You’ve met the Crazymad Writer’s child.

 

Tags: , , , ,

He’s crazy and he’s bonkers

He’s crazy and he’s bonkers,
As mad as flaming conkers,
He’s altogether zonkers,
The Crazymad Writer.
*
His stories are a dream,
When people read, they gleam
He really is a scream
The Crazymad Writer.
*
Download a book today,
And join the mad brigade
Who love the tales he’s made,
The Crazymad Writer.

Mouse

 
1 Comment

Posted by on March 1, 2016 in crazy

 

Tags: ,

I may not be Roald Dahl…

I may not be Roald Dahl, J K Rowling, Darren Shan or even Derek Landy, but I am The Crazymad Writer – and proud of it!
Hello and welcome to my CRAZYMAD website, a place where I try to share with you, the reader, an impression of what it has been like, having to live through, to endure the many weird, wacky and oftentimes wonderful situations that I have found myself in during my CRAZYMAD life. I have no idea why such things happened to me – but they did. All that that I can think of, can say by way of explanation, is that we all experience CRAZYMAD things during our brief stay on earth, but most of us erase them from our consciousness, preferring to recall only the mundane day-to-day situations, that we are comfortable with, that help us to fit in and be ‘normal’.
Sadly, our collective consciousness seems to have ‘developed’ to the stage where we prefer to hear and read about celebrities and their lives of vulgar excess, rather than living our own lives in which we can follow own dreams and do almost anything we want, if we feel so inclined, that is.
I invite you to read my CRAZYMAD stories about my CRAZYMAD life. And when you have read them, I strongly urge you to look deep within yourself, and to live your own CRAZYMAD life to the full. Meanwhile, sit back and enjoy the read, and know you this; each and every one of the stories about me is true!

free screensaver

 
 

Tags: , , , , ,

Do you want to be certified?

Do you want to be certified as a true practitioner of Mysticology and Magic?

Simply right click on the certificate, below, and save it to your computer.

Then print it, and write your name in the space provided.

You will then be an honorary member of the Onishian

Brotherhood of Mystics.

Fantasy stories for children and adults

*********

Stories for children and adults by The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

 

Tags: , , , , ,

The New Crazymad Writer 75 pence postage stamp

It sure is a beauty!

I am NOT Roald Dahl

And here is another one…

Bolf is a very old troll

 
 

Tags: , , , ,

I am I and who are YOU?

I am Gerrard T Wilson, The Crazymad Writer of children’s stories.

Although my works are primarily aimed at children, adults can and, indeed do,

read them with as much interest and excitement. I like to think that my work

has a universal appeal, spanning the generations, the sexes and even the

continents. I have written so many stories, including ‘Tales of the Extraordinary’

(short stories with a unique, sometimes chilling appeal), ‘Ali-bonkers’,

‘Fizzy Cherry Cola’, and ‘The Witches’, also ‘Forget the Celebrities –

Read about My Crazy Life’ (weird and bizarre tales from my absolutely

crazy-mad life), ‘Alice in Wonderland on Top of the World’ (a follow on story

to Alice in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass), ‘HARRY ROTTER

(she’s a girl and a bad one at that), and ‘Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad

Mr Viscous’ (Jimmy is trying to stop Mr Viscous from rendering the

horses into GLUE). I also wrote ‘Nursery Rhymes – MY CRAZYMAD WAY’

(my own unique slant on some familiar rhymes), ‘My CRAZYMAD Poems’

(a collection of strange, oddball, oftentimes bizarre poems, including

‘Are you Normal?’, ‘Conkers Bonkers’, ‘Louco’s Preferred Drink’,

‘Sparky Parents’ , and ‘I’m NOT Mad’). There is also ‘Bolf’

(a Troll whose idea of a having good time is eating empty cigarette packets!).

You will also read about ‘Fle’ (an extremely old elf who lives in a fertilizer mine),

‘Fairy Tales’ including ‘The Three Faerie Sisters’, the ‘Little Brown Frog’, and

‘A Christmas Story’. Next up is ‘God, dog and Beelzebub’ (what (what on earth

can that be about?), ‘Greengrocer Jack and the Talking Cabbages’ (trying to stop

a giant Yam from taking over the world), ‘Poor Jane’, and ‘A Punt across the

Thames’ (I almost drowned that day!). Last, but certainly not least, I also

wrote Wot, Nott, Kakuri and the HU BA HOU’, a series (three quadrilogies)

featuring the oddball Outlanders, Wot and Nott.

Instead of giving your child that extra toy for his or her birthday, a book is a

far better option. Preferably one of mine, I am sure they will treasure it long

after their toys are abandoned at the back of that dusty old wardrobe.

Signed: The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH.

 

Tags: , , , , ,