RSS

Tag Archives: writer

He’s crazy and he’s bonkers, as mad as flaming conkers

99 cent ebooks

He’s crazy and he’s bonkers,
As mad as flaming conkers,
He’s altogether zonkers,
The Crazymad Writer.
*
His stories are a dream,
When people read, they gleam
He really is a scream
The Crazymad Writer.
*
Download a book today,
And join the mad brigade
Who love the tales he’s made,
The Crazymad Writer.

The Crazymad Writer in red

Stories for children

and young at heart adults

by, ME, The Crazymad Writer – arrrgh.

 

Tags: , , , ,

Don’t call me that name, the new Roald Dahl!

The Crazymad Writer writes again.

Don’t call me that name, the new Roald Dahl,

I am not that man, either new or old,

I am a writer, as mad as can be,

The Crazymad Writer; it’s the truth – YIPPEE.

Little green Man

 

Tags: , , ,

The Amulet of Oxmosis

99 cent ebooks

The Amulet of Oxmosis

Whilst out on a drive in my beetle, one day,
She put-putted along quite happily away,
Down streets so crowded with people, that’s right,
I was slap-bang in the centre of London, so bright.
*
As I drove my love bug through old London town,
Watching the people all milling around,
Something caught my attention within this mad rush,
An item, in the gutter, all covered in dust.
*
Applying the brakes, I screeched to a halt,
Then opened my door despite the retort,
From drivers not happy all with my tack,
You’re blocking our way, they shouted, quite hacked.
*
I won’t be a tick, I said smiling at them,
As leaning down low, I inspected this thing,
That although almost totally covered in dust,
Glistened so brightly, like gold; it’s a fact.
*
Wiping it clean, the gold sparkled, and how!
It’s an amulet and chain, I spluttered out loud,
Then apologising again, for the jam I had caused,
I returned to my bug amidst facetious applause.
*
Slamming into gear, I tore down that street,
Away from old London, and all of those feet,
Where people could see me, and what I had found,
An amulet – my amulet; I left London town.
*
Far out in the sticks, I slowed to a halt,
Away from all eyes, or so I had thought,
Inspecting my prize, my amulet, so dazzling,
With diamonds and rubies and garnets, enticing.
*
It’s mine, all mine, I cried out, with joy.
I’ll be rich, I’ll sell it – I’ll sell it today,
Then a hand dove through the window, into my car,
And took it, it took it, my amulet so rare.
*
What are you doing? I gasped, trying to see,
Who was taking, stealing the amulet from me,
Then I saw him, a man, bald-headed and robed,
With eyes so black, as black as coal.
*
I am Miafra, he said, in a slow, haughty tone,
With this power, of Oxmosis, I will crush all my foes.
Wot, Nott and Kakuri will cease to be,
They will crumble and die, in ignominious defeat.
*
The Amulet of Oxmosis, is that what it is?
That’s what I asked him, my brain in a tizz,
But Miafra, already chanting his spell,
Made ready to dispatch me downwards to Hell.
*
Wait, WAIT! I pleaded, stalling for time,
I have some information, of the magical kind,
With that his ears perked, and he listened for more,
But all that I did was slam shut the door.
*
Turning the key, the engine burst into life,
Put-putting away; it didn’t think twice,
With pedal to the metal, I swiftly sped off,
Forgetting all about the magical amulet.
*
Yes, yes, I know, Miafra still had it, clear,
As he hastened away to Onisha, I fear.
To crush his opponents, Wot, Nott and Kakuri,
But that was their problem, for I had to hurry.
*
If you are thinking of me as cold and aloof,
Leaving folks to their fate, not giving a hoot,
Then open that story at chapter, first one,
To see what will happen, and what can be done…
****************************

Stories for children and young at heart adults

I am The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH

*

99 cent eBooks you can download today.

99 cent eBooks

 
 

Tags: , , ,

I am The Crazymad Writer

Some people say I am crazy…

I tell them I am crazy – and mad

I don’t care WHAT you call me as long as you enjoy reading my stories.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 18, 2014 in news

 

Tags: , , , ,

Mystical Cola

Mystical Cola, powerful might,

Thunderous magic, hidden from sight,

Disguised by a treat,

Sugary and sweet,

A shortcut to enlightenment,

The Cryptic Agenda decree.

 *

If this has you thinking,

I would like to try that,

Go visit their temple,

And study their track,

But watch out for that bottle once it’s uncorked,

Lest you are drawn to its magic and inside it are caught.

********************

sparkClick HERE to visit my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks

**********

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU CALL ME

AS LONG AS YOU ENJOY READING MY STORIES.

I am the Crazymad writer – ARRRGH.

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Giggle my Boots

Giggle my boots, gaggle my hat,

Goggle my shirtsleeves and fraggle that cat.

I am friggled with laughter, for I know that it’s true,

That you really do love me, not Johnny Lazoo.

  **********

You see, Johnny Lazoo, a man of some strength,

Wanted to court you, wanted to bend,

Your ear with his stories, your eye with his looks,

But you never gave him as much as a look.
 

  **********

The day that you said, ‘Yes, I’ll marry you, I will,’

Was the happiest day of my life; it was brill,

To think that you chose me over Johnny Lazoo,

Makes me friggle with laughter, knowing it’s true.
 

  **********

Before I head off with my bride and my life,

I will give you this piece of excellent advice.

If you are planning to woo your beau, here’s the rub,

Friggle her with laughter and griggle her with love.

  **********

The Crazymad Writer writes again.

Stories for children and young at heart adults

By ME, The Crazymad Writer – ARRRRGH.

 

Tags: , , , ,

To Boldly Go

To Boldly Go

To boldly go where no man has gone,

 Our intrepid explorers fight the Klingons,

 They battles with foes and forces unknown,

 Kirk and his crew are so far from home.

 **********

Warping past Dwarfs as red as can be,

Streaking through space, and all for the free,

The freedom of choice, for you and for me,

Our intrepid explorers go forward boldly.

 **********

Out into the blackness, the fear and the dread,

Kirk and his crew by passion are led,

Explorers by nature, fighters by chance,

Man and machine go boldly ever on.

 **********

It was a voyage of years, a mission of five,

That’s all was intended, I tell you no lie,

More than forty years later they’re still forging on,

Onwards and upwards, to a new dawn.

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I am a poor writer…

I am a poor writer, this is quite true,
Writing my stories for each one of you,
Tales to intrigue entertain and delight,
And I will do it until the day that I die.

If you were to ask me, why do I bother at all?
Competing against Rowling, Shan and Roald Dahl,
I would answer; I LOVE it, writing my stories each day,
And if I were to suddenly become famous,
I would appreciate the pay!
**********
Click HERE to be transferred to my online book shop,

where you can purchase my eBooks
**********

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 18, 2013 in Stories for children

 

Tags: , ,

Stone The Crows

Stone The Crows

 

Stone the crows.

What can you mean?

I said stone the crows.

You are awful mean,

To think you could hurt such wonderful birds,

I say stone you too, you are so absurd.

**********

Stone the crows.

Not YOU again.

Stone the crows.

You are not my friend,

That you could maim such marvellous things,

I say stone you too, you horrible thing!

**********

Stone the crows,

It’s a figure of speech!

Stone the crows?

It’s how I speak,

It means, Well I never,

I won’t harm the birds.

Stone the crows are such wonderful words.

**********

Stories for children and young at heart adults

by The Crazymad Writer – ARRRGH!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 14, 2013 in poems, The Crazymad Writer

 

Tags: , , , ,