A NEW Alice in Wonderland story
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Dunking the Mouse
Dunking the Mouse, Oh, Dunking the Mouse,
What can be better than dunking the Mouse?
Be it with a fine friend like the Rabbit, so stout,
Or on my old lonesome, I love dunking the Mouse.
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I open the pot and stick his head in,
And before he’s awoken he’s half the way in.
With Rabbit a-helping, we finish the job,
Then put the lid on, though Mouse is beginning to sob.
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‘Oh please let me out’, he implore us, so meek,
But why should we do that when the tea tastes so sweet?
‘Oh give me a cup of that heavenly brew’,
Says Rabbit to me, ‘and a jam tart for you’.
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I pour out two cups and we sit down anew,
With the tea and the tarts – and with Mouse in the brew,
Until Alice strolls by, and unsettles our ruse,
Saving Mouse from his fate and us from the noose.
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The Queen of Hearts
The Queen of Hearts,
She made some tarts,
All on a summer’s day.
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The Knave of Hearts;
Did he steal those tarts?
Did he steal them right away?
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The King of Hearts,
Called for the tarts,
And the knave, to beat, for sure.
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But the Knave of Hearts,
Got off scot free,
With Alice, amidst furor.
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Off with her head!
Off with her head, I said, OFF, OFF, OFF!
Off with her head; put it on a block!
Swing your axe high executioner; find the true mark!
I said off with her head, now; make a start!
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Why do you want to punish her, so?
Said the King for Alice, standing below.
She is just a child; a mere wisp of a girl,
Searching for Rabbit’s house at the Top of the World.
**********
For a moment the Queen faltered, mulling her plan,
Then she roared, Are you mouse or a man?
Alice’s head it must fall or yours will be next!
Off with her head and don’t make a mess!
**********
Standing, there, listening, Alice thought she was done,
Waiting for the chopper with its final anon.
Then down from the sky an old man appeared,
Then he whisked her away; tucked under his beard!
**********
She won’t be chopping your head, he said with a smile,
Father Christmas, to the poor, startled child.
Let us up and away and follow our snouts,
To the Top of the World and the Rabbit’s fine house.
**********
Hissing her annoyance, the Queen voiced her thoughts,
Behead everyone, and then she went for a walk.
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I am a Cat
I am a Cat, it said smiling at her,
A Cheshire Cat; you can tell by my fur,
My paws and whiskers are also a hint,
But the smile on my face is most significant.
…………………………………………
I can see by your fur, said Alice – I do,
And also your paws and whiskers; it’s true,
But that smile on your face has me all in a tizz,
Coming and going, in such a whiz.
………………………………………
Still smiling at Alice, the Cat dryly replied,
You’d never believe me; you’d think I had lied,
If the smile on my face was gone; it’s a fact,
No one would listen or look at this Cat.
………………………………………….
Without offering Alice a chance to reply,
The Cat went on with his horrible lie,
Creeping closer and closer, until ever so near,
When he pounced, lashed out, cutting her ear.
…………………………………………..
Feeling the hurt and the blood running down,
Alice said, I was such a clown,
To have ever believed a Cat with a grin,
Take that, and that, you horrible thing!
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